


Legally Blind, Legally Blond, Legally Besotted

by messymiso



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Office, BDSM, But only a little, Camboy!Yamaguchi, Choking, Exhibitionism, Fluff and Smut, Gay Disaster Tsukishima, Lawyer!Tsukishima, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Phone Sex, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Safe Sane and Consensual, Size Kink, Smut, Subspace, Switching, Top/Bottom Roulette, Very Inaccurate Portrayal Of A Lawfirm, degradation kink, no beta we die like men, this has nothing to do with legally blonde
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:21:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 53,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messymiso/pseuds/messymiso
Summary: Yamaguchi was living a double life.Most of the time, he was just a regular law student. Working hard to keep his grades perfect, going out with his friends on the weekends, visiting his parents back home once a month. But just like any regular student, he needed a roof over his head and food on the table.So, three nights a week, Yamaguchi turned into Nyx to pay the bills.And he wouldn’t give it up for the world.-----Seemingly out of nowhere, a mysterious stranger leaves Yamaguchi the biggest tip of his career. Little does he know, he'll see much more of Kei than he initially thought.A sickly sweet and incredibly horny office/camsite love story. TLDR: They're both stupid and in love.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 112
Kudos: 281





	1. Anything

Yamaguchi was living a double life.

Most of the time, he was just a regular law student. Working hard to keep his grades perfect, going out with his friends on the weekends, visiting his parents back home once a month.

But just like any regular student, he needed a roof over his head and food on the table.

So, three nights a week, Yamaguchi turned into Nyx to pay the bills.

And he wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Currently, he was sprawled out on his bed, only wearing his chain harness and a pair of black boxers, lazily sucking on a cherry lollipop while scrolling through his comments. He knew exactly just how to angle his face and body to the webcam to get what he wanted. Not revealing too much yet but teasing what would be sure to come – for the right price, of course.

After greeting a few of his regulars whose usernames he saw popping up in the chat, he started the show he had planned for tonight, turning his focus completely onto the candy currently in his mouth. His lips were already stained dark pink and he made sure to make a show out of popping the ball in and out of his mouth slowly, over and over again, to deepen the color and keep them glistening.

Comments and tokens started rolling in when he pulled it out between his lips fully with a quiet _pop_ and instead started licking it with his red, cherry-flavored tongue.

 **[** **BigDaddy3817** **]** **sent 20 tokens**

 **[** **BigDaddy3817** **]** **u look so pretty with red lips nyx**

 **[** **CherryChan** **]** **hehe I love the idea of nyx licking me**

“You chose the right name for tonight, Cherry-chan,” Yamaguchi purred in his cam-voice. He winked at the camera, giving the red lollypop a few swirls with his tongue. The correct move.

 **[** **CherryChan** **]** **sent 30 tokens**

 **[** **CherryChan** **]** **mgh nyx you drive me crazy**

Yamaguchi chuckled softly at the comment and thanked her for the tokens. Having both male and female viewers as regulars gave Yamaguchi a big array of options for his content which he took advantage of shamelessly. While most of his colleagues on the site focussed on catering to either one or the other, he had happily settled in the niche just in between and he fit right in. Decision making had never been his strong forte anyway. 

When the lollypop in his mouth started to become smaller and smaller, he started to move to the next step in tonight’s show. Blindly grabbing for the box of his supplies _,_ he addressed his viewers with a teasing smile on his lips.

“So, what do you want to watch me impale myself on tonight?”

He ignored the influx of comments and instead went to browse through his collection. He pulled out a plain, flesh-colored suction cup dildo and held it up to the camera. It was just a little over average size and one of Yamaguchi’s most trusted companions on his channel, but he already knew that he wouldn’t actually end up using it that night. Still, seeing the fight in the comments was always entertaining and brought in tokens so he played it out for a little while.

“What do you think about this pretty cock?” he asked, blinking up into the camera.

He popped the lollypop out of his mouth and started lapping at the dildo instead with his stained tongue. It left a faint cherry flavor on the rubber head and he took his time to thoroughly suck it all off again, making a show of swirling his tongue around and sucking the head in and out between his lips slowly.

Tokens flooded his inbox.

 **[** **xHentaiSenpai4298** **]** **please fuck that one tonight nyx-chan it looks just like my big cock**

 **[** **xHentaiSenpai4298** **]** **sent 100 tokens**

 **[** **CherryChan** **]** **afskafxja I bought the same dildo for myself bc of u!!!!!**

 **[** **GoddessRuby3** **]** **I would peg you so good with that pretty cock nyx-san, but I think you can go bigger for me**

 **[** **GoddessRuby3** **]** **sent 200 tokens**

Yamaguchi happily obliged the suggestion and pulled out the next toy he was eyeing. It was dark purple, bendy silicone and with a good 9-inch length and almost wrist-thick girth, definitely a step up from the one before. He held it up to the camera again, winking knowingly at his viewers, and then proceeded to sink his lips around it without further ado. It stretched his jaw with familiar ache and hit the back of his throat already two-thirds of the length in, but he purposefully choked on it, making himself tear up just a tiny bit.

He knew how much his audience loved runny eyes and he made sure to provide.

After bobbing his head on it for a bit and making sure to cover the toy with lots of spit, he pulled back up again, teary eyes looking directly into the camera. A thin trail of drool hung from his lips, connecting to the glistening head of the purple fake dick and one glance at the comments was enough to prove that he was doing everything right.

With a sheepish smile, he wiped his mouth with his thumb, sticking it back into his mouth and sucking it clean in the process. It made a small _pop_ when he pulled it back out and he smiled up at the camera. “What do you think, Ruby. That one big enough for you?”

 **[** **GoddessRuby3** **]** **you’re such a good boy nyx, mommy is very happy**

 **[** **GoddessRuby3** **]** **sent 300 tokens**

Yamaguchi hummed in approval at the tip. “Thank you, mommy.”

The comments went wild again, flooding over with praise and tips from his female viewers and a couple of protests from the men. But he knew how to soothe them.

He secured the suction cup dildo on his nightstand and started the actual show of the night. Without taking his eyes off the webcam, he let his slender fingers sweep over his bottom lip, wetting them just enough to make them glide over his torso and the chains covering it smoothly. They caught onto his right nipple, carefully toying with the silver barbell piercing that went through it and rubbing the sensitive spot until it was glistening. A soft, content moan slipped out of his mouth, just enough to keep his viewers satisfied until the next step.

“Mmh, feels so good, I’m so hard,” he whined, tweaking his voice so it sounded way needier than he actually was, but he could hear the comments and tips coming in steadily. Yamaguchi let his hands wander down further, hooking into the waistband of his straining boxers. Then, tracing a finger over the outline of his erection teasingly, leaning into the touch with another small moan, he started the bidding.

“Who wants to be the lucky one undressing me tonight?”

He kept the teasing up while he observed his viewers battling it out in the comments. They knew, whoever dropped the tip that caused his final piece of clothing to be removed gained the privilege of having their name moaned out when he eventually came later on.

Some of his regulars were bickering about it between themselves, but before any of them had a chance to send their offer, a stranger dropped the biggest tip he had ever received at once. It stilled the comments and left Yamaguchi’s mouth hanging open in shock.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **sent 8000 tokens**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **Is this enough to take you into a private room right now?**

Holy fuck.

Yamaguchi stopped dead in his tracks and read the number over and over again.

8000 tokens? Were they out of their mind?

That was more than Yamaguchi made on a regular night. Sure, he was used to bigger tips every once in a while, but he was far from popular, and he had never received this much at once. All that just for a private show?

His breath caught in his throat, and a million thoughts swirled through his mind.

His first instinct was, of course, to accept, but he was quick to reconsider. It sounded way too good to be true, there had to be something off about it. Why would anyone crash a public stream like that when they could just request a private one another time? And what about his regulars, his viewers waiting in the stream? Yamaguchi felt a pang of guilt in his chest. They had already offered him tokens tonight, obviously expecting to see the rest of the show and get their money’s worth. He didn’t want to leave them hanging just for a one-time offer, they were the ones that, bit by bit, paid his rent every month. What would they-

 **[** **blank11** **]** **I’m waiting, Nyx**

Yamaguchi shook the surprise off him, put his cam face back on, and scooted closer to the webcam. “Thank you very much for your tip blank-san, but I would feel really bad to leave the rest of my audience blue-balled tonight. I can finish this show and take you to a private room afterward? What do you think?”

It took a few seconds for the stranger to pop up in the chat again, but he got his reply.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **Isn’t leaving them blue-balled half the fun?**

Yamaguchi really didn’t want to, but he just couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at the remark. That person was cocky. They did have a point, but this was Yamaguchi’s income, he couldn’t just risk it on behalf of one teasing remark.

“You’re funny blank-san. Tell me, what’s so special that it has to stay between you and me? There’s a lot of things I can do for you right here and right now, you know?”

He half offered; half teased, but Yamaguchi was genuinely just curious why the viewer would want to go private. On top of that, he was sure his regulars would appreciate him not just jumping away from them at the mere whiff of a big tip and instead, getting them a good show too.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **You’re smart Nyx I give you that**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **Why can’t I just enjoy having you all to myself?**

Before Yamaguchi could answer, more comments came rolling in. Most of them were from his regulars and – surprisingly – extremely supportive.

 **[** **CherryChan** **]** **Blank-san you’re a meanie don’t steal him away from us mpf :(**

 **[** **CherryChan** **]** **but get the bag nyx! we’ll be waiting for you on Friday**

 **[** **xHentaiSenpai4298** **]** **just make it xtra good next time nyx-chan**

Sure, he got some protests and his viewer count quickly decreased due to him stalling the show, but at this point, Yamaguchi was pretty positive that his regulars would allow him one night away.

Still a little reluctant, Yamaguchi made his decision. He just prayed to the cam gods that he wouldn’t be regretting this later.

“Well, blank-san, I guess that means that I’ll see you in the private room. Thank you, everyone, I promise I’ll make it up to you on Friday!”

Yamaguchi winked at the camera one last time, throwing a kiss, and, with a practiced click, ended the public stream. Once the camera was off, he let himself collapse onto the bed with a sigh.

What. The. Fuck.

He groaned loudly into his empty bedroom, still confused and unsure about whatever the hell that was. It had come out of nowhere and he wasn’t really sure what to expect.

He allowed himself another couple of seconds to collect himself, until he got up again with another sigh and went to invite blank11 into a private room. An unfamiliar feeling stirred in his stomach and he physically shook to get it out of him. Why the hell was he feeling _nervous_ all of the sudden? He had done private shows countless of times before and it had never bothered him before. Still, something in the way the stranger had acted in the stream, the way they spoke, awakened a burning curiosity inside him and he could barely contain the weird feeling flowing through him at the thought of being alone with them.

Unsurprisingly, their profile was left fully blank. Just what kind of person was he dealing with here?

Yamaguchi swallowed heavily and clicked on the invite button. The image of himself, almost naked and a little disheveled, stared back at him from his screen - he looked flustered, hair and face a little messy from the beginning of the session earlier. He wiped at the corner of his mouth, suddenly self-conscious about the sticky remainders of the lollipop, but blank11 had already seen him like that and they wouldn’t mind. He hoped.

It only took a few seconds for their default icon to pop up in the chat and Yamaguchi slipped his cam face and voice back on for them.

“Welcome back blank-san. Thank you for your patience. I’ll make sure it’s going to be worth it.” He winked at the camera before leaning forward seductively, asking the first question in his regular protocol. “Would you want to come onto voice chat for me, blank-san?”

Yamaguchi preferred this option for his private calls, that way he didn’t have to keep the chat in his view field when he performed. Sure, occasionally his clients made some, well, _questionable_ noises, but it was nothing he couldn’t deal with. As long as he didn’t have to see them, he couldn’t care less about what they were doing on their side of the screen.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **how could I ever say no when you ask so nicely?**

He couldn’t help the small chuckle escaping from his mouth. How charming. With another click, blank11 was on call and he could _finally_ hear their voice.

“Good evening Nyx.”

Yamaguchi gulped. The voice sounded smooth, deep, beautiful, gliding down like honey even with the slight distortion from the call function. It trickled into Yamaguchi’s ear like warm water, making him tingle all over, but he suppressed the shiver threatening to take over his body. No way in hell would he ever let a customer see that they were attractive to him in the slightest. Very bad for business and even worse for his headspace. So, Yamaguchi shook it off and continued with his usual protocol.

“Is there a name you would prefer to be called instead of your username, blank-san? It can be anything you want.”

They took a moment to reply, probably thinking about what they would be comfortable to disclose, but he got his answer eventually. “Kei. You can call me Kei.”

Yamaguchi cocked his eyebrow at the camera and gave it a teasing smile. “Of course Kei, I can do that. Is that your name?”

“What if it is?” he shot back, but it didn’t sound harsh at all. It was a challenge.

“I just have a big soft spot for customers that trust me with their names, you know?”

Kei chuckled on the other end of the line. “If that’s the case, it definitely is my name.” 

That guy was so cocky it was absolutely hilarious. He teased back, for the hell of it. “I see how it is, Kei. I guess I’ll just have to trust your word.”

“Does that still secure me one of your soft spots, or do I need to provide proof of identity for that?”

Yamaguchi couldn’t help but laugh. He scrunched his nose up, trying to suppress it, and shook his head at the camera vehemently. “No, no, don’t worry Kei. You already had it safe anyway.”

He could _almost_ see the smile on the other side of the screen. Or at least, he imagined it to be there. But Yamaguchi reminded himself that he was still serving a customer and probably shouldn’t get too carried away with his image of the man on the other side. So, next step on the protocol it was. “Well, Kei, what can I do for you tonight? If you want, I can continue where I left off earlier, or you can tell me what you have in mind for me?”

It was quiet for a moment and Yamaguchi could feel the suspense itching in his fingers. What would it be? What was it that had made him spend so much money on a private show? Did he have an embarrassing kink? Did he want to play out a super-specific scenario? The curiosity was killing him.

When Kei spoke up again, Yamaguchi was prepared for the worst. 

“You see Nyx, I’m curious to see what you look like when you actually enjoy yourself. Do whatever you want, whatever it is you like, but I just couldn’t _stand_ that fake expression on you earlier. I want you to make yourself feel good. Don’t put on a show for me, that’s all I ask.

Yamaguchi let the instruction process in his head.

_What?_

Had he seriously just dropped over _40 thousand yen_ simply because he had a bad customer service face? Casually, just like that? Was this a joke?

“Well, Nyx? Think you can do that for me?”

Kei’s deep voice ripped him out of his confused state and, instinctively, he nodded. Fuck it. If he wanted to just watch him get off, _actually_ get off, he wouldn’t deny the request. “Of course, Kei. If that’s what you want, I can do that for you.”

“Good.”

The simple praise coming from the other side of the chat sounded syrupy sweet to him and this time, he couldn’t have suppressed the shiver rippling through his body even if he wanted to. Why did he have to sound so goddamn _good_? And why did it make Yamaguchi feel like that? He had never felt such an intense interest towards a customer before, and no one else had gotten to him like this particular one.

What the hell made this particular stranger so different from the others? He didn’t even know who they were. He shouldn’t be feeling _this_ much attraction to nothing but a voice.

Then, again, Yamaguchi supposed it didn’t matter. He could simply give in to the temptation of melting away under his voice, enjoy himself for the night and no one would know. Hell, that was exactly what Kei wanted him to do anyway. So he did as instructed and started with his definitely-not-a-performance performance.

Yamaguchi slumped down onto his sheets, spreading his legs slightly and arching his back up to stretch it until he settled into a comfortable position. Then, picking up where he had been interrupted before, he returned his fingers to graze over the fabric of his boxers. Just hearing Kei’s stern but pleased affirmation had made the blood rush back to his groin and the feeling of running his fingertips over the sensitive area now drew a content sigh from his lips.

_I want you to make yourself feel good._

The words played over and over in his head while he teased himself, and it made him think – what - _did -_ he want to make himself feel good? For the past three years, he had experienced the vast majority of his orgasms on stream, exposed to hundreds, sometimes thousands of attentive and hungry eyes at a time, always trying to keep up the image he had established for himself. Artfully arching his body, moaning just like he had practiced again and again. And sure, he had experienced some great orgasms for his audience. But what did he _actually_ want? What did he _like_?

 _That guy’s voice_ his mind helpfully supplied, and he sighed again. As much as he wanted to tell himself that it was a lie, he couldn’t exactly ignore the effects Kei’s words had on his body. There wouldn’t be any harm in getting him to talk again, right?

“Kei, can I ask you something?”

Well, that just sounded pathetic. But too late, it was already out.

“Of course you can.”

The shivers rolled over Yamaguchi’s skin again and he instinctively arched into his fingers a little more at the sound of the stranger. How did he manage to make everything sound so sexily condescending? Was that even a thing?

“W-why did you choose my stream if you didn’t like the way I looked?”

A low, huffed out laugh rumbled over the speakers and it was the hottest thing he had ever heard. “If you really think I don’t find you attractive, you’re much dumber than you look, Nyx.”

Okay, scratch that, _this_ was the hottest thing he’d ever heard. His embarrassment at the comment was making itself visible in the form of the traitorous blush creeping up in his cheeks and the feeling of warmth spreading from his lower abdomen.

“Just to make it clear, I very much enjoy the view,” Kei continued on the other side of the line. “The only thing that bothered me earlier was your awful acting, but I’m delighted to see that you don’t need that anymore.”

Yamaguchi’s cheeks went from light pink to deep red.

Kei didn’t seem to mind.

“You look pretty when you blush like that Nyx. Anyone ever tell you that?” he teased, and it didn’t exactly help. Instead of giving him an answer, Yamaguchi just shook his head and pressed down harder against his aching dick.

“Really?”

He could hear a deep huff from the other side of the line. “Well, I guess that makes all of your customers absolute fucking _fools_ because seeing your face like that is making it really hard for me.”

A whimper slipped from Yamaguchi’s mouth before he could bite it back. He was painfully hard, and he could feel the fabric of his boxers dampening near the waistband. It was all Kei’s fault. Kei and his stupidly hot choice of words. And what the hell did he even mean by that?

“K-kei?”

Yamaguchi tried, _really tried_ , to keep his voice steady but his attempt failed miserably. In his defense, it was kind of hard to think straight while stroking himself.

“Yes, Nyx-san?”

“What kind of things are you thinking about?”

Kei chuckled on the other side of the line and the deep rumble went straight to Yamaguchi’s dick. He picked up the pace at which he was rubbing himself over his boxers and sighed contently at the sensation.

“All the different sins I could commit to getting you to look this flustered. All the different things I could do to get you to make more of those pretty sounds. You blush so prettily, Nyx. I bet it would be _so_ easy to embarrass you.”

A million different scenarios flashed through Yamaguchi’s mind and he whimpered quietly as he imagined all the different ways he could come undone for Kei.

“Oh? You like the idea of that?” he teased at his reaction and Yamaguchi nodded eagerly. Kei continued. “Your face looks so innocent, I bet no one around you has a clue how you actually spend your Wednesday nights. Do you keep it a secret? Do you only show this side of you off here?”

Yamaguchi nodded again. “Y-yeah. No one really knows.”

“I like the thought of that Nyx. Having this part of you all to myself. Not even the rest of your little fan club gets to see you like this, do they?”

“No, Kei ah-“ he shivered under his frantic touches and the embarrassment of admitting to Kei’s words. He _never_ lost his composure on stream. “T-they don’t.”

A pleased sound of affirmation rumbled through the connection. “Good, good." He paused for a second, tone deepening even more. "I really don’t like to share.”

Yamaguchi almost shook all over at the statement, arching into his hand even more. He was aching and as nice as the friction of his boxers felt, it just wasn’t enough anymore. His fingers slipped under the waistband but paused before he could pull them down fully. The words left his mouth without thinking.

“Kei?”

“Yes, Nyx?”

“Can I take them off?”

The man on the other side chuckled. “Well, aren’t you a polite one? Do I really sound intimidating enough to have you asking for permission already? I haven’t even gotten started yet.”

_He hasn’t even gotten started yet?_

Yamaguchi gulped but traitorous heat shot through his lower body anyway, making him squirm. He wanted to know what else he could get him to do, how much further he could push him, make him fall apart. Yamaguchi felt so hot and achy and fuzzy already and he wanted more.

“N-no, I just- I don’t - “ he started stammering, searching his empty mind for a coherent sentence. When there was nothing there, he resorted to the only thing he was still capable of. Begging.

“Please, Kei, please-”

“Aw, desperate, are we?”

Yamaguchi tried to suppress his pathetic whining but failed miserably. His fingers, still holding onto the waistband of his boxers, were starting to twitch in need, he needed to touch himself so, _so_ badly but instead of just doing it like he usually would, he waited. Waited for the approval of a stranger. A stranger that enjoyed seeing him squirming and whining needily.

And Yamaguchi _liked_ it. Some twisted part inside of him _wanted_ Kei to keep him waiting. His body was screaming to be touched but the fuzzy, warm feeling that spread through him with each second he wasn’t touching himself was intoxicating.

“Ngh Kei, please – I, I n-need it, please,” he continued, voice pathetically whiny.

On the other side, Kei laughed. “You sound so pretty when you’re begging me, Nyx. What is it that you need? Tell me, I want to know.”

The fog in Yamaguchi’s head made it hard to think, but he got himself together enough to speak properly. “I need, ah- I need to touch myself, Kei, please, it’s aching so m-much and it’s not enough l-like this.”

That seemed to please Kei. “Mmh okay, go ahead and take them off for me Nyx.”

Yamaguchi never followed an instruction so fast. With shaky fingers, he finally pushed the restricting fabric down to his knees and immediately wrapped his hand around himself, hissing through his teeth at the long-awaited sensation.

His tip was already glistening with precum and the moan that slipped his lips when he started to spread it around with his fingers was loud.

“Aah Kei-“ 

He immediately bit his lip, trying to keep it down, and his breathing came heavy.  
  
“T-thank you,” he breathed out, as he worked himself faster, arching his back off the mattress and into the touch of his hand.

“You’re welcome, Nyx. Feeling good?”

“Y-yes, so, so good ngh-“

Kei chuckled again. “You definitely look like it. That’s what I wanted to see all along, you’re so pretty when you fall apart for me Nyx.”

Yamaguchi was lost at this point, whimpering and moaning at both the touch of his hand and the praise coming from the other side of the line. Every time Kei called him pretty, a new wave of satisfaction washed over him. He wanted to be praised more, be good for him, do whatever would please him enough to say that he did well.

The tingling heat in his lower half started creeping through the rest of his body and with every tug of his hand, Yamaguchi could feel himself getting closer. He mumbled and whimpered incoherent words, way too far gone to make sense of them. The only thing he managed to repeat over and over again was the name of the man that occupied his thoughts.

“Ngh Kei, I’m – fuck Kei, ah- c-close Kei please,“

“Please _what_ , Nyx? Do you want to come?” he asked, and Yamaguchi nodded frantically.

“P-please, Kei, please ngh- I need to, ah-“

The voice on the other side sounded dark and mischievous. “Beg me some more and maybe I’ll think about it.”

Yamaguchi whined. His orgasm was close, _so_ close and he had to force himself to slow down so he wouldn’t combust right then and there. “Kei _please_ ,” he started, biting off another pathetic moan. “I’m s-so close it hurts, Kei ah- please let me come, please, I’ll do anything-“

“Oh? Anything? Is that a promise?” The question had an evil ring to it, but Yamaguchi was too deep in his headspace that he couldn’t have cared less about the consequences. He needed to come, at whatever price.

“Y-yes anything, please, Kei, _please_.”

“Mmh, I like the sound of that. Go ahead Nyx, come for me. You’ve earned it.”

As soon as the words reached him, Yamaguchi sped up again, moaning and panting as he came closer to the edge. With Kei’s name on his lips, he finally tipped over as the orgasm ripped through his body like nothing he ever felt before. His entire body was shaking from the pleasure, twitching with each new spurt of hot cum that painted his chest and splattered all the way up to his face.

He felt like he was floating, disoriented and fuzzy, not quite catching up to the reality that he just had the most mind-blowing orgasm he had experienced in a while with a complete stranger on cam. And he wasn’t even mad about it.

Yamaguchi was still coming back to his senses when he heard Kei speak again, voice a little raspier than before. It was incredibly sexy, and he shivered once again.

“So good for me Nyx, you look so pretty all fucked out like this.”

“T-thanks,” he breathed out, still riding out the high of his orgasm. He lifted his head up from the bed slowly, running a hand through his messy hair, and for the first time since the beginning of their private call, Yamaguchi looked at himself on the screen again.

Fucked out was an understatement.

He was a _mess_.

His face was completely flushed red, blotchy patches of it going all the way down to his chest which was absolutely covered in cum. His eyes were half-lidded, lips plump and red from biting them continuously, and he noticed a few drops of stray cum dripping from his chin. 

Slowly, without making any sudden moves, he straightened himself up on the mattress, eyes hazy and far away.

“You okay there Nyx? Are you still with me?”

Kei spoke up again, and this time, all of the sexy raunchiness was gone from his voice. Instead, he sounded concerned. Yamaguchi nodded to answer his question, still slow, but it was there. He blinked a few times to clear his head and the world around him started to come gradually. When he felt like he had control of his body again fully, he smiled up apologetically at the camera and answered, properly this time.

“Y-yeah I’m okay. Sorry, Kei. That was just pretty intense.” 

Kei laughed softly on the other side. “Yeah, I saw.”

Yamaguchi exhaled with a sigh and flopped back on the bed, spreading his limbs out and just lying there. They were both quiet for a few moments until Yamaguchi broke the silence with a confession.

“I think that was the best orgasm I’ve had in a while.”

Kei’s laughter was back, and Yamaguchi soaked the pretty sound it up. “Well, aren’t you glad you accepted my offer?”

“Oh, definitely. Thanks, Kei, you really made my day. Or week. Or year.”

“My pleasure. Well, make sure to accept my next offer too and I’ll promise to make it even better.”

Yamaguchi smiled at the prospect of hearing him again. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

A comfortable silence fell between them and Yamaguchi just stayed there on his bed with Kei to keep him company. He usually tried to end private shows as soon as it was socially acceptable, but he found himself wanting to be in Kei’s presence just a little longer. Something about him was so intriguing, the deep, confident voice, the sweet praises he showered him with, the smart remarks, everything made Yamaguchi want to know him better.

But as it always is, good things must come to an end, and way too soon, Kei breaks the silence to bid his farewells.

“Well Nyx, I’m afraid I have to go for the night. Thank you for the good time.”

“No, no, thank you, Kei. I hope to see you around again soon.” Sure, he said that to all of his customers but never had he meant it this much.

“You will, no doubt. Goodnight Nyx.”

“Goodnight, Kei.”

And just like that, he was gone.

With a sigh, Yamaguchi forced himself to get up from his comfortable spot on the bed to turn off his computer and clean himself up. He was still covered in cum, sticky and messy and he desperately needed a bath. With his legs still a little wobbly, he made his way over to the bathroom and took his sweet time to shower himself clean before letting in a bath and sinking into the warm embrace of the water.

His body went completely boneless and for a while he just sat there, thoughts still circling around Kei. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself with thoughts about university or his weekend plans, he just couldn’t get him out of his head and a million questions swarmed his mind. What did he look like? How old was he? Was Kei his real name? And where the hell did he get the power to mess him up so badly on their very first interaction?

He had swept Yamaguchi completely off his feet without revealing anything about himself and it was equal parts terrifying and intriguing.

After finishing his bath and night routine, clean, warm, and wrapped in a huge fuzzy bathrobe, Yamaguchi made his way back to bed. It was late by now and he started to feel tired enough to curl up in his room and doze off. Once he was in his pajamas, he reached for the phone on his nightstand to check his notifications one last time.

A new message from Hinata, a handful of Instagram notifications, and –

His heart skipped a beat.

_Holy shit_

He had never in his life opened an email this quick before, despite his trembling fingers and a racing heart. When it finally opened the full text, he held his breath in nerve-racking anticipation.

_Dear Yamaguchi Tadashi,_

_Thank you for your application at Tsukishima Lawyers Tokyo. After reviewing your application, we are happy to announce that you have been selected for the student internship position, starting in time with the fall semester of 2020._

_On your acceptance of this offer, you can begin the internship with the company on 21. September 2020._

_We thank you for your interest in our company and look forward to working with you._

_Sincerely,_

_Tsukishima S._

He read the words over and over and over again until they registered in his brain.

He got accepted.

One of the most prestigious law firms in Tokyo - the entire country - _accepted_ _him for his internship_.

Yamaguchi buried his face in the pillow closest to him and yelled into it until his lungs were empty and he had to gasp up for air. The adrenaline was coursing through his body and it took him a concerning amount of time to calm himself down enough again to even consider sleep.

Just when he thought his day couldn’t get any better. Maybe Kei was his new good luck charm.

As he fell asleep that night, his thoughts circled back to the mysterious voice and he couldn’t have complained about it if he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings and welcome to this smut fest. I would be lying if I said I didn't write this for the sole reason of wanting to see closeted horny gay disaster Tsukishima fall fully for a post-puberty-confidence-boosted Yamaguchi. Enjoy. 
> 
> Some practical notes on this: I'll add the tags gradually so I don't spoil everything, please check beforehand. I'll also put any content warnings into the respective chapter notes in the future. I'll -try- to update biweekly, but don't be too harsh on me, please. 
> 
> Token Guide: 20 tokens = 1$ (if you squint, I loosely based this off the token system on chaturbate if I remember correctly)
> 
> love, miso <3
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/messymiso)


	2. You Can Handle It, Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!PLEASE READ FOR CW!!! 
> 
> hi y'all, I know i said I'd post biweekly literally two days ago but I got impatient and I have zero self control so enjoy: tsukishima's flirting is too much for poor yamaguchi's soul; and some weirdly sweet online aftercare. kind of. 
> 
> CW & PSA: this chapter mentions choking as well as hanging upside down which are both so, so, so (!!!) dangerous if not practiced safely. please be mindful of that not only when reading this but also if you should ever consider incorporating it in irl play. Hanging upside down for too long can literally cause unalive so - yeah. careful. anyways. moving on. 
> 
> let me know what you think and stay safe !
> 
> love, miso <3

Admittedly, Tsukishima might have made a mistake.

When he went through the student internship application of the semester with his father and stumbled upon an all too familiar face, he thought it was a _brilliant_ idea to push him to accept Yamaguchi Tadashi for their open slot. He had already made it to the very last round of applicants anyway, with excellent grades and even more excellent recommendations so it was merely a nudge in the right direction.

He _really_ thought it was a good idea. Now, once Yamaguchi was standing in front of him a few weeks later, eager and nervous for his first day on the job, Tsukishima realized that he had completely miscalculated. He hadn’t thought about just how hard it would be to concentrate when all that man did was blush and get nervous around him, constantly reminding him of all the other expressions he usually made when his face was this red.

And fuck did he blush a lot.

All Tsukishima could think of were the pretty sounds he knew Yamaguchi was capable of making and the even prettier body hiding under the tidy suit he wore to work.

When the secretary had led him into his office that morning, he barely recognized him. His dark, almost shoulder-length hair was tied back into a neat low bun instead of hanging down and his face lacked the usual smudged eyeliner he sported on cam.

And- well. He wore significantly more clothing.

“This is Tsukishima-san, he will be your supervisor during your internship. If you need any help, you can find me at the reception,” the secretary informed Yamaguchi in the door before she bowed slightly to both of them and left. The big office was filled with a heavy quiet for a second, Yamaguchi staring at him like a deer caught in headlights, but it didn’t take long for him to regain his composure.

With a few, long steps he was right in front of his desk and almost towered over Tsukishima, standing way taller than he would have expected of him. In one sudden motion, he bowed down his head in greeting - so far, Tsukishima was scared he would hit his head on the wooden desktop for a moment.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi - pleased to make your acquaintance, Tsukishima-san!”

Tsukishima bit his lip hard to keep himself from breaking out into laughter right then and there. The enthusiasm and tension his new intern was giving off were adorable, but, unfortunately, he had an image to uphold. So, with as much grace as he could muster up, Tsukishima arose from his leather chair and straightened up his back, unfolding his entire height.

“The pleasure is mine, Yamaguchi-san. Welcome.”

Slowly, Yamaguchi lifted his head and when their eyes met, the impact almost wiped Tsukishima’s lungs empty of air. He was _gorgeous_. His skin was covered in freckles, dotting his features like tiny little specks of stardust and Tsukishima had a hard time not reaching out to run his fingers over them, one by one, in an almost impossible quest to capture each in his memory forever. The bright daylight flooding his office from the windows behind him made the deep color of Yamaguchi’s eyes shine like polished onyx and-

_Oh._

Realisation hit him like a truck, and it didn’t help his mindset in the slightest.

_That makes sense now._

“T-thank you! I’m looking forward to working with you!”

Tsukishima bit his tongue back and nodded.

“Likewise. Take a seat, let’s discuss your time here, shall we?”

He used the seconds it took his new intern to settle in the chair across him to regain his composure. Yamaguchi deserved him to be at the top of his game, no matter how much Tsukishima’s brain screamed at him to do otherwise. He was smart, he was qualified, and he had worked extremely hard to be here. His attractiveness was just a little bonus.

“This is your first time interning at a firm, correct?”

A firm nod.

“Well, according to your CV you have excellent results and recommendations of your professors so you should have no trouble following the routines.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened slightly at the praise and he could barely make out the faint flush of color on his cheeks. He nodded again and lowered his head slightly. “Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

“For now, I’ll have you follow your colleagues around so you can get an overview of the different departments and get acquainted with everything. But that will probably bore you quickly, won’t it?”

“Oh- what? N-no, not at all I’d be honored to do anything I can-“

Tsukishima couldn’t help the grin on his face at the quick, sputtered answer. “Don’t be shy, I saw your transcript of records. You’re here for a reason, Yamaguchi. You see, I will take over a rather big case at the beginning of October. Officially, that is. And you-“

Their eyes met again properly and the wonderous expression on the other’s face struck right through Tsukishima’s heart.

“You’ll assist me through it.”

For a moment, Yamaguchi was silent. Then, a big smile spread across his face and he bowed his head down quickly, almost as concerningly fast as before.

“Thank you for this opportunity, that is a great honor, Tsukishima-san. I’ll put my everything into it.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less of you, Yamaguchi-san.”

When they left the office a few minutes later to make their rounds of introductions, Yamaguchi didn’t stray far from him. Even through the polite distance between them, he could basically feel the warmth radiating from his body, like a magnet that wanted to pull him closer. The faint smell of his _something_ tickled his nose every once in a while, and even though Tsukishima couldn’t place what exactly it was, he knew he kept wanting more of it. Wherever they moved, he could feel his presence and it was addictive.

_I definitely made a mistake._

\---

“Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t fucking freak out holy fucking shit-”

Yamaguchi knew that if anyone were to hear him like this, muttering to himself in one of the fancy bathroom stalls of the fancy building, drying his damp hands on the fancy toilet paper, they would think he was losing his mind.

_They wouldn’t be wrong._

Not a single one of his classes could have prepared him for the day he had lived through. Not only was the law firm so much more impressive than he first expected, with polished desks and leather chairs and big windows and glass floors and the prettiest receptionist in the entire world, every single one of his colleagues was intimidating as hell and Yamaguchi had trouble keeping up.

The countless floors, offices, faces, they all started blurring together at some point, as much as he tried to keep up and pay attention, it became increasingly harder to focus. And Tsukishima didn’t exactly make it easier for him.

Out of all the things, he just _had_ to have a hot supervisor. Of course. Because nothing was ever easy in his life. Yamaguchi secretly wondered what kind of deity he must have angered recently to deserve such a punishment. He couldn’t simply have a grumpy, old, and wrinkly man, or a strict, stressed-out woman in her midlife crisis as his boss, of course not.

Tsukishima was young and beautiful and smart, and _fuck_ did he look good in a suit.

The tall blond had not left his side once and as much as it was comforting to have a guide on his first day, he could have really done with a little breather. Which is how he got into this situation in the first place.

Admittedly, Yamaguchi had made it through the day with surprising consistency. No overly embarrassing mishaps, no stumbling over his words more than socially acceptable, and he was pretty sure he kept the blushing to a minimum. Until _that_ happened.

It was just coming on five o’clock, the glorious end of a hard workday in very near sight. Yamaguchi was standing in one of the spacious and tastefully decorated meeting rooms after a short briefing on tomorrow’s schedule, when Sugawara, one of the lawyers he had been introduced to that day, clapped his hands and excitedly expressed that “It’s time to officially welcome Yamaguchi-san to the company, don’t you think?”

Multiple voices across the room agreed, he even heard a small cheer, but none of these were in Yamaguchi’s field of perception. Instead, his eyes were immediately glued onto Tsukishima, standing behind the far desk on the other side of the room, still packing up his laptop from the meeting they just had. Their eyes met, and Yamaguchi could have sworn that he saw mischief brooding in the honey color.

“What do you think, Yamaguchi-san. Up for a drink? I promise you won’t regret it,” Sugawara suddenly chirped up behind him and it almost made Yamaguchi jump out of his skin.

_Shake it off._

“Of course, Sugawara-senpai. Is that a tradition?”

His colleague grinned up at him. “Something like that.”

As they packed up their things, people spilled out of the room one by one, flocking together in pairs and small groups, hurrying to get their coats and bags and keys to make the end of the day approach just a tiny bit faster. Yamaguchi was slowly heading out too, Sugawara close behind him.

“See you tomorrow, Tsukishima!” he chirped, and Yamaguchi stopped in his tracks.

“O-oh. You’re not coming?”

Tsukishima was in the process of putting on his coat, straightening the front down, and readjusting his glasses when he looked up at him. Sugawara said something, probably, but it didn’t really reach his ears. It sounded something like _never comes out_ and _doesn’t like bars_ and _don’t worry Yamaguchi-san_. But he was transfixed on the long legs that made their way over to him, expensive fabric moving over the muscles with each step, growing closer and closer until they were right there, next to him.

_Shake it off._

“Making assumptions without proof isn’t exactly what I would call a useful thought strategy for a lawyer, wouldn’t you think Sugawara?”

The heat radiating from Tsukishima’s body seeped through the layers of fabric, through the distance between them and right into Yamaguchi’s skin, goosebumps spreading all over his body like a gush of warm water, and he subconsciously held his breath.

“You _never_ come with us. I would be a pretty pathetic lawyer if I didn’t take that into consideration at all,” Sugawara huffed, something like a pout on his lips.

Tsukishima just chuckled and suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand was on his shoulder. It was warm and heavy and big, and then Tsukishima leaned closer and-

“I wouldn’t want to miss this.”

Yamaguchi’s brain short-circuited.

Before he could register what had happened, the burning hand on his jacket was gone and he was left standing there in the doorway, Sugawara looking -almost- as surprised as him.

“Well, that’s unusual...” he muttered to himself and Yamaguchi just nodded, following him out of the room on autopilot. As Sugawara headed to his desk, Yamaguchi quickly blurted out an excuse and speed walked to the bathroom, hot skin and heavy breath.

_Holy fuck._

He splashed some cold water on his face in an attempt to cool himself down before he hasted over to one of the stalls and shut himself in, cowering against the door.

“Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t fucking freak out holy fucking shit-”

What was _wrong_ with him? He had to get his shit together.

Tsukishima was the absolute _last_ person he should be developing a serious crush for. 

He groaned into his palm loudly and slapped his hands against his face a few times in a rather useless attempt to get some sense back into his head. He could do it. He had to.

_Get back out there and don’t you dare show him that he affects you._

It couldn’t be that hard.

\---

It was that hard.

Yamaguchi was completely overwhelmed by the number of people crowding him, bombarding him with questions and their loud chattering. Sugawara was no help at all. Quite the opposite actually.

“C’mon Yamaguchi-chan, one more!”

A lanky arm slung around his shoulder and a small dish was trusted in front of his face, drops of the sake spilling all over his chest on impact.

_My shirt ..._

“Senpai, I’m not sure I should be drinking much, what about work tomor-“

“Oh, hush and drink up. Sugawara-senpai will take care of things tomorrow, don’t worry your pretty head about it. Kanpai!”

Before he could react, Sugawara had already grabbed his chin with surprising strength and tipped his head back, cup pressed to his lips and then the warm liquid was running down his throat, the taste of alcohol tingling his tongue.

Cheers erupted from him and a few others as Yamaguchi righted himself up again, wiping at his mouth for any leftover sake his senpai spilled and, still a little confused by the sudden attack, hastily stumbled a few steps back from the crowd – until he bumped into a solid chest.

“You took that surprisingly well, Yamaguchi-san.”

The deep voice behind him made him jump, and an embarrassing shriek escaped from him.

“T-tsukishima-san! You scared me.”

He turned to look up at him and he was faced with a sly grin.

“Sorry about that.”

He didn’t seem sorry at all.

“They’re a handful, aren’t they?” Tsukishima nodded to Sugawara who was currently sharing a shot with another, extremely handsome man in a perfectly tailored suit and hair like he had only ever seen in commercials. He didn’t recognize him from the office, but they seemed familiar enough with each other.

“Yeah, kind of, I wasn’t really expecting,- “ Yamaguchi gestured helplessly, “- all of this. And I certainly didn’t plan on drinking tonight.”

Tsukishima chuckled and gleamed down at him. “That’s just what they do with fresh meat.” Then his tone changed, his voice darkening, and challenge glistened in his eyes.

“You can handle it, right?”

Yamaguchi swallowed. The condescending remark sent a shiver straight down his spine and he really, really shouldn’t find it attractive but no amount of denying could change the fact that he really, really did.

He nodded slowly, limbs feeling a little heavier than they did just a minute ago and he answered, voice sounding foreign.

“I can handle it.”

A wide grin spread over Tsukishima’s face and he looked satisfied with the answer. “I wouldn’t have expected anything less of you anyway.”

He turned away and all Yamaguchi could do was stare as he grabbed another dish and filled it to the brim with liquid, before raising it up to his eyes and cocking a brow in question. As soon as Yamaguchi nodded, slim fingers wrapped around his jaw, delicately yet firm.

Tsukishima was so incredibly close, eyeing down at him with an unreadable expression and Yamaguchi had no choice but to look up and wait like a deer in headlights.

He parted his lips almost instinctively, anticipating the warm liquid that flowed smoothly over his tongue and down his throat. A few missed drops hung from the corner of his mouth and before he could react, Tsukishima’s slender finger had already reached to wipe it away. Lost in his honey eyes, he could only watch as he brought it to his own mouth and sucked the liquid off, finger disappearing between his lips and coming back with a small _pop_.

Tsukishima hummed quietly as he leaned back but his eyes never left him. “Not bad.”

Yamaguchi has to remind himself how to breathe.

_Not bad indeed._

The rest of the night passed in a blur. He could feel Tsukishima’s eyes on him almost constantly, like a hawk watching his prey, plotting a masterful attack to capture him. His skin felt burning hot and the heat pooled uncomfortably in his stomach was most definitely not only due to the sake he’d been fed all night.

When he finally, _finally_ got home after an excruciatingly long train ride, he barely managed to toe his shoes off properly before he already stumbled towards his bedroom and collapsed against the bed in a pile of heat and sensitivity. His mind was overflowing with golden locks and slender fingers and honey eyes and the pulling within his body got worse and worse with every passing second.

Trembling fingers hastily switched on his camera, the image of his disheveled self blinking back at him through hooded eyes, barely illuminated by the screen and his nightlight. It was mostly out of habit when he clicked on the live button, he didn’t even have a stream scheduled for that night, but the steps were so internalized at this point, so deeply connected to his self-pleasure, that he didn’t think twice about it.

He barely paid mind to the camera, too hot and itchy and achy, the only thing on his mind getting his clothes off and himself filled up as soon as his shaky fingers would allow it. The scratchy suit pants landed in a pile on the floor in seconds and Yamaguchi sighed at the soothing feeling of his soft sheets against the bare skin of his thighs. His legs rubbed together subconsciously, desperate even for the smallest promise of friction and relief but it only made him needier and he whined to himself quietly.

The sound of comments and donations in the chat barely reached his ears. Maybe he should be saying something. But –

Hot. Itchy. Achy.

Shirt off first.

It took him an almost embarrassing amount of time to get all the buttons undone, but once he was free of the fabric prison, he breathed much easier and the fog around his thoughts cleared up just a little.

Lube. He needed lube. And his box. Fast.

One hand reached down next to his bed where he kept his supplies, blindly patting around the air above the floor until they caught onto the material and then the bottle of lube was in his hands and it spilled over his fingers and then he was lying there, presented for the world to see with his legs spread for the camera and two fingers buried deep.

He moaned and whined as relief flooded him and need grew at the same time, wiggling around in an attempt to get his fingers deeper and wider.

_More._

The third finger hurt. It really, really hurt and stung and burned, but he was addicted to the feeling, so he pushed further, deeper.

_More._

Yamaguchi reached for the box again and blindly grabbed the first thing that skimmed his fingers. It was one of his bigger toys, he usually took some more time to prep for it, but he couldn’t have cared less.

_More, more, more-_

He squeezed the bottle firmly and lube spilled onto it in one big messy blob. It slicked up the entire thing with a thick layer. It would do.

_You can handle it, right?_

Tsukishima’s words from earlier popped into his head and his mind went _wild_ at the memory. He immediately imagined himself in his boss’s big office, bent over the massive desk, caged in by slim arms and a tall body.

In his bed, Yamaguchi turned himself on his back and started sliding down on thick, long silicone. He thought about how damn tall Tsukishima was and how big he would be everywhere else and as his insides burned with the underprepared stretch, he repeated his words over and over and over. He could handle it. He wanted to handle it.

“Fuck ahh- “

He slid down all the way, eyes pinching together when the pain hit him, and he was pretty sure he could feel it bulging slightly against his stomach. It was good. It hurt but it was good. That’s what Tsukishima would feel like, right? Stretching him all the way. He could handle it. But –

_More._

He wanted more. Of course. His thoughts kept circling back to the long fingers on his chin and the craving for some warmth and pressure was overwhelming. He longed for hands on his face, on his neck, Tsukishima leaning over him and whispering to him how he was needy, so fucking needy. Yamaguchi wiggled around on the bed, the toy pressing inside him almost painfully uncomfortable, but in his haze, he went too far, and his head suddenly slid off the edge and then he was hanging upside down and

_Oh._

Blood rushed to his head immediately and it felt so fucking _good._

He already started to feel more lightheaded and his dizzy mind whined at the sensation. With eyes pinched together closely, he arched off the bed and pushed back down on the toy, fucking himself slowly and when he finally wrapped a hand around his weeping, neglected cock he couldn’t help but hiss out air. He was so sensitive; it was actually painful for a moment, but he was rewarded by a rush of pleasure almost immediately after.

Mind foggy, he whined and moaned and writhed around, thoughts empty except for elegant fingers and intense eyes. He could almost feel himself getting fucked by Tsukishima, hips bruising under the sharp edge of the desk and the grip of strong hands that push and pull him around like a doll, sliding on and off his cock.

The pressure in his stomach was overwhelmingly good and every thrust of his hips, up into his hand and down on the toy, flooded him with more.

_You can handle it, right?_

“Yes, yes, T-tsuki-“ he interrupted himself with his own moan.

One particular deep thrust of his hips brought him so close to the edge he gasped out and pulled his hand off is cock immediately.

_Not yet, not yet, not yet-_

A small part in his brain was desperately screaming at him to just keep going and tip over, but an even bigger part wanted to push him further. The Tsukishima in his head pinned his wrists down away from his weeping cock and growled into his ear that he expected more of him. Warned him how, if he wanted to be good for him, he would have to hold out a little longer. How he liked seeing him pathetic and wrecked and needy, twitching cock and stretched hole screaming for more.

Yamaguchi could only obey.

His cock twitched helplessly against his lower stomach and the ache inside almost drove him crazy. The only thing keeping him from going over the edge was the firm grip on his hand that Tsukishima had on him in his mind and the need to be good.

His vision was slowly going blurry with all the blood that had collected in his head, a constant state of light-headedness. Almost like –

In the office, Tsukishima’s hands wrapped around Yamaguchi’s throat and squeezed the sides tight. A strangled moan escaped his mouth and his breathing automatically got heavier, panting into the dark of his bedroom with desperate gasps of air.

The feeling was overwhelming. He only managed to rock down on his toy one more time before cum spilled all over himself with a pathetic moan and his entire body shook helplessly against the sheets.

 _Holy fuck I came untouched-_ was the last thought Yamaguchi had before the pressure in his head became too much and his vision blacked out.

\---

When Tsukishima arrived at his apartment that night, the very last thing he would have expected was an invitation to a private cam session from Yamaguchi.

He had barely made it home when his private laptop chirped up from his bedside table and notified him of the event. Curiosity and the constant uncomfortable tightness in his pants he had to deal with all day pulled him towards the screen.

Sure enough, there Yamaguchi was, rummaging around his bed in all his flustered and disheveled glory. Tsukishima sucked in a breath at the sight of him undressing hastily and spreading out in front of the camera, looking like the most beautiful thing in the universe.

Not once did he address the camera, and Tsukishima was increasingly confused about why he had invited him privately instead of going on a public stream. No matter the number of messages he typed and tips he sent to get his attention, Yamaguchi’s hazed over onyx eyes didn’t glance in his direction a single time and his question was left unanswered.

As incredibly entrancing it was to watch Yamaguchi come undone fully, most likely because of his own doing, Tsukishima couldn’t help the worry slowly overtaking the pride and arousal in his chest. When Yamaguchi’s head suddenly tipped over the edge of the bed and he hung there, upside down, Tsukishima’s anxiety spiked, and his stomach dropped.

“No, no, no…” he muttered to himself over and over, and he started panicking.

That was more than dangerous.

If Yamaguchi didn’t sit up any time soon-

He didn’t even want to think about it.

Tsukishima frantically started typing into the chat again, a desperate attempt to rip Yamaguchi out of his haze and at least get him to lay back on the bed. Hell, even falling on the floor would be better than staying in that position.

If he remained like that much longer, all the blood pooling in his skull could-

_Nope, don’t even think about that. Don’t panic. Stay calm, Kei. It’s gonna be fine._

It was not fine.

Live and in HD on the screen right before him, Tsukishima watched in horror as Yamaguchi moaned out and came all over himself – before passing out cold. His eyes rolled back into his increasingly flushed head and he hung off his bed like a doll.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what do I do what do I do_

Thoughts raced through Tsukishima’s head at an almost incomprehensible speed, and he checked off all of his possibilities.

He had to do something, _fast_. If Yamaguchi stayed like that all night, or any much longer than he already was really, it could end very, very badly. Tsukishima couldn’t rely on him having any possible roommates, and even though he had his contact details from the application, going to his place himself would be more than suspicious. Still, he had to do something.

A thought crossed his mind and he immediately went to grab his phone, opening it with trembling fingers and hastily scrolling through his emails to find the application Yamaguchi had sent their company.

_His phone number. I have his phone number._

Without wasting any time pondering over what to say to him if he picked up, or what to do if he had his phone on silent, or what to do if it was loud but he didn’t hear it like the stream notifications, Tsukishima clicked the number and held his breath.

His eyes didn’t leave the screen in front of him once while the number connected, and he thought his chest was going to burst when he could hear an obnoxiously loud sound through his headphones.

Thank _fuck_ it wasn’t muted.

_Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up_

The phone rang once, twice, three times.

Yamaguchi didn’t move, didn’t even flinch a muscle and Tsukishima felt his blood run cold. What was he going to do if he couldn’t get him to wake up? What if he made it to his apartment and couldn’t get in? What if he could, but it was already too late? He could _die_ and it would be his fault and he could never live with himself and-

On the screen, something moved. Tsukishima held his breath as Yamaguchi’s hand twitched ever so slightly until his head lolled to the side and his eyes pinched together. He was waking up. Thank god he was waking up.

It took him a few more rings to start moving, and he flapped his arms around the bed, probably in an attempt to localize his phone and shut off the annoying ringtone. But Tsukishima kept the call going, he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he saw Yamaguchi stand and be okay with his own eyes.

His flopping became a little more intense and then he was sliding off the bed and crashed onto the floor with a loud _thump_. Tsukishima couldn’t help but chuckle at the string of curses he could hear from him off-screen, “Motherfucker- Ouch! Fuck, what the fuck-“, and he took it as a sign of him being fully conscious at least.

Yamaguchi groaned from the floor, and when he sat up, he grabbed his head with a pained expression. He was probably having the worst headache of his life.

It took him another second to collect himself before he pushed up and waddled over to his nightstand and out of the camera view again. A moment later, the line finally connected.

“Shouyou, I swear if you lost your phone again, I’ll skin you alive and make a volleyball from the leather, I’m not –“

“Yamaguchi?”

Tsukishima could almost hear the eyes bulging out of Yamaguchi’s head. He had no idea who Shouyou was, but he seemed to deserve the threat.

“T-tsukishima-san?”

He could hear something rustling on the other side and it sounded like a nervous chuckle. “Yes, it’s me. I know this is an inconvenient time to call you, but I had to notify you about a sudden change in our schedule tomorrow and I wasn’t sure if you would check your emails in time.”

_Smooth, Kei, very smooth._

“Oh- oh, of course, thank you Tsukishima-san.” He audibly gulped on the other side. “I am _so_ sorry for picking up the phone like that, it was very unprofessional of me. I just have a friend who tends to lose his phone a lot and he calls from unknown numbers so-“

Ah, he hadn’t even thought about that.

“Nothing to worry about Yamaguchi-san. I thought it was quite amusing, actually. I apologize for calling you from my private phone out of a sudden, too.”

_It kind of was an emergency._

“Well, I don’t mean to keep you from anything,” he continued, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for a late change of schedule. “Meet me at our second office location tomorrow instead, we have a spontaneous meeting with our new client. I’ll email you the details in a minute.”

He was quite satisfied with that lie. When Yamaguchi showed up the next morning, he could just claim that the client canceled last minute. It wasn’t exactly uncommon with their range of clientele.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight Tsukishima-san.”

“Goodnight Yamaguchi.”

Tsukishima hung up and immediately could see Yamaguchi dropping himself back on his bed, slumping in on himself and, when he felt the probably sticky, half-dried mess on his chest, cringed back into a flat position again. He stayed like that for a minute or two, before, out of the blue, snapping his head to the camera. His eyes grew wide.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He got up so quickly he stumbled all over himself and almost fell flat on his face if he didn’t catch himself on his mattress.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, no, don’t tell me-”

Yamaguchi let out a string of curses as his eyes frantically skimmed over the screen, probably trying to figure out what happened while he was out like some mindless hormone zombie.

Tsukishima quickly let his fingers fly over the keyboard, typing out a message.

**[** **blank11** **]** **u okay nyx?**

**[** **blank11** **]** **had me scared there**

Yamaguchi sucked in a breath at the message and, a few seconds later, an invite for a voice connection popped up on Tsukishima’s screen.

“Kei? I’m-, I don’t know what happened, I think I passed out but -”

The stable voice he had on his phone call just a few minutes ago cracked, and he sounded upset, façade crumbling apart as the events caught up to him. His breath got quicker, more erratic. He was panicking.

“Breathe Nyx, you’re okay.”

Yamaguchi stopped in his tracks and just stared at the screen before he nodded and settled back on the bed. His shoulders sagged in and back up again with every conscious breath he took.

“That’s good, in and out, in and out. Keep going, just like that.”

It’s quiet between them for a while. Once Tsukishima was relatively sure that Yamaguchi’s breath was back to normal, he spoke up again.

“How’s your head?”

He grimaced. “Hurts. It really fucking hurts.”

Tsukishima sighed. “I bet. I was worried, you know. That can end very badly, I’m glad you woke up before anything happened.”

Yamaguchi swallowed and closed his eyes, massaging his temples. “I can’t even remember what happened. Or why I called you. Or how the fuck I managed to knock myself out like that; Jesus Christ.”

“I don’t know Nyx, but you seemed pretty out of it.”

He did know, of course, in excruciating detail actually, but he wasn’t going to admit that out loud.

“Yeah, today was-“ Yamaguchi hesitated. “It was a lot. But I guess this is my sign to stop flirting with my co-worker, huh?” He chuckled darkly and a pang of guilt popped into Tsukishima’s chest.

If he had known just how – _affected_ – Yamaguchi would have been from his teasing earlier, he wouldn’t have gone that far. He made a mental note to never, ever do that again without making sure it wouldn’t have any consequences. Still, it was just a little comforting to hear that Yamaguchi understood his actions as flirting, and nothing malicious.

“Oh, you have your eyes on someone? I’m jealous, Nyx, I thought you had a soft spot for me.”

That made him smile. “And you’ll always have that safe, Kei, don’t worry. He’s out of my league anyway.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widened.

_Me? Out of Yamaguchi’s league? Ridiculous._

“Nope, I don’t believe you. No one is out of your league. If anything, it would be the other way around.”

Yamaguchi cracked up laughing. “You think too highly of me, Kei. I just made myself pass out on my own dildo, I’m pretty positive there are more suitable candidates out there for him.”

“A very admirable achievement, if I may say so by the way.” That earned him a little smile and it warmed Tsukishima’s chest from the inside. But he had one more thing to say. His voice turned serious again and he straightened his shoulders even though Yamaguchi had no way of seeing him.

“But Nyx, promise me this, please.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t _ever_ do that again. You could have died if you didn’t hear that phone call, and I had absolutely no way to call you an ambulance like this. I was scared. Seriously.”

Yamaguchi looked like a kicked puppy for a second, but then he lowered his head with a sigh and nodded. “I’m won’t. Learned my lesson.” He fidgeted with his fingers for a second before he continued. “Sorry to make you worry.”

Tsukishima sighed audibly and Yamaguchi slumped together even more. “It’s okay, Nyx. Hey, lift your head up again, c’mon.” He obliged and beautiful dark eyes stared right at him. “I’ll forgive you if you promise me to stay safe in the future and not to try new things when you’re under it and alone.”

Yamaguchi nodded. “I promise Kei.”

He smiled. “Good.”

With a loud groan, Yamaguchi let himself fall back on the bed, all fours stretched out.

“Ughhhhhhhhhh,” he moaned, and Tsukishima chuckled.

“Long day, huh?”

“Fucking long day indeed. I need a shower and –“ he twisted his head to check the time on his phone and groaned again once he saw that it was already past midnight. “Sleep. I need sleep.”

Tsukishima agreed.

“As much as I really enjoy your company Nyx, I should probably let you go now. Unless you’re still feeling dizzy?”

Yamaguchi shook his head. “My head’s a little achy but ‘m not dizzy. Promise. I’ll hop under the shower and go straight to bed.”

He felt relieved at the admission. “Good, I’m glad. Talk to someone if you start feeling worse again though.”

“Yes, yes, I will.” Yamaguchi peeled himself up from the covers again and sat close to the camera again. “Oh, and Kei, thanks for staying through-” he gestured wildly with his hands, “all this. It helped. A lot.”

The warmth in Tsukishima’s chest exploded like an oil flame extinguished by water. He cleared his throat subtly to not give away the sudden strain in his voice before replying.

“Anytime, Nyx. Take care.”

Yamaguchi nodded enthusiastically and smiled at him with a wave of his hand. “You too. Goodnight, Kei! Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams.”

As soon as the connection ended, Tsukishima slumped down in his chair too, exhaustion finally catching up with him again. What a night. He grumpily dragged himself to bed, too tired to put his pajamas on, and just slid under the covers in his boxers.

Sleep came fast, but his dreams were anything but sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/messymiso)
> 
> love, miso <3


	3. Fuck. Fuck Indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! 
> 
> this took a little longer, but it ended up a whopping 14k words and I didn't know how to split it so you're getting it all at once - I hope it was worth the wait. 
> 
> CW! exhibitionism and phone sex but only kind of. a quick reminder here that it's all fun and games but only if a) the parties agree and/ (in some cases or) b) there's no actual harm in doing so. consent and safety baby! 
> 
> this is enough from me for now so go and enjoy hopeless disaster gay tsukishima kei. 
> 
> bon appetit

“Senpai, can I ask you something?”

Sugawara halted mid-bite and turned his eyes away from the bento in front of him in favor of giving his kouhai attention.

“Of course you can. What’s the matter, Yamaguchi?”

The two of them had grown pretty close over the few days since Yamaguchi joined the company, Sugawara immediately taking him under his wing as soon as he joined, and he was eternally grateful for him. They were sitting in the cafeteria to have lunch together as they usually did, but it was painfully obvious that both of them had other things on their minds today. While Sugawara kept glancing at a dark-haired in-house accountant sitting across the room, all Yamaguchi could think of was his tall, blond, illegally handsome, and ice-cold boss.

Who had definitely been avoiding him since his second day.

As soon as he had arrived at the other office location just a street down the main building, Tsukishima had barely acknowledged him, only exchanging as many words as absolutely necessary and, worst of all, thrown him constant glances only to pretend to look at the wall next to Yamaguchi whenever he tried to meet his eye.

It wasn’t _just_ painfully awkward though; it also stung his pride a little bit. Yamaguchi had thought that maybe, after their first night at the bar, Tsukishima would act friendly towards him, or even continue his rather obvious flirting attempt.

But no, nothing. Quite the opposite was the case.

_Maybe I scared him away._

_Maybe he was drunk and reconsidered and actually thinks I’m gross. Maybe he wants to fire me. Oh god, what if he wants to fire me-_

Yamaguchi sighed and pushed his thoughts away, swallowing nervously before asking the question that had been burning on his tongue for a while, almost whispering to keep his voice as quiet as possible.

“Is Tsukishima-san always like that?”

His senpai raised an eyebrow, unimpressed at his efforts of secrecy, and answered.

_Loudly._

“Like what? An asshole to any living being that dares to breathe the air around him? Yep,” he put emphasis on the last consonant, “always.”

Yamaguchi gasped out and immediately smashed a hand onto Sugawara’s mouth to silence him, glancing around nervously to make sure no one had heard them.

“Senpai, oh my God, you can’t just say something like that!” he whisper-yelled at him but the other man just laughed and shrugged him off.

“I’m right though, am I not?” Sugawara snickered out and continued to eat his meal but sighed and put the chopsticks back down when he saw Yamaguchi’s distressed expression. “Don’t worry, don’t worry, you’re not gonna get in trouble. It’s all good-natured banter. I’ve known Tsukishima since he started here, and _he_ knows that _we_ know that he’s a nice guy deep down.”

Yamaguchi exhaled and slowly started to relax again at that. He was thinking about what to say when Sugawara continued, his voice suddenly much more serious than just a second before. He sounded almost sad.

“He was only twenty-one when he joined the company, you know? That was three years ago now. I don’t think there’s anyone else in Japan who managed to graduate from the law school program as fast and as good as him. Probably the entire world. God knows how much he must have pushed himself to achieve that, it definitely wasn’t easy, that’s for sure.” Sugawara sighed, and then it was his turn to lower his voice.

“With a father like that, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s never actually talked to someone if it didn’t benefit his career before. Actually, I don’t think he’s ever done _anything_ that didn’t benefit his career before, really. He probably just doesn’t know how to.”

Yamaguchi’s heart dropped and he remained silent, processing all the information. Sugawara turned back to his food, but he merely picked at it before putting the lid back on and pushing the box away from him with a frown.

The cheerful mood between them had evaporated fully.

It was quiet between them for a while. They sat in silence, waiting as the cafeteria slowly started emptying, people wandering back to their desks.

“But –“

Sugawara suddenly spoke up, sounding much more hopeful and Yamaguchi attentively snapped his head up again.

“But it’s not like he isn’t trying.”

His senpai pushed back the chair he was sitting in and stood in one swift motion. He beamed down at Yamaguchi, every hint of the frown he had just been sporting wiped away by a wide, blindingly bright grin.

“I think he just needs someone to give him a push in the right direction.”

He winked at him, and then he was gone, leaving Yamaguchi behind completely dumbfounded.

_A push in the right direction, huh?_

He could do that. Probably.

Yamaguchi sat up straight and collected his lunch utensils, packing up slowly while thoughts whirred through his head at lightning speed. As he made his way back to his desk, he formed a plan.

Yes, he probably _did_ scare Tsukishima off on their first night, but after hearing what Sugawara told him, it probably wasn’t for the reason he first assumed.

Yamaguchi was many things, but he wasn’t a quitter. He’d slowly, but surely get Tsukishima to come out of his shell. He’d get him to open up. He’d get him to enjoy things. Not because it would be beneficial to his career, but because he wanted to.

And maybe, if he was lucky, he’d get him to like him back.

He could do that. Probably.

\---

Tsukishima was struggling.

Currently, he was hiding his face behind his scarf, desperately trying not to smile at the stupid, corny joke Yamaguchi just told him as they were walking from the office towards the bar down the block to meet the others. The past weeks had been hard on Tsukishima. He really, _really_ thought he had been successful in scaring him off with his naturally icy character, purposefully avoiding conversation and spending as little time as possible to him, but to no avail.

Yamaguchi was stubborn.

He followed him around all day, pretty much attached himself to him whenever lunch break approached so he wouldn’t be able to get away and even if Tsukishima remained silent through the entire half-hour, Yamaguchi would take no offence and instead fill the quiet between them with stories and jokes and remarks about everything and anything. 

Avoiding him was getting increasingly more challenging with each day they spent together, not only because Yamaguchi was unshakable in his resolve to stick to his side like he was glued on, but also because Tsukishima – and someone please murder him if he ever admitted to that out loud - grew attached to him with every passing minute they spent together.

Of course, he had already been infatuated with him ever since he laid eyes on the man the very first time, but every little detail he noticed about him just made Tsukishima fall even harder.

The way Yamaguchi fiddled with his chopsticks clumsily before a meal and seemed to drop them at least once, every time. The way he started to hiccup whenever he was cold. The way he got extremely embarrassed about those hiccups and turned as red as the dollop of chili-paste his bento included, every single day without fail. The way he attempted – and failed – to be subtle about checking his hair in the reflection of every other car or windowfront they passed, even though it looked flawless either way.

Tsukishima was quickly approaching the point of no return and it was equal parts terrifying and – again, someone please murder him if he ever admitted to that out loud - exciting.

Yamaguchi was tirelessly working to break down the walls he continuously built around himself, but as Tsukishima was already starting to slow down, Yamaguchi had only started picking up the speed.

“You know I can see you smiling, right? You’re not exactly doing a good job at hiding it. Maybe you should work on your poker face before we go to court next week,” Yamaguchi giggled next to him and he just turned his head away grumpily, sinking down further into his scarf.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” he grumbled back, but he knew it didn’t sound mean at all because Yamaguchi just laughed harder at him.

“Yes, yes, sorry Tsukishima.”

They continued down the streets in comfortable silence and Tsukishima would be lying to himself if he didn’t enjoy the warm and steady presence next to him. Yamaguchi was comforting, and as much as he was absolutely _terrified_ of getting too close to him, especially after the disaster that was the first night they spent together at the bar which ended in a way he really wished it didn’t, he kind of wanted to reach out and just, maybe –

Yamaguchi stopped abruptly in front of a shop front. “Ahh finally. Come on, hurry, I want to warm up!”

A hand grabbed his sleeve and then he was being pulled inside so fast that he couldn’t duck his head in time, the half curtains in the bar’s entrance brushing over his face awkwardly. Tsukishima ran a hand through his short hair and pushed his glasses back up, not only to put everything back in place but also to allow himself to mentally prepare for whatever was waiting for him behind the doorway.

There was a reason he never went to these things after all.

“Suga-senpai! Here!”

Yamaguchi was stretching on his tiptoes, arms waving above his head to get the man’s attention from across the seating area. Many faces turned towards them at the noise and Tsukishima had to avert his gaze to not get overwhelmed. If there was one thing he didn’t like, it was attention. Not like this, anyway.

Already turning halfway again, he lightly touched Yamaguchi’s wrist who looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“Coat.”

A smile spread on his face as soon as he understood, and Yamaguchi wiggled out of his winter jacket before laying it over Tsukishima’s already outstretched arm gently. The soft expression warmed his chest from the inside out, and he couldn’t help but let the corners of his own mouth do the thing they so desperately wanted to do.

“Thanks! I’ll go get us some drinks, find me at Suga’s table in a minute?”

Tsukishima nodded, and before he knew it, Yamaguchi had vanished into the crowd already. He sighed quietly and headed to the little nook in the entrance that held coats and umbrellas. Carefully not to wrinkle the nice dark blue fabric, he hung it up before shrugging off his own jacket and finding a spot for it right next to Yamaguchi’s.

They looked like they belonged next to each other. He wondered what they would look like on the coat stand of the entrance to his own apartment.

Slowly, he made his way back into the main room of the bar. He wasn’t exactly keen on spending extended amounts of time surrounded by people, but he’d be able to cope if he could stay next to Yamaguchi’s calming presence. Over the past weeks, he had grown much more accustomed to interacting with the others outside of the company, joining them for after-work drinks once a week rather than – well. Never. Yamaguchi was having a good influence on him.

He just wasn’t sure whether the same could be said the other way around.

As he approached the table, Tsukishima steeled himself for the night. He was familiar enough with Sugawara, and between him and Yamaguchi, they would keep the conversation flowing comfortably. The only problem was that, once he slid in the booth across Sugawara, Yamaguchi was nowhere to be seen.

Instead, he stared into the face of no other than his mortal enemy.

“Oikawa.”

He spat the name out with as much disgust as he could muster up but decided against pulling a grimace. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Oikawa straightened up at the sight of him and leaned on the table, propping his head on his crossed hands and tilting it with a slimy smile he sported whenever their paths crossed.

“Oh, if it isn’t my dear Tsukki-chan? What a surprise! I wasn’t aware that you started mingling with the commoners since I last saw you. Did you hit your head?”

Sugawara laughed from beside him and slung an arm around Oikawa’s shoulder. “Don’t be such a meanie Tooru, we should be celebrating that he’s here in the first place,” he turned towards him and winked. “Right, Tsukishima?”

He just exhaled and sunk lower into his seat, waiting for someone, _anyone_ , to put him out of his misery. “Where’s Yamaguchi?”

“Mh? Oh, I think he’s still waiting at the bar,” Sugawara replied, and he followed his line of sight towards the group of people crowding the counter, Yamaguchi right in the middle of it.

For a second it was quiet between the three of them before Oikawa let out a chuckle and pointed a slim, perfectly manicured finger towards him, eyes glistening with mischief.

“Ohhh, I see how it is now. Tsukki-chan has a crush on Pretty-Intern-kun,” he turned his head towards Sugawara who just hid his own smile behind his drink. “Aren’t I right, Suga-chan?”

“Your senses are as sharp as ever my dear Tooru,” he agreed.

_A crush._

_Is that what it is?_

“You’re not denying it, Tsukki-chan?” Oikawa prodded, but Tsukishima didn’t bother even looking at him again. Instead, his eyes were glued onto his _crush_. Apparently. Yamaguchi was speaking to a tall man with an atrocious dye job and an even more atrocious tank top on. In winter. His instincts told him to go over and interrupt them, but he reminded himself of how feisty Yamaguchi could be if he wanted to, so he stayed put. He could take care of himself. Still, he kept his gaze fixed on them, even when he finally decided to reply to the man who had been mustering him from across the booth with great interest.

“I think it’s quite a waste of time to deny the obvious, wouldn’t you agree Oikawa?”

He finally peeled his eyes off of Yamaguchi when the man across him started sputtering from the other side of the table, probably choking on his drink because he started coughing so heavily that Sugawara had to slap his back a few times. Tsukishima couldn’t help the amusement curling his lips up into a smile at the sight.

When Oikawa regained his breath – unfortunately, which meant he’d inevitably have to deal with him again in the future – and Sugawara was relieved of his asphyxiation-prevention duties, he turned to him and eyed him with an unreadable expression.

“That’s a bold statement, Tsukishima. Are you sure about that?”

Before he could answer, a glass filled to the brim with golden liquid was placed in front of him and Yamaguchi slid into the booth right next to him, pressing up against his side with his right shoulder, effectively forcing him to scoot over further and make room. He beamed up at Tsukishima and asked, “Sure about what? What did I miss?”

Tsukishima took a second too long to reply, still stunned by Yamaguchi’s sudden appearance, but Oikawa jumped right at the opportunity. “Just our dear Tsukki-chan telling us all about his-“

“- my definite victory against you last time we met in court, isn’t that right Oikawa-san?”

Oikawa’s expression soured and stuck his lip out in a pout, but he just threw him an angry glare back. Yamaguchi looked between the two and then glanced to Suga, obviously confused about their exchange.

“You know each other?”

Sugawara nodded and slapped a hand on Oikawa’s back, with almost as much force as just a minute ago. “Yep! Tooru and I went to law school together back in the day, but that stupid traitor chose a different firm to apply to once we graduated.” He pulled his ear. “What a bastard, right? Leaving me on my own like that…”

“Shut up Kou-chan, if you came to Seijoh you would have never run into Thick-Thighs-kun and then I would have never heard the end to your complaints about being the only attractive person in the company. But-, “ he threw a look at Yamaguchi, “you don’t have to worry about that anymore, isn’t that right Pretty-Intern-chan?”

Yamaguchi’s face flushed and he started stammering. “P-pretty-, _what_?” He helplessly turned to Sugawara, but he just shrugged and agreed.

“He’s not wrong, you know? Even though the nickname is quite the mouthful. You definitely used to be better at those, Tooru. Weak.”

“Oh, stop it, I was under pressure. Why doesn’t Tsukki-chan suggest something better instead?” Oikawa leaned over the table and stared right at him, challenge gleaming in his eyes. “You pride yourself on your quick thinking, don’t you? Why don’t you prove it to us?”

Tsukishima clicked his tongue disapprovingly and sat back, arms crossed. He knew he was just getting egged on but refusing to answer would make him look pathetic. And, needless to say, Tsukishima hated being looked down upon.

So he looked at Yamaguchi. _Really_ looked at Yamaguchi.

Technically, Oikawa’s nickname wasn’t wrong. He _was_ the pretty intern. But he was so much more than that.

Tsukishima let his eyes drift over Yamaguchi’s face who started burning up immediately under his gaze and tried turning away - but Tsukishima was faster. He reached out to hold his chin between his finger and thumb and keep him in his field of vision, which made Yamaguchi turn crimson in embarrassment. With the red face, his freckles, and the dark tuft of hair on his head, he kind of looked like –

“Strawberry.”

Silence fell over the table as they all turned to look at him in disbelief.

Tsukishima dropped the hand from Yamaguchi’s face and sat back again, waiting for a reaction impatiently. It was a good nickname, right? He looked just like the fruit. Red, spotted, sweet.

He hadn’t said anything wrong – right?

Sugawara was the first to regain his composure and, of course, started laughing at him.

“O-oh my god, Tsukishima,” he managed to get out between wheezes, “You’re a genius.”

Oikawa just raised an eyebrow at him but even he couldn’t hide the amusement on his face. “I guess you win this round. He does look like a strawberry. Strawberry-kun.” He tilted his head as if he was thinking it through a few times, and then nodded. “Yep, Strawberry-kun it is.”

“Tooru, not fair! Now you gotta come up with something better than Thick-Thighs-kun, you can’t just keep calling him by- “

He was interrupted by Yamaguchi.

“Bathroom. Sorry, I’ll uhm- I’ll be right back.”

The table fell quiet once again as they watched him rush away towards the back of the bar, almost knocking another table’s glass over on the way.

“Great job, Tsukki-chan. That’s what you get for trying to be better than me.”

Tsukishima couldn’t muster up the energy to reply.

\---

Oikawa and Sugawara had fallen back into a comfortable conversation since Yamaguchi had left the table, but Tsukishima couldn’t have cared less about whatever they were bickering about. His thoughts circled through the conversation over and over again and he tried desperately to see where he had gone wrong. The nickname hadn’t been offensive, right? He hadn’t meant any harm at all, so why did he run away like that?

No matter how many times he twisted it back and forth in his head, the answer never came to him, and it started to annoy Tsukishima.

He sighed to himself quietly. This was exactly why he kept his distance from people. Yamaguchi very likely hated him now, with how fast he left and how long he’d been gone. Tsukishima glanced at his phone and frowned when he saw that five minutes had passed already. What was taking him so long? Was everything okay? For a moment, the idea of checking on him crossed his mind, but he dropped it again on second thought. He would probably just end up making everything even worse.

Tsukishima grumpily grabbed the glass in front of him and started sipping on it slowly. He didn’t even like beer, but he didn’t have the heart to tell Yamaguchi otherwise earlier. He could handle a little bitter water. Tsukishima was about to let himself fall back into the thought cycle of _why the fuck_ Yamaguchi had acted so weirdly when Oikawa’s voice ripped him out.

“Oh wow, would you look at that? Seems like Strawberry-kun found himself a hunk. Get it Strawberry-kun!”

He whipped his head around to the back of the restaurant as fast as he could and, sure enough, there he stood. With Tank Top Guy. Tsukishima bit back a curse.

Is that why he took so long in the bathroom? Had they flirted at the bar earlier and was that why he left all of the sudden? Was he the reason Yamaguchi had reacted that way?

Of course. And why wouldn’t he? As questionable as that guy’s fashion sense was, he was objectively handsome – even if it was in an entirely different way than himself. If _that_ was Yamaguchi’s type, muscular build, and dyed hair and piercings and tattoos and reeking of overly masculine confidence, how could he ever compare? He was plain at best. Boring at worst.

Tank Top Guy was just a little shorter than Yamaguchi, but he seemed to practically tower over him nonetheless, covering him almost entirely from their view with an arm around his shoulder.

“Uhm Tooru, I don’t think he's-,“ Sugawara started, concern in his voice, and that’s when he saw it. Yamaguchi twisted his head out of Tank Top Guy’s arm and looked over to them, an almost panicked expression on his face.

_What the fuck._

Anger spread through Tsukishima and before he knew it, he had gotten up and crossed the bar floor in the blink of an eye. As he approached them, Yamaguchi’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing reached his ear.

 _Calm. Calm the fuck down Kei._

He shouldn’t be causing a fight; he knew better than that. Even if he really, really wanted to.

It only took a few more long strides until he towered behind them, and a sense of satisfaction flooded him when he realized just how much taller he was than Tank Top Guy. At least he had something over him. Sensing his presence, the man turned around slowly, dragging Yamaguchi with him by his shoulder.

_Don’t punch him. Don’t punch him. Don’t punch him._

“What the hell do you want?”

Tank Top Guy eyed him suspiciously from below, but Tsukishima’s eyes were glued onto Yamaguchi, silently observing his state. He seemed to be okay, just overwhelmed by the situation. Still, he was angry. What had that guy done to him back there?

Without even acknowledging him or his question, Tsukishima reached out to Yamaguchi silently and offered his hand to him. “Come on, I was wondering where you were. The others are waiting.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes reflected confusion for a moment, but he took his hand nevertheless, gripping it firmly and stepping towards him. Away from Tank Top Guy. Who didn’t seem to like that at all.

“Hey, what the fuck man?” He hissed up at him before turning to Yamaguchi, gripping his shoulder even tighter and he stiffened under his touch. “Don’t just leave like that, Freckles. I bet I can show you a better time than he ever could, eh? C’mon, give me a chance here.”

Yamaguchi’s hand cramped up in his and before Tsukishima could say something, he whipped around and effectively wiggled out of Tank Top Guy’s grip. “Don’t fucking call me that,” he spat out and stepped away, halfway behind Tsukishima. “Leave me alone, Terushima.”

Leaving both of them completely stunned at his outburst, Yamaguchi spun around and started walking back to their table, pulling Tsukishima along with him without as much as a glance back. Not that he was complaining. Any longer in that guy’s presence and he probably wouldn’t have been able to contain his anger anyway.

As soon as they were back at the booth, Yamaguchi slid into the seat all the way to the wall, before slumping into himself with a sigh. Immediately, Sugawara leaned over the table and mustered Yamaguchi with concern.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

Yamaguchi sighed heavily but just waved him off. “It’s okay, he’s just been a little- well, _aggressive_ with his approaches. I’ll stay away from him in the future.”

Tsukishima scoffed. “That seemed more than just a little to me. He shouldn’t be here anymore; we should get him kicked out. I’ll talk to the staff and-”

“No!” Yamaguchi interrupted. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to cause a commotion and that would just make him angrier. Let’s leave it, I won’t let him get close to me again. Learned my lesson.”

From the other side of the table, Oikawa shook his head disapprovingly. “As much as I hate to say it, Tsukki-chan is right. Someone like him shouldn’t be here. And, if we play our cards right, it would give me an opportunity to talk to Bartender-kun over there,” he winked, and immediately, he and Sugawara fell into a discussion over whether he meant “Thick-Biceps-Bartender-kun” or “Tall-Grumpy-Bartender-kun”, leaving the two to themselves.

Yamaguchi smiled up at Tsukishima, but he could tell that it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He leaned over closer and eyed him with concern, saw how his hands intertwined in his lap, fiddling with the fingers, his foot tapping lightly. Carefully, Tsukishima reached out and placed his hand over Yamaguchi’s, stopping him in the motion.

“Outside?” he suggested, and Yamaguchi nodded softly. They left without another word, but Tsukishima couldn’t help but smile when he felt a hand grab the back of his shirt for security as they maneuvered the crowded bar floor.

_Cute._

The air was ice cold outside, but it helped calm Tsukishima’s racing mind down a lot. Next to him, Yamaguchi was rubbing his hands together and breathed over them, only to watch the cloud of condensed air evaporate through the night sky. When it was gone, he turned towards him, with a smile on his face. This time, it was genuine.

“Thanks for earlier. You really saved me from Terushima,” he said, quietly. “He was starting to get pushy.”

Tsukishima pulled a face. “Yeah, I could see that.” It made Yamaguchi laugh, even if it was just a little, and the sound warmed him from the inside out. He nudged him with his shoulder. “Want to talk about it?”

He got a sigh in return, but a few moments later, Yamaguchi started talking.

“He’d been hitting on me for the past weeks, almost every time we came around after work. It started with a few awful pick-up lines here and there, nothing serious really, but he just wouldn’t get the hint. I told him off at the bar earlier but when he saw me leave the table he followed me to the bathroom and –“

He hesitated and Tsukishima’s stomach tightened in both fear and anger. If he as much as laid a single finger on him, he would go to the end of the world to make sure he would never ever be able to move a muscle again.

Yamaguchi must have sensed his shift in mood, and he reached to put a warm hand on his arm, along with a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, he didn’t do anything. Just dropped another awful line and tried to convince me to give him his number. He did try to drag me back to his seat, but- oh well. You came to save me, didn’t you?” Yamaguchi beamed at him and as much as the anger at Terushima still stirred inside him, the sight of seeing him cheerful eased his temper by a lot.

Tsukishima turned his head away, half in embarrassment, half in an attempt to hide the overwhelming amount of emotion flooding him, and crossed his arm in front of his chest defensively. “Just be careful around him next time. Stick around Suga or me. Just don’t rely on Oikawa. He’s a dick.”

Yamaguchi giggled. “Yes, yes, I understood that much by now. You two don’t seem to get along very well, do you?”

He snorted and shook his head. “That’s putting it lightly. He hates my guts. And I’d be lying if I said the feeling wasn’t mutual.”

“What happened between you two?”

Tsukishima sighed and leaned against the wall, the cool bricks against his back making him shiver. “The law firm he works with is a sort of rival company to ours. When we work with high profile clients, we often end up representing opposing parties. Oikawa’s extremely ambitious and he never ever loses a court case. But neither do I,” he smirked down at Yamaguchi who giggled at his confident statement. “So you can imagine how that’s been going the past few years.”

That earned him another soft chuckle. “I can indeed. He works with Seijoh, right? I uhm-,“ he hesitated for a second, but then continued. “I actually applied to them too. For the internship.”

“Oh god. Imagine how that would have gone.” He straightened his back and pushed his hair back, mimicking Oikawa’s stance and hand gestures. “Intern-chan, how does my ass look in these overpriced designer pants? Intern-chan, what will I do when Tsukki-chan wins again today? Intern-chan, please arrange a funeral for my dignity!”

Yamaguchi sputtered out into a laughing fit so hard he had to lean against the wall to catch his breath. “Oh- oh my god Tsukki-“ he managed to get out between wheezing, and he couldn’t help but chuckle along.

_Cute._

Mission: Cheer Yamaguchi Up - Accomplished!

\---

When Tsukishima got home that night, he actually felt happy.

Even though the Terushima-incident was still sour in the back of his head, Yamaguchi had seemed happy for the rest of the evening, telling him stories about his high-school friend – _the one who keeps losing his phone, remember?_ – and laughing over his jabs at Oikawa. He had excused himself after a while to return back home, claiming he was tired in front of his colleagues, but little did he know that Tsukishima was well aware of the actual reason he headed out early.

It was Wednesday.

And just like every Wednesday, Tsukishima eagerly made his way home to scarf down food, peel himself out of his suit and get comfortable with his laptop.

Wednesdays were reserved for spoiling Yamaguchi. Which was, undoubtedly, one of his favorite things to do.

His infatuation with him, or rather Nyx at the time, had started when Kuroo and Bokuto suggested he should get laid every once in a while, to _loosen up_. Well, their exact wording was much closer along the lines of “Tsukki, can you get laid already, we’re tired of waiting for the stick you’ve carried in your ass the past years to slide out on its own,” but he was okay with paraphrasing a little in this particular instance.

Since actual hookups were, well, intimidating to him to the say the least, his friends had compromised by providing him with a link to a cam website. The very same cam website Yamaguchi used under his alias.

It was love at first sight. Kind of.

Until that point, Tsukishima had only ever really seen sex as a chore. He considered it exhausting to get off, and the thought of being intimate with another person was less than unappealing to him. He had figured out the whole sexual preference thing a while back in middle school, but that happened more due to the process of elimination and less by actual interest.

Which was why, when he created a profile that night, his hopes of having a life-changing experience just by looking at some live porn, were low. Extremely low. He scrolled through the suggested videos, eyeing the thumbnails suspiciously and only ever staying on one stream for a few seconds before moving on to the next.

They were so boring. The same fake expressions, fake moans, even fake orgasms sometimes, over and over again to the point where it almost grossed Tsukishima out. That was until he got stuck on one particular stream.

Nyx, the username said, and his screen displayed a young man who was sprawled out on a comfortable looking bed, only illuminated by purple-tinted neon lights - and a glow-in-the-dark butt plug.

It looked ridiculous. It looked so ridiculous it actually made Tsukishima huff out something like a laugh and he was about to move on to the next video when the man on camera started giggling too.

“Oh man, I bet I look ridiculous, huh? Wait, does it make my dick glow too?”

He twisted around on the bed so he could eye himself better in the camera, inspecting himself. And his dick.

“Do you think they make glow-in-the-dark sounds?” he wondered out loud and for a while, he just joked around with the people in the comments, coming up with different ways to illuminate his junk.

For some reason, Tsukishima just couldn’t get himself to move on. Somehow, the man had caught his interest and he wanted to see where it was going. He was attractive too, lean body, tanned skin, long and dark hair, and one of the prettiest faces he had ever seen. His dark eyes were rimmed with black liner and Tsukishima faintly wondered what it would look like if it smudged.

That was the moment he knew he was damned.

Over the following weeks, he kept coming back for more, even though he told himself time after time that he didn’t need to, that he only did it out of interest, only to prove a point.

After a few months though, he couldn’t even remember what point he wanted to prove anymore.

So what if he was kind of head over heels in love with a man who was way out of his league and who he would probably never meet outside of his laptop screen? So what if that man awakened a side in him he never even considered before? So what if he kept sending him heaps of money, spaced out over streams to not be overwhelming, but to ease his own mind that he got paid as much as he deserved?

And so what if, when the face of that very man appeared in the final round of his father’s internship application selection, he may or may not have pointed out a specific recommendation letter that may or may not have convinced his father to choose him over the other applicant?

So what if he was a little bit selfish?

It was something like his first love after all.

Opening the website and clicking on Nyx’s profile almost felt like a ritual at this point. The stream was filling up with views and comments were popping up steadily, even though Yamaguchi was still out of sight, probably rummaging around his room for something he would need later on.

 **[CherryChan** **]** **ahh im so xcited**

 **[CherryChan** **]** **nyx come out wherever ur hiding**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **tonight is gonna be fun i can tell already**

Some of the regulars started talking among themselves to pass the time, but Tsukishima usually stayed out of that. He wasn’t here for them. The only thing he wanted to focus on tonight was Yamaguchi.

When he finally appeared on screen, Tsukishima held his breath and by the momentary halt of comments, he could tell the others had the same reaction. He would never not be stunned by the transformation Yamaguchi underwent between work and coming online, but tonight especially knocked him out of his boots.

 _Holy fuck._

Yamaguchi was dressed in a sheer cropped top, a thick leather collar that connected to his singular nipple piercing with a thin metal chain but what knocked Tsukishima’s air out of his lungs was the short, pink skirt that swished around his legs with every step he took towards his bed. Black and white striped socks went up all the way to his thighs, squishing the skin on top together just right when he sat down at the edge of the mattress and ran a hand through his loose hair, smiling at the camera.

“Surprise! What do you guys think?” he asked the camera, leaning forward to read the comments and the view was entrancing.

 **[CherryChan** **]** **IS THAT A SKIRT OMG IM LOOSING MY MIND**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **this is even better than expected**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **sent 100 tokens**

 **[CherryChan** **]** **afsjksfykacbuqwiya**

 **[CherryChan** **]** **sent 50 tokens**

 **[xHentaiSenpai4298** **]** **damn nyx**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **Such a good boy Nyx, it suits you just as well as I imagined it would**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **sent 500 tokens**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **Keep it on today, yeah?**

„Thank you so much for the present, mommy! Of course I will,” he exclaimed and shifted higher onto the bed to show off the skirt and thigh highs more easily. “Everyone better say thank you to Ruby-san! She sent me this pretty set in the mail and I finally received it today, doesn’t it look great?”

The comments flooded with thank-you’s and why-didn’t-I-think-of-that’s at Ruby, but Tsukishima just stared at the screen, completely transfixed on Yamaguchi. He never understood the obsession over the schoolgirl aesthetic many of his old high school classmates had, fawning over girls and their stockings and skirts and the little patch of visible skin, but now that he saw it on what had to be the most beautiful person on the planet, it all became clear to him. The little pudge of thighs between the hem of the skirt and the top of the high socks looked so invitingly soft and he would do anything to reach through the screen and run his fingers over it. Maybe his mouth.

“But that’s not all my loves, I have another something for you.” He scooted back until he had enough room to kneel on the mattress, the skirt spread out over his thighs and dipping in between. Slowly, he reached for the hem and pulled it up to his hip, revealing the edge of white lace fitting snugly over his skin. As soon as his fingers skimmed the fabric, he let go of the skirt again and waited, twisting a strand of hair around his finger lazily, while waiting for the tips to come in.

Tsukishima was curious. Really, really curious. Which led him to send a thousand tokens. No other reason, really. Just curiosity.

Of course, he was by far not the only one who dropped tokens for him, but apparently, Yamaguchi always kept an eye out for his username to appear because his face lit up immediately.  
  
“Ooh, thanks a lot Kei, that’s very generous of you.” He smiled brightly at the camera before winking. ”So you haven’t had enough of me yet?”

 **[** **blank11** **]** **never nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i thought that was obvious by now**

He got a little giggle in return, and then Yamaguchi clapped his hands together with determination. “Ready to take a peek?”

Yamaguchi bounced back on his bed, unraveling his tucked-in legs and spreading them out slightly in front of him. He pulled in his thighs slowly, and inch by inch, his skirt slid up, revealing more and more skin, until it bunched up around his waist and exposed what he had been hiding underneath.

Tsukishima’s breath caught in his throat.

He was pretty. So, so pretty. He never knew a dick could look so appealing.

Wrapped up in white lace, tucked in perfectly like a present begging to be ripped open. When Yamaguchi spread his legs further, the dark base of a plug revealed itself, and excitement spread to Tsukishima.

“See, the skirt wasn’t the only thing I got in the mail today,” Yamaguchi announced and flipped himself on his stomach to give a full view to his smooth back decorated with lace and stockings. The black plug looked weirdly out of place, contrasting against the white and pink, but that just made him more curious to see what was so special about it. He knew Yamaguchi had others in his collection, one studded with a purple crystal and another one with a little heart-shaped stopper, so this definitely wasn’t there for the aesthetic.

He had something planned for tonight.

“I’ve been waiting for this _forever_ and it finally arrived. It’s a special remote-controlled plug and – “ he was interrupted by a massive amount of comments and tips flooding his notifications and he chuckled. “I guess you guys already figured out where this is going, huh? Today’s auction will not only give you name rights, but it will also allow you to control my humble self. In all and any ways you can imagine.”

Yamaguchi winked into the camera before seductively pushing his hips up halfway off the bed and turning back around to face his screen. Every single one of his movements was smooth and fluid and elegant and entrancing and Tsukishima was entirely swept off his feet. The way his dark eyes, once again accentuated by black kohl smudged around his waterline, blinked up into the camera was like he was piercing right into his soul and Tsukishima just _had_ to have it. He had to have _him_.

_Mine._

Just the thought of someone else getting their hands on him made him sick with anger and jealousy and he was determined not to lose. He started typing hastily.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **how much nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i’ll pay any price you name**

Protests popped up in the chat, but he didn’t give them as much as a glance. His attention was fully on Yamaguchi, who seemed to be thinking hard. Tsukishima took it as a positive sign, but when he addressed the camera again, it was not the answer he had hoped for.

“Oh Kei, that’s sweet of you, but where would be the fun in that? If you want me so desperately, you’ll have to fight a little harder than that. C’mon, I know you like a challenge, don’t you?”

Well, ouch. Tsukishima bit his tongue and cursed quietly into his empty bedroom. Admittedly, it was a smart move of Yamaguchi, and he should have seen that coming from a mile away. It was the same tactic he used the first time he asked him into a private call, and he was well aware by now that the experience of his audience was his top priority along with making as much profit as possible. And maybe deep down, he liked to see Kei struggle just a little bit.

If he had to guess, he was almost completely sure that Yamaguchi had a sadistic side buried deep behind his sugary sweet, seductive vixen persona and the thought tingled all the way through Tsukishima’s body.

Huh. Apparently, he wasn’t too opposed to the idea of that.

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **sent 2000 tokens**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **you’re already mine tonight nyx what do you say, you give your all to me and mommy will take care of you**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **sent 4000 tokens**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **i don’t think so ruby**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **what about it nyx? i’ll promise you a good time**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **you don’t stand a chance**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **I raise to 5000 tokens**

It went on like that in the chat for a little while, Yamaguchi commenting on the fight every once in a while, giggling through the whole process, and observing the bidding until it started stalling around the 8000-token mark. Which was what Tsukishima had been waiting for.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **sent 9000 tokens**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **please nxy?**

“Someone’s desperate for me tonight, huh? I didn’t know the great Kei could say please,” Yamaguchi teased, and an amused smile was directed at him through the camera. It went straight to Tsukishima’s dick.

_I definitely liked that._

_Please be mean to me more._

_Oh my god, I’m pathetic._

**[** **blank11** **]** **i’m not ashamed to admit that nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **you’re one of a kind after all**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i’d do anything for you**

And that wasn’t even a lie.

He could see a faint blush on Yamaguchi’s cheeks, but before he could answer, that annoying guy from earlier made a reappearance.

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **I raise to 9250 tokens**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **you can’t beat me with flattery kei**

Tsukishima clicked his tongue in annoyance. How dare he mock him like that in front of Yamaguchi.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **maybe not with flattery**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **but with money**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **sent 15000 tokens**

Yamaguchi’s mouth dropped open and he stared at the screen for a second in disbelief.

“Oh my god, Kei-“ he whispered quietly, more to himself than to his audience, and satisfaction flooded Tsukishima at the reaction.

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **fuck off you bastard**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i may be a bastard but at least i’m a rich bastard**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **who happened to beat you**

For a moment, neither of them said anything and Tsukishima grew increasingly nervous with each second that passed. Did he say the wrong thing? Had he crossed the line?

 **[** **blank11** **]** **as long as you agree with that nyx?**

On the screen, Yamaguchi seemed to finally snap out of his state of surprise and an unreadable smile spread on his face. It wasn’t like the usual, blindingly bright one he put on, no. This smile was much softer.

“I guess that means we have a winner, guys. Congrats Kei. I hope you enjoy the show.”

 **[** **blank11** **]** **no doubt I will nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **thank you**

The next few minutes, Yamaguchi instructed him how to download the app on his phone and connect it to the toy with a hidden code he sent to him in a separate private chat, and just like that, he had the power in his hands.

“Go on, try it out,” Yamaguchi encouraged through the screen and, carefully, he pressed down on the regulation, turning it onto the lowest setting to test out the waters. Immediately, Yamaguchi tensed on his bed and gasped out loud, legs pressing together and face tinting a pretty pink shade.

“O-oh, that’s stronger than I thought it would be,” he breathed out, still tense, and Tsukishima was extremely happy with the outcome. This would be fun.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i only just got started nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **are you sure you can handle it?**

It took Yamaguchi a moment longer to read than usual, and he pouted slightly even though the flush intensifying on his cheeks said something else.

“Of course I can take it!”

Oh? Yamaguchi was being feisty. He knew how to fix that. Just as he opened his mouth to say something else, Tsukishima slid his finger across the screen gently, and set the toy up a setting.

“You shouldn’t underestimate me K- aahhh!” Yamaguchi couldn’t help the moan that interrupted himself and his breath became heavier as he obviously tried – and struggled - to regain his composure. “Fuck, oh my God.”

 **[** **blank11** **]** **what were you trying to say, nyx?**

“Keiiii,” he whined, and Tsukishima’s lower body throbbed at the sound of his name. Yamaguchi wiggled around on the bed, spreading his legs far and revealing the now soaked pair of lace panties underneath his skirt, his hard dick straining against the fabric and the tip peeking out from the top, flushed and glistening.

The chat was exploding with jealous remarks and it flooded Tsukishima with pride and satisfaction.

 _Mine._

“Kei, please-“ he gasped out and Tsukishima couldn’t help but bite back a groan. He sounded so good like that and he would give anything to hear him make these sounds for him only. Preferably right here in his bedroom.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **please what, nyx?**

It took him a little while again to read the message, but once he did, he was already whining again in embarrassment and arousal.

“Can I touch myself please?”

A slightly evil thought crossed his mind, and he started typing quickly.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **what do you think?**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **should we let him?**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **oh so now the bastard wants to share**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **let him beg a little longer**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **it’s what he does best, don’t you think?**

 **[CherryChan** **]** **don’t be mean to nyx guys!!! he clearly had enough already**

 **[xHentaiSenpai4298** **]** **nope absolutely not, you're just too nice cherry chan**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **let him suffer for all i care**

“Kei, say something please,” Yamaguchi groaned, his thighs moving on their own accord in an attempt to relieve at least a bit of the pressure he must be feeling.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **you heard them nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **beg a little better and maybe you can convince them to change their mind**

“Nghhh you guys are so mean, you have no idea how -ahhh, how intense this thing is.”

Yamaguchi’s expression was scrunched up and focused, probably struggling with keeping his hands where they were. The fabric of his panties rubbing over him with every pathetic little thrust of his hips probably didn’t help much. Quite the opposite.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **as much as I love the lace, I think you should take it off nyx**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **absolutely**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **if you leak any more you’re gonna ruin them baby boy and we don’t want that now, do we?**

As much as he usually didn’t like Ruby’s possessive obsession over Nyx, he did have to agree with her on that point. Yamaguchi seemed to listen to her, and it was good to team up sometimes, even if it probably made things worse for him.

Yamaguchi hastily followed the order as soon as he read the messages and finally revealed himself fully, his dark red tip leaving glistening spots of precum on his lower stomach. Tsukishima wanted nothing more than to run a finger through it and push it between Yamaguchi’s lips, only to kiss the taste out of his mouth again.

_Mine._

Without thinking about it twice, he turned the toy up two settings at once and watched with joy as Yamaguchi basically jolted up from his spot on the mattress, legs shaking. He yelped out and struggled to catch his breath, moaning and writhing around to escape the inescapable.

“Kei, Kei, fuck, please stop,” he started babbling, and Tsukishima already moved his finger to turn it off again, but it was too late.

Yamaguchi’s moan shook him all over, hands holding onto the sheets desperately, but it was no use - hot white cum sprayed all over his chest, seeping into the sheer top and dripping onto the pink fabric, and all Tsukishima could do was watch him, transfixed on the sight.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, I didn’t mean to do that-“ he cursed, helplessly staring down at himself.

The comments went wild, but Tsukishima’s brain had short-circuited. Yamaguchi came. Because of him. Just because of him. Of course, he had seen him orgasm before on countless streams, but this time it was truly by his hand alone. Tsukishima had yet to fully comprehend what just happened.

“Ughhh Kei, that was too much, I wanted to keep going,” Yamaguchi whined through the screen and he felt a pang of guilt. He didn’t mean to take it so far or ruin his stream tonight. He really hadn’t expected him to be that sensitive.

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **hah look at that**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **i knew you shouldn’t have let him win**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **stupid bastard**

Tsukishima rolled his eyes at the insulting comment, but deep down they kind of made him doubt himself even more. He seemed to just keep messing everything today, from making Yamaguchi run away to ruining his show. Maybe he really wasn’t made for this. He was about to type something back when Yamaguchi spoke up with a voice that oozed annoyance.

“Leave him alone already! He didn’t do anything wrong at all! How was he supposed to know that I was super sensitive today when I didn’t even realize myself? Kei did what I asked of him, that gives you no right to call him a bastard!”

_Oh._

_Being protected feels nice._

_Yamaguchi is so cool._

_Anger looks good on him._

_Please get angry at me too._

**[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **ugh whatever**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **stick up for your stupid boyfriend for all I care**

 **[** **mr_hubbyx** **]** **fuck you and fuck him too**

And with that, he left the chat. Fucking finally. The relief made it easier for him to get back to typing, and it was about damn time he spoke up again.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **thank you nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **I’m sorry**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **I didn’t mean to take it that far**

On screen, Yamaguchi sighed, but he didn’t seem upset at all. “It’s all good, don’t worry. He’d been bothering me for a while anyway, maybe I finally got rid of him like that.”

 **[** **blank11** **]** **still, I apologize**

“No need to be so formal after giving me one of the best orgasms of my life, Kei,” Yamaguchi giggled up to the camera with a little wink, and Tsukishima felt his cheeks burn up.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **well I’m happy to hear that**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **can I make it up to you in any way?**

That got Yamaguchi visibly thinking. “Welllll,-“ he eyed himself in the screen, probably doing a once over of himself. “How far did you get on the app?”

Tsukishima threw a glance at the controls and counted the settings before typing his answer.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **4 out of 6**

A mischievous grin spread on his face and he reached up for a lock of his hair again, twirling it around like they do in the movies. He licked his lips slowly before suggesting his plan.

“What do you think, Kei- are you up for round two?”

_Holy fuck._

Yamaguchi would be the death of him.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **for you?**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **anytime**

Yamaguchi fell back on the bed with a chuckle and took a few deep, controlled breaths before clapping his hands together and peeling himself up from the covers again. He slowly twisted out of his now ruined mesh top, careful not to get the fabric caught in the chain dangling from his neck before pulling his socks back up to his mid-thighs. One of them had been holding onto his knee for dear life, but the other one was long gone and down his calf.

The only piece of clothing remaining was the skirt, and even though it was splattered with cum, he hesitated to take it off. Yamaguchi threw a glance at the camera before addressing Ruby.

“May I take it off please mommy? It’s all stained and wet now,” he lifted the fabric and held it into the direction of the screen as if to prove what was obvious anyway.

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **if it feels uncomfortable take it off baby boy**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **it was fun while it lasted**

 **[GoddessRuby3** **]** **put it on again for mommy some other time though**

As soon as he read the message, Yamaguchi sighed in relief and exclaimed a cheerful “Thank you, mommy!” before hurrying to strip the skirt off, leaving him almost bare.

He was a sight to behold.

 _Mine_.

The thought had crossed Tsukishima’s mind so many times that day and he was starting to think that he should probably be doing something about that soon. Being possessive over Yamaguchi without actually being _with_ him would only lead to more uncomfortable situations and misunderstandings. Maybe he should ask him out. That was what people usually did with someone they liked, right?

He was pretty positive Yamaguchi liked him enough to at least consider the offer. The way he interacted with him was similar to the way he behaved around the others, open and cheerful, but there were a few things that he had noticed that he only did around Tsukishima. For one, he stuck to him like no one else, spending most breaks around him even though he just as well could have accompanied the others for lunch, offering to stay with him for overtime, or insisting on walking him to the second building even though he really didn’t have to.

Then there was the touching, the physical proximity he kept looking for. It was subtle at first, a hand lingering on the file he handed over a second too long, a nudge with the shoulder when he tried to get into a seat, a brushing of arms when they walked too closely together outside.

And it only got bolder from there. Tsukishima vividly remembered the day they were forced to take the elevator with a group of students visiting the company, huddling in like a herd of sheep and effectively trapping the two of them in the corner of the enclosed space. Yamaguchi had been pressed up against his chest, back fitting against him snugly and Tsukishima was almost entirely sure that he hadn’t imagined the subtle tilt of his head back against his collarbone, resting there until the crowd was gone. When they finally emerged from the elevator, his face had been flushed and he wouldn’t meet his eye for the next hour. Yamaguchi seemed to search for his touch wherever he could find it, and Tsukishima would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it.

His thoughts flashed back to the fist grabbing into his shirt earlier that evening, the warm hand that pulled him around, the shoulder nudge. He wasn’t just imagining these things, right? There had to be something there. And he was determined to make it clear once and for all.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d ask.

Right now, he had more pressing matters to attend to.

In front of him, Yamaguchi had picked up the show again, tugging on the chain connected to his nipple bar and chatting with the audience. His chest was flushed the same pretty pink color as his dick which was resting against his stomach half-hard again, still glistening with leftover drops of cum. He looked much more like a model straight from a magazine than someone who had just come all over himself just a mere few minutes ago.

Tsukishima was not complaining.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **how are you feeling nyx**

He quickly typed in the chat to check on him, which felt like an obligation by now. He seemed dandy and fine, but he still wanted to be a hundred percent sure he was okay to keep going and wasn’t forcing himself for the audience.

Yamaguchi smiled brightly at the message. “Very good actually, Kei, all thanks to you!” He winked.

Tsukishima took that as a good sign.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **are you okay to keep going?**  
  
“Absolutely. I was starting to think you were already getting tired of-“

Tsukishima pressed down on his screen and shifted the toy onto the second setting right away, earning him a surprised yelp from Yamaguchi who once again tensed up and pressed his legs together out of reflex.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i told you nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i’ll never get tired of you**

“Ah- I-“ he started, breath already heavier again, “I believe you K-Kei ah, fuck-“

The whiny words out of Yamaguchi’s mouth gave Tsukishima a rush of satisfaction and flooded him with power. He felt like being bold.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **are you sure you can last longer this time nyx?**

On screen, Yamaguchi pouted. “It’s all because of y-you, meanie. Be gentler, I’m sensitive!”

Tsukishima chuckled but obeyed, turning the setting down to the lowest vibration again and Yamaguchi visibly relaxed, the muscles of his stomach and legs unclenching from their cramped position.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **think you can behave yourself like that?**

He nodded vigorously _._ “Definitely. I’ll be good this time, Kei.”

A thought made his way into his head and an idea formed, mischievous and evil. 

**[** **blank11** **]** **that’s a bold statement my dear nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **if you’re so confident in your abilities, go ahead and prove it**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **touch yourself if you can handle it**

The chat agreed with him, challenging Nyx and egging him on with teasy remarks. Yamaguchi complied with a confident smirk, but it was wiped off his face as soon as he wrapped a hand around his flushed, now hard cock. He winced at the touch and had to bite his lip at the feeling of a probably completely oversensitive dick. 

**[** **blank11** **]** **already regretting it?**

Yamaguchi shook his head, fighting through the feeling with a determined face, and started to tug on himself gently. He hissed out a long breath but relaxed a few seconds later once he adjusted to the feeling. The confident smirk was back.

“You won’t see me backing down this time, Kei. I can handle whatever you throw at me. Just watch me!”

_Careful with your wording Yamaguchi. You might regret it soon._

A plan had formed in Tsukishima’s head over the past few minutes, and as evil and risky as it was, his hazy brain was too weak to protest against it. At that moment, it felt like the best idea he ever had.

As he was watching Yamaguchi working himself up again, rocking his hips against the steady slow vibrations and tugging on his chain every now and then, Tsukishima carefully tested whether the app he used to control the toy would keep running if he opened a new application.

And god bless overpriced sex toy companies because it really did.

Tsukishima felt a new rush of excitement as he opened his contacts and scrolled through them until he stopped at the name he had been thinking about all day, pressing the bright green call button without giving himself time to regret that decision. He waited a few seconds, impatiently staring at the building connection – until he heard the ring through the screen. Lucky.

Yamaguchi jolted at the sound and panic struck his face, hesitating for a moment on what to do. His eyes glanced between the phone on his nightstand and the camera in front of him a few times, gears visibly turning in his head, and Tsukishima almost felt bad for him.

Almost.

He quickly switched back to the app to have it open whenever he needed it before swiftly typing in a message in the chat.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **come on, pick it up nyx, don’t be shy**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **you said you’d behave yourself, didn’t you?**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **good boys always answer the phone**

“Ughhhh-“ he groaned out, but caved in after another moment of contemplation. “This is important, so I’ll mute myself in case I say something I shouldn’t. And you Kei- don’t be mean. I mean it.”

Yamaguchi pressed a few keys, and then he was muted for the stream. Then he threw him a death glare through the camera with the intensity someone who currently had a vibrating silicone plug in his ass shouldn’t have been able to convey, but it hit him nevertheless. Tsukishima watched as Yamaguchi hurriedly crawled over the bed to reach for his phone, sighing one more time before picking up.

_Sorry, Yamaguchi._

“Tsukishima?” he asked through the phone and the new proximity of his voice knocked him out of his boots.

“Ah, Yamaguchi. Sorry for calling again so late,” he forced out of himself, trying not to sound too strained. The pressure in his pants had been bearable so far, but out of all the things he’d seen today, apparently hearing Yamaguchi so close and personal was what finally made him cave in.

With a quiet sigh, he loosened the strings of his sweatpants with one hand and slipped it in, suppressing a hiss as he finally wrapped warm fingers around it his aching dick. Suddenly, he understood the grimace Yamaguchi pulled earlier. It was bliss, but painful at the same time.

“N-no worries,” Yamaguchi exclaimed from the other side, and Tsukishima could see him sit on his knees with a straight back as if he was back at the office. _Cute._ Not for much longer though.

“Was there something you needed to talk about?” he asked, and Tsukishima went through the conversation he prepared in his head earlier.

“Well-“ he tightened his fist and started moving into it slowly, fully concentrating on Yamaguchi’s breathing through the line. “I just wanted to check up on you, really. You left early and I wanted to make sure you got home safe and didn’t run into Terushima again.”

Which was only a half-lie. He would have seriously been worried if he didn’t have the live proof of him sitting safe and sound in his bedroom right in front of him. But Yamaguchi didn’t have to know about that.

“Ah, thank you Tsukishima, that’s n-“

On his bed, Yamaguchi shifted around as he spoke and it must have hit the spot inside him well because he sucked in air sharply, interrupting himself. Tsukishima grinned and pushed his free finger down on the screen to increase the intensity. He wasn’t here to play nice.

“Ah!” The moan slipped out, and instantly, Yamaguchi flushed red in embarrassment. He coughed to cover it up, but Tsukishima had a full view of everything going on so there was no way to hide. “T-that’s nice of y-you-“ he stammered out, breathing heavily to keep himself under control.

Tsukishima put on a concerned voice. “Are you sure you’re okay Yamaguchi? You sound a little-“ he paused to watch him squirm on the other side, “off.”

“N-no! I’m okay, definitely okay,” he burst out quickly and it was seriously adorable. Still, it wasn’t enough for Tsukishima yet. He wanted to see him squirm, writhe, suffer just a little bit more. Careful not to drop his phone, he typed a quick message in the chat.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **who said that you could stop touching yourself nyx?**

Yamaguchi’s head snapped to the screen at the sound of the notification and he stalked closer on his knees to read it, only to whine quietly at the order.

As he wrapped his hand back around his weeping cock, Tsukishima spoke up again, catching the moment he breathed in sharply. It sounded heavenly, and he bucked into his own fist a little harder.

“I’m glad, Yamaguchi. I hope you had a good time tonight nevertheless.” It was hard to keep his voice as calm as usual, but he guessed Yamaguchi wasn’t paying too close attention to it. His face was scrunched up in concentration, one hand slowly stroking himself while the other gripped his phone so hard the knuckles started turning white.

_Not enough._

Without warning, he turned the toy up another setting, watching as Yamaguchi flinched together with a whine. His hand stilled at the base of his cock, squeezing tightly, probably to stop him from going over the edge.

Immediately, Tsukishima turned it back down on setting two to give him a breather, but as soon as he relaxed again, it was back up a notch. And this time, it would stay that way.

“I- I did,” he breathed out, voice shaky under the strain of not trying to moan. It was delicious to watch. “Did you-“ he covered another oncoming moan with a cough, “Did you too, T-tsukki- ahh fuck!”

Tsukishima may or may not have let his finger slip up to setting four for a second.

Yamaguchi was panting by now, but he bit his lip and kept talking. “S-sorry, I uhm, I stubbed my toe.”

A very smart lie, he had to give him that.

“Take care Yamaguchi. And yes, I did have a good time, thank you for asking.”

“Good, ’m glad,” he whispered out, hand on his dick starting to move again and Tsukishima had to hold back a snort at that.

Needy bastard. He was probably enjoying this just as much as him.

Well, if that was the case-

“Well, I don’t want to bother you. I’ll see you tomorrow, Yamaguchi.”

“No, no you’re not bothering me –“

His finger went up to the fifth setting and this time, no self-restraint could have stopped Yamaguchi from cursing out. His whole body shook, and he curled in on himself.

“K-kei, ahh wait!” he whined out, and the sound went straight to his groin. Tsukishima sped up his own hand, caught in the moment until he saw just how heavy Yamaguchi’s breath had gotten and he quickly turned down the toy to two again, not willing to let him go over the edge yet. And then there was the name thing.

It was risky but-

“Oh, we’re on first-name basis now? Well if you insist, Tadashi.”

 _Smooth, Kei_ he thought to himself.

On the screen, Yamaguchi was visibly thinking about that question. He was still breathing heavily, flushed and a little sweaty by now, and Tsukishima decided that he would help him out a little. He had been doing so well tonight after all. He quickly added, “How’d you know that’s my name?”

It took Yamaguchi another second to reply, but he caught himself with an impressive will. “O-oh, it must have been on a file or something, I-“ he started stammering, “I’m sorry, it just, it just kind of slipped out, Tsukishima-san.”

This time, he couldn’t suppress the chuckle that went through him. Yamaguchi was so good, so sweet, so smart, and it warmed his heart. He was truly head over heels for him. He should wrap this up soon so he could give him the reward he deserved and let him relax for the night.

With one more click, he turned the toy off completely, so he could tell him goodnight and mean it. Relief washed over Yamaguchi’s face and that was all he needed as reassurance.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind at all. If you want to, you’re welcome to call me Kei.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened, and the blush on his face grew more intense, this time not exclusively caused by his arousal. “Y-yes! I’d like to. Call me Tadashi, please.” Yamaguchi hesitated, before continuing, “Ah- maybe not at work, what will the others think? Is that too unprofessional? Tsuki-, uhm Kei, I’m not sure-“

He stammered on for a while and Tsukishima just let him, smiling fondly at the screen in front of him, feeling all warm and giddy. 

_Cute._

“Don’t worry your head about it, Tadashi, we’ll figure that out some other time. I’ll let you get some sleep now, okay? Goodnight.”

“Yeah okay, Kei. Goodnight! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that, he hung up the phone.

Tsukishima sighed and slumped back against his pillows, watching as Yamaguchi did the same. For a moment, the possibility of Yamaguchi connecting the dots between him and the Kei from the website worried him, but he had not seemed to realize who was hiding in plain sight that moment. He had a quite common given name after all. That was a conversation for another time.

Yamaguchi went to unmute himself from the chat and stared at all the comments and tips he had gotten through the call with wide eyes. His audience seemed to enjoy the view. And so did Tsukishima.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **that was quite something, nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **never expected you to be an exhibitionist**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **not that i’m complaining**

“Kei, you really put me in a situation there, Jesus fuck me. You’re mean. And you didn’t even make me cum yet!” Yamaguchi complained with a pout, and Tsukishima chuckled. His reaction though, as well as the way his dick was still hard and bouncing against his lower body, were indication enough that he hit another target on the kink list.

For both of them.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **you did really well there nyx so I think you deserve a reward now**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **ready?**

He got an eager nod back and in an instant, he managed the remote-control app and his toy was back to setting three. Yamaguchi yelped at the sudden shock and leaned back on one elbow; legs spread wide on the mattress.

“Ahh fuck ‘m so sensitive,” he whined out, but he reached for his cock anyway, stroking it slowly at first but speeding up almost instantly. Tsukishima did the same, finally focusing fully on his weeping, neglected cock that had been oozing more precum than probably ever before. It felt good to finally sit back and watch, thrusting into his own hand at the same speed Yamaguchi was setting.

In mere moments, the man on screen was a panting mess, finally being able to be as loud as he wanted without restrictions, and he seemed to make up for every bitten back moan with double the amount of whining and begging. He was at the edge in record time.

“Kei, ahh- I’m, I’m so close, please,” he mumbled, repeating words over and over again, and Tsukishima was happy to comply. He quickly typed out a permission, knowing Yamaguchi wouldn’t go over without getting confirmation first, before reaching for his phone.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **come any time you want nyx, you deserve it**

The comments were filled with encouragements and me-too’s, and Tsukishima was no different. With one final press of his screen, he surged the control all the way up and Yamaguchi screamed out, shaking legs and quivering muscles, cum bursting from his flushed red cock and covering him all over. A moment later, Tsukishima followed, groaning into the sleeve of his shirt to muffle himself and not cry out like Yamaguchi just did.

The feeling that washed over him almost knocked him over, and it took him a moment to reoriented himself. What ripped him out of his haze was Yamaguchi’s pleading voice.

“-ei! Kei! Turn it off, oh my God please!”

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-_

He fumbled with his phone, trembling fingers moving as fast as they could and he almost dropped it in the process, but he finally managed to turn it off, Yamaguchi slumping onto his bed bonelessly just a blink of an eye later.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i’m so sorry oh god r u okay**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **nyx?**

No reply.

For a second he was scared he had made himself pass out again, but then he heard a groan from the bed and Yamaguchi slowly made his way towards the laptop.

“Oh my goooooood-,” he whined, and Tsukishima could not agree more. Still, now that the post-orgasm haziness was gone, anxiety crept up his spine again.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **nyx are you okay?**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **did i hurt you?**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i really didn’t mean to**

Yamaguchi chuckled and waved a tired hand. “No, no, don’t you worry. I actually had a great time. Phone call and all. Very exciting. But I’m realllllyyy drained now, Kei-“

He stopped in his tracks at the name and then Yamaguchi’s faced crunched up in concentration, gears spinning behind his forehead. “Kei, huh?”

_Don’t think too hard about it, please-_

Yamaguchi shrugged. “Common name for people my age, right? I had tons of Kei’s in my year at school. Which means-“ he dragged out the word like his revelation was an award announcement, “I figured out that you’re around my age. Correct?”

_Thank god for horny brain Yamaguchi._

**[** **blank11** **]** **probably**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **unless i’m secretly a vampire that lived through a whole name cycle**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **but i guess you’ll never know**

Yamaguchi clicked his tongue. “Mean, Kei. You’re really mean, you know that? One day I’ll get back at you. Vampire or not, you better prepare yourself!”

 **[** **blank11** **]** **big words for a mere mortal**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **well, i’m glad you had a good time because so did i**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **take care nyx**

“Is this your form of aftercare? Because if it is, that’s kinda weak.” Yamaguchi laughed out, and even though Tsukishima knew he was just joking, it did kind of sting him a little. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to properly take care of him. It was just extremely hard to do so when he was bound by a screen and a fake name.

 **[** **blank11** **]** **i do what i can my dear**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **if you want me to stick around until you’re done cleaning I will, you know that**

It might have been his imagination or a play of light, but he was pretty sure he saw Yamaguchi’s cheeks tint just the softest shade of pink. “T-thank you, Kei. It’s okay, really, I’m feeling fine. I wouldn’t be doing this if I dropped easily. It’s appreciated, though.”

 **[** **blank11** **]** **you’re welcome**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **let me know if you need anything nyx**

 **[** **blank11** **]** **you did great tonight btw**

“Thank you, thank you. So did you, really. I liked the remote control, maybe-“ he trailed off, lost in thought. He hoped it had something to do with a possible next time. “Well, I better get going now. Goodnight Kei! See you around!”

 **[** **blank11** **]** **goodnight nyx**

The stream shut off and his laptop darkened, leaving him alone in his room.

He really was head over heels.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d ask.

_Just please say yes._

\---

As soon as Yamaguchi entered the office building the next morning, Yachi caught him at the reception and waved him closer.

“Morning, Yachi-san. How are you?” he inquired, and she gave him a nervous smile.

“I’m fine, thank you. I uhm-,” she hesitated for a second and that look made him uneasy. Really uneasy. Something was up.

“Tsukishima-san asked me to send you straight to his office. He wanted to talk to you about something in private,” she finally admitted, and Yamaguchi felt his chest restrict at the message. Why would he want to speak to him first thing in the morning? He was going to see him all day anyway, so –

_Oh god._

Panic crept up his spine and he turned to Yachi nervously. “D-did he say what it was about?”

She bit her lip visibly, shrinking down even smaller than she already was, and that was not a good sign at all.

_Oh god, this is about last night._

_He’s going to fire me._

“He didn’t tell me anything, I’m sorry Yamaguchi-san,-“ she trailed off, fiddling with her fingers only to drop them again and swallow heavily. She went on her tiptoes and started whispering “He frowned even harsher than usual this morning, I really don’t know what happened to get him in a mood like that.”

 _Well fuck._

Yamaguchi tried to fight down the fear welling up inside of him and forced a smile towards Yachi, in a useless attempt to reassure them both.

“Thank you. I’ll- uhm. I’ll go now,” was all he managed to get out before making his way towards the floor he had been working on the past weeks with heavy legs. This was it, huh?

He really messed up big time.

Stupid horny brain. Stupid Kei. 

_Stupid exhibition kink._

The time it took him from the reception to Tsukishima’s office felt both like an eternity and just the blink of an eye at the same time. His arm dragged as he lifted it up to knock on the thick wooden door, and the deep “Come in,” from the other side did nothing to ease his mind.

Barely throwing a glance at the man behind the desk, he hurried to take a seat opposite, and then all he could do was wait for his trial. Tsukishima took a deep breath and Yamaguchi dared to give him a quick glance, which he regretted almost instantly.

He looked at him with a completely unreadable expression and Yamaguchi’s heart went into overdrive.

_He will fire me. He will fire me. He will fire me. Oh my god, I messed up big time._

_I_ _’ll fail my semester._

_It will look awful on my CV._

_I won’t ever get a job again._

_I’m going to die._

_Oh my god, I'm going to die-_

“Yamaguchi,-“ Tsukishima started and out of the sheer panic he was in, Yamaguchi pinched his eyes together, waiting for the inevitable blow. “What happened yesterday was, well. Unprofessional. It has no place in this company, but-”

_He’s gonna fire me, he’s gonna fire me, he’s gonna fire me-_

“Would you consider going out with me?”

Yamaguchi froze.

“I’m aware this could make you uncomfortable since we’re working together, so I understand if you would rather decline. We’d probably have to keep it a secret too. Nevertheless, I’d like to ask you to think about it at least and-“

_“What?”_

Now it was Tsukishima’s turn to stop in his tracks and look at him with confusion in his eyes. “Yamaguchi?”

“Y-you’re not going to fire me?”

Tsukishima just stared at him for a moment before he started sputtering, hiding his face behind a fist. “N-no, oh my God why would I fire you? Your work is excellent, I’d be a fool to let you go.”

“But-“ Yamaguchi’s mind raced through a thousand thoughts a second. “B-but you just said-“

“It _was_ unprofessional of me to call you outside of work just because I wanted to. Which is why I’m asking you out,” he said, as if that was the most logical explanation in the world. “Are you free tomorrow night?”

Yamaguchi just stared at him and let the entire conversation pass through himself again, trying desperately to make sense of the mess in his head.

 _I’m not fired. That’s good. I didn’t ruin my life. I won’t die._

_Tsukishima just asked me out. That’s all._

“Wait.”

_Holy fuck. Tsukishima asked me out._

“You’re asking me out? L-like, on a date?”

Tsukishima just laughed at him and his honey eyes gleamed at his puzzled expression. “Yes, Yamaguchi. A date.” He tilted his head in question. “If you want to, that is.”

This time, it didn’t take him long to process the information at all, and immediately, Yamaguchi nodded. “Fuck, of course I want to, Tsukishima!” He bit his lip just as quickly as it took him to say those words out loud. “Ah I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to curse, I’m just-“

Slender fingers reached across the desk and wrapped around his wrist gently, silencing him instantly. When he looked up to Tsukishima, he was _smiling_ , actually smiling. No trace of the usual amusement, just a pure, warm, honest smile.

It knocked all air from Yamaguchi’s lungs.

“It’s okay, Yamaguchi. I understand.” Then, his expression shifted again, back into the mischievous smirk he was so much more familiar with.

“Fuck.”

The way he said it with so little enthusiasm cracked Yamaguchi up and he started laughing.

“No, no, no, you gotta put some more energy in it, Tsukishima. Like this, see?” He inhaled and channeled all his emotions before spitting out another curse. Tsukishima seemed impressed.

“Fuck!” he tried again, with a little more force behind it, but it was still lacking _something_.

“Noo, you’re doing it all wrong.” He leaned over the table and closer to Tsukishima, pinching his eyes together and cursing all his emotions out. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Tsukishima did the same, but he could barely hide his laughter, not trying to stay serious anymore.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck?”

When Yamaguchi opened his eyes again to berate him on his weak cursing form, he almost shrieked back at how close their faces were to each other. Tsukishima’s eyes were looking right into his soul, only separated by the thin layer of glass, and if he reached out, he could probably run his fingers across his blond, almost translucent lashes and count every single one of them.

He inched closer, even closer, until their noses almost touched, and he could probably reach the soft-looking lips with his own if he just angled his head the right way–

“Tsukishima-san, your father wishes to speak to you,” the receptionist’s voice came through the door along with a gentle knock and the two of them separated so quickly it almost gave Yamaguchi whiplash. Tsukishima stared at him with wide eyes and slightly pink cheeks. If _he_ looked like that, Yamaguchi didn’t even want to know what state he himself was in.

“Tsukishima-san?” she asked again, and knocked once more, a little more forceful this time.

As much as Yamaguchi had grown attached to Yachi the past weeks, and as great of a receptionist that she was, he cursed her to hell that very moment.

Tsukishima let out a quiet _fuck_ from the other side of the table, and this time, Yamaguchi could not have found anything to correct him on even if he wanted to. As he stood up, straightening his jacket and readjusting his glasses, he threw him an apologetic look before he made his way over to the door in quick strides.

And then he was gone. 

_Fuck indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi it's me again hehe 
> 
> can you imagine that when I was writing this I literally had to go check my tags on ao3 to make sure I didn’t accidentally tag it slowburn – because this really isn't. I’m sorry. Maybe I’ll let them pine painfully some other time. Anyways, moving on. 
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, mostly because I really only planned the call scene, and the rest just kind of – happened, which is my favorite way to write (but don’t tell my professors that). The only thing I despise is writing group conversations because AHHHHHHHH goddamn having to repeat names all the time to make it more easily understandable. I hope it turned out okay. I really, really, REALLY wanted to mention some side daisuga and chaotic, platonic and possibly post uni fling oisuga which is how this whole mess happened in the first place. Also, we can all agree that Tsukishima has a degradation kink, right? right? riiightttt????? I'll get into that later, don't worry. 
> 
> The toy this is loosely inspired by is that lush vibrator everyone is using, but like a fictional buttplug version of that because I’m not sure the regular one is safe to use for anal. 
> 
> Much love,  
> miso <3 
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/messymiso)


	4. Filthy, Disgusting, Nasty Whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!!!
> 
> Sorry that this took a little longer, I was going to inlcude way more in this chapter but I decided on splitting it in half since this alone is already like 10k words and i didn't want it to be overwhelming. 
> 
> CW: mention/threat of leaking sexual content? Not going into grave detail but I wanted to put it out there just in case. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Shouyou, help me out here please,” he begged into the phone speaker as quietly as he could, trying not to alert any of his colleagues as he found himself hiding out in the company’s massively sized bathroom cubicles.

Once again.

Hinata’s voice chirped back from the other side of the line. “I don’t know ‘Dashi, have you tried texting him or something? He doesn’t really seem like the type that’s good at talking.”

Yamaguchi snorted. “Tell me something new. I haven’t been able to talk to him at all ever since he dropped that on me. Who does that? He asked me out and dipped, just like that. We even had a moment going on, and I _swear_ to the gods that if Yachi didn’t interrupt us we would have probably made out right then and there. And maybe banged on his desk. Oh man, I _really_ want to bang on his desk-“

“Lalalalala, I can’t hear your stupid horny brain thoughts at all,” Hinata interrupted, singing over him loudly and, as he knew him, probably stuck his tongue out to the phone.

“Jeez, ‘Dashi, I thought you grew out of your crazy hormone phase after we graduated. You gotta be careful when you bring that kinda stuff into business, have you learned nothing from the Inarizaki incident in second year? Tanaka had to-”

“Get stitches, I know, I know, and I won’t ever forget because you guys _always keep reminding me_.” Yamaguchi groaned quietly at the memory, but because he was still a little salty about the incident – which was definitely not at all his fault – he couldn’t stop himself from mimicking the lecture his team gave him back then.

“Never seduce the enemy teams wing spiker on the first night of nationals Tadashi, especially if he happens to be the team captains twin brother Tadashi, he will fall for you and cause them to lose the game Tadashi, and then the captain will blame you for their loss and beat up your ace’s ass up Tadashi, all because you’re just too goddamn sexy Ta-“

“Ugh stop, shut up, I get it, okay?” Hinata complained back, but he started laughing at his impression, nevertheless. “I’ll never forget Coach’s face when we had to explain _that_ mess to him. He looked so disappointed. And scared.”

“Not as disappointed as Ennoshita though,” Yamaguchi shot back, and he shivered at the memory of their angry captain when they arrived at their bus late with a half-beaten-up Tanaka. “Do you think he ever recovered from that?”

“Nope. Legend says he still goes to therapy.”

For a second, they were both quiet. Then they simultaneously broke out into wheezing laughter.

“O-oh my god Shouyou-“ he managed to squeeze out between laughing fits, Hinata not managing much more than that himself. It took both of them an embarrassingly long while to calm back down again enough to form coherent words, but despite all the unintentional noise he made in the bathroom, he had no regrets about calling his best friend on the clock.

He felt relieved.

The anxiety about the odd encounter he had with Tsukishima earlier that day, and the continuous strain of trying to find a way to speak to him were gone, just like that. Hinata always had that effect on people. Whether it was intentional or not, he managed to strip away their worries and fears, and instead filled the space with warmth, spearing happiness through everyone around him like sharpened rays of pure sunlight.

Yamaguchi missed him bitterly.

“Thanks, Shouyou,” he almost whispered out, suddenly feeling sentimental. “I feel a lot better now.”

Hinata giggled. “Anytime ‘Dashi! Come visit home soon, please, we all miss you here.” A heartbeat later he added, more quietly, “I miss you here.”

It tore Yamaguchi’s heart clean in two.

“Soon, I promise. Mom’s been on my ass about it too, so I’ll probably come back for a weekend soon. And remember, you’re always welcome to visit me in Tokyo. I got a futon right here with your name on it.”

“As soon as this season’s over I’m booking a train ticket, you betcha. And then you can introduce me to your asshole boyfriend-but-not-really-boyfriend.”

“Hey! He’s not an a-“

Yamaguchi stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the door to the bathroom open. He quietly cursed and hung up the call as quick as he could, not saying another word to Hinata. Instead, he opened their messages and typed a quick apology along with a promise to call again.

It would have to do. He really couldn’t risk being found calling someone during his work hours, if they fired him, he’d have no way to complete the mandatory internship semester and it would set him back significantly, which was something he wanted to avoid at all cost. Luckily, the person outside didn’t seem to notice anything, and just a few moments later, the door opened and closed again - the coast was clear.

Quickly, Yamaguchi slid out of the stall, relieved when he found the bathroom as empty as he had expected. After hastily fixing his tie in the mirror and making sure he looked presentable, he strode to the door and swung it open enthusiastically, eager to make it back to his desk.

Only, he didn’t make it that far.

“Fancy meeting you here Yamaguchi. What a coincidence.”

Sugawara leaned against the wall next to the door, looking sleek as ever in a dark gray suit and a black tie that made his eyes gleam even brighter. Those very eyes proceeded to wink at him, and a sly, bright and probably misleading grin spread over his senpai’s face. He looked like he had definitely just heard him in the bathroom and had definitely been waiting for him to come back out.

Yamaguchi had a bad feeling about this.

“Won’t you come on a quick walk with your dear Senpai?” he asked, but by the sound of his voice, it was clear that there was absolutely no room for arguing about it. So Yamaguchi just nodded and stepped next to him, letting himself being pulled down the hallway and towards the elevator.

Sugawara looked pleased as he pressed the button to the highest floor, but he remained silent all the way up. When the doors finally opened, Yamaguchi was once again dragged along through the halls of the elegant building, never stopping once to give him a moment to orientate himself. He had never been in this part of the building, only keeping to the few floors he had been introduced to – not only out of respect to the company but also because he was simply terrified that he would get completely lost in the seemingly endless corridors.

They had been walking for what seemed like forever, especially with the silence between them, but Yamaguchi was afraid of initiating the conversation. He wasn’t quite sure what direction this would take, but by the looks of the spaced-out fancy doors, he was probably approaching the office of one of the company’s highest positioned executives. Which made him nervous. Extremely nervous.

He wasn’t in trouble, was he?

“Suga-“ he started, nervousness finally reaching the point where he just had to at least try to get some answers, but he was interrupted immediately.

“Hush, Yamaguchi. Patience.” As mean as the words were, there was still a smile on his Senpai’s face, which put his mind at ease even if it was just the slightest bit. At least for the moment. It couldn’t be too bad if Suga could smile about it, right?

All he could do was shut his mouth and hope.

It took them two more hallways and a painfully long awkward silence until they finally came to a halt in front of what had to be the most impressive, double-winged door he had seen in his life. A polished, golden plate in the wall right beside read-

_No way._

_No way in hell._

_Absolutely fucking not, there was no way this was happening-_

“Ready to meet the big boss?” Sugawara asked with a wink and the nudge of his shoulder, and before Yamaguchi had even begun to process what was about to happen to him, his Senpai had already knocked on the door enthusiastically, and then they were asked inside.

The office that opened up in front of him was more impressive than anything he had ever seen. Sleek, shining marble covered the floor, only interrupted by an expensive looking carpet that protected the feet of the most massive wooden desk in the world. Probably. Behind it, floor to ceiling windows revealed the breathtaking Tokyo skyline – but none of those things, as exclusive and imposing as they were, came even close to comparing to the intimidating presence of the man sitting right in the middle of it all. 

Tsukishima Satoru - in all his tall, handsome, and ice-cold glory.

Immediately, the resemblance between him and Kei was clear. He had the same, elegant bone structure and porcelain skin, the same tall, lanky body, but his blond hair had already begun fading to gray and the eyes which stared right at him were nothing like the warm honey color he was used to. Instead, he was met with bright crystal blue that seemed to look right through his soul.

He was absolutely terrifying.

“Thank you, Sugawara-san. You can leave now.”

_No, no, no, please don’t leave me alone with him, anything but that-_

His pleads went unheard. Sugawara bowed his head in respect, before replying, “Of course, Tsukishima-sama. Let me know if you require anything else.”

The man behind the desk only shook his head once, and Sugawara took it as his cue to get out of there. With one final bow, he bid them farewell, and then he was gone.

Leaving him completely alone in the lion’s den.

_I should’ve texted my mom that I love her._

_I should have listened to my grandpa and written a will as soon as I turned 18._

_Oh god, who will take care of my funeral? Shouyou? No way, that’s just going to end up in a mess. I hope they play good music at the reception._

_Ugh, I’m way too young to die, I haven’t even gotten the chance to get laid on Tsukishima’s desk yet—_

“Welcome, Yamaguchi-san. Take a seat, please,” the voice of his employer sounded through the room and it ripped him out of his spiraling panic. With a small nod of his head, he complied, hurrying over and taking a seat on one of the massive leather chairs, so big they almost swallowed him up, and he felt even more out of place than he already did.

“T-thank you, Tsukishima-sama,” he managed to get out, but Yamaguchi didn’t dare to say another word, terrified of being disrespectful or embarrassing himself. He didn’t have to worry about that for very long, since the man across from him started the conversation up immediately.

Yamaguchi didn’t know whether that should be a relief or a cause of concern. Either way, he was nervous, and his entire energy was focused on suppressing his shaking leg.

“My son seems to be –“ Satoru hesitated for a second, presumably searching for the right word for a moment, before finally continuing. His expression was unreadable, but it left a sour taste in Yamaguchi’s mouth.

“Kei seems to be _fond_ of you.”

_Oh god no, please-_

“He pointed out some excellent recommendations in your application, which apparently have proven to be correct. See, Professor Takeda and I go way back, which is why I trust his judgment when he recommended you. Still, I’d like to see for myself. You understand that surely.”

Yamaguchi swallowed heavily. As much as the first part was probably supposed to be taken as a compliment, the last remark worried him. A challenge? Is that what he wanted?  
  
Slowly, he nodded and forced himself to answer with an almost convincingly stable voice. “Of course, Tsukishima-sama.”

“Here in this company, we deal with the upper class of the upper class. Working for and with them requires excellent skills, wits, and patience, none of which any university program will be able to teach you. On top of that - and allow me to be blunt here - the vast majority of them is absolutely insufferable. Which is why a simple recommendation won’t be enough to convince me of your value as a potential lawyer for us.”

 _I’m just an intern though_ , Yamaguchi wanted to blurt out, but he bit his tongue and just nodded.

Satoru reached over his massive desk, browsing through a stack of papers and binders until he pulled out a file and laid it out in front of him.

“You’re familiar with the Mitsunaka case, I presume?”

Again, Yamaguchi nodded.

It was the big shot case Kei had told him about on his very first day, and what they had been working on in intervals for the past weeks. Their client was no other than the most famous film director of the country, who was not only filthy rich but also still legally married to his very unhappy wife.

A classic divorce case, really. Money, property, child custody. The usual.

“You see, Mitsunaka-san called me in a panic this morning, and I don’t want to lie, it’s looking really bad for us. His wife threatened to publish sensitive material if he doesn’t comply with her every demand and he has requested our presence in Kyoto immediately to get the situation under control. It will be challenging, but I know that Kei will be able to handle it. I trust his abilities. You, however-,” he trailed off, looking directly at him with his icy eyes, and Yamauchi had to struggle not to break under the pressure that went along with the implicit insult.

“Well. I’ll give you this one chance. You will accompany Kei to Kyoto, immediately, and fix this mess. I expect it to be sorted by the end of the weekend.”

Yamaguchi was stunned.

No way. No way in _hell_ did that just happen. Go to Kyoto? Fix this mess? Today?

There was no way he could do all that. Absolutely not. He would mess up, not even a full month into the internship, and lose his position, lose everything he worked so hard for.

 _Absolutely not,_ is what he wanted to say.

“Of course, Tsukishima-sama. I won’t disappoint you,” is what came out instead.

\---

Tsukishima’s day could not have been worse.

Not only did his father interrupt his otherwise perfectly executed date-proposal plan with Yamaguchi first thing in the morning, he had also immediately dumped an entire week’s worth of preparation work on him for the case they were supposed to fix in a mere two days which had kept him so busy that he hadn’t even gotten a single second to talk to him.

Instead of going through with the case at the planned speed, their asshole client had pulled an “I-didn’t-know-my-wife-had-a-sex-tape-of-me-and-she-wants-to-leak-it-if-I-don’t-give-her-everything-she-asks” out of nowhere, which had to be fixed immediately. And, of course, as it was in the circles of the rich and famous, he was completely unable to leave Kyoto due to his filming schedule.

Which meant that he and Yamaguchi would have to spend the weekend there.

Tsukishima’s first thought after hearing the sudden change of plans was _fuck_.

The very close second - _I get to spend the weekend with Yamaguchi_.

The third, however, bit him right back in the ass. _We will have to work, and it will be stressful, and he will hate me for taking away his free time._

Which, overall, brought him back to the conclusion that it was, indeed, a bad day.

It was already way past noon when Tsukishima finally managed to stop by at the reception to check in with Yachi about the logistics of their trip. He had asked her to book a train and a hotel for them and she hastily handed him the tickets and papers over as soon as she spotted him approaching her front desk.

Yachi quickly rattled down all the information he could possibly need, but he could barely concentrate enough to register the data in his head. His thoughts circled between files and schedules and a certain face that he couldn’t shake off no matter how hard he tried.

“Does Yamaguchi know about this?” he interrupted her, pointing to the train tickets, and Yachi shut her mouth immediately. 

“Ah- no, not yet. Shall I-?”

“No need, I’ll take care of it.”

Tsukishima would be damned if he would miss the first opportunity to talk to Yamaguchi since their unintentional separation this morning. “I’ll be going now,” he threw over his shoulder, already making his way over to his office to pack the remaining things he needed for the trip. He had to hurry.

It only took him a couple of minutes until he was out on the streets again, clutching his bag in one hand and his phone in the other, pressing it up against his ear. The line was ringing, and ringing and ringing, but Yamaguchi just wouldn’t pick up the phone.

He tried again. Nothing.

After he had let the call ring through all the way until the annoying, pre-installed voice mail answered for the fourth time, Tsukishima gave up. A text would have to do. He waited until he was in the elevator to his apartment to type out a quick message.

 **[** **Tsukishima** **]** **call me if you can please**

 **[** **Tsukishima** **]** **our train leaves at 6 pm I got the tickets**

 **[** **Tsukishima** **]** **see you there**

 **[** **Tsukishima** **]** **I’m sorry about this whole mess**

As soon as he sent them off, Tsukishima grimaced at himself in the mirrored wall.

He sounded pathetic. He _was_ pathetic.

Everything that could have possibly gone wrong, did go wrong. With a long, theatric sigh, he checked the time and groaned even louder into his empty apartment when he realized that he barely had more than two hours left until he had to be at the station. He’d have to hurry the hell up.

The next hours passed in a blur. He showered, scarfed down a lukewarm bowl of plain rice, and dumped his clothes in the suitcase, praying to the Gods that the hotel Yachi chose for them had irons available to get the inevitable wrinkles out. When he finally made it to the train station, with just about twenty minutes to spare, Tsukishima was drained, both physically and mentally.

It didn’t help that he hadn’t heard from Yamaguchi at all.

He had tried to call him again in the cab on the way but was once again met with nothing but the sad, sad sound of the automatic voicemail. With every passing minute, his anxiety increased, and he couldn’t help but check his phone almost obsessively.

_Will he come? Will he leave me here?_

_Did I fuck up so badly that he hates me enough to abandon his work?_

The thoughts whirring through his head would not stop, even when the platform started filling up with other passengers, or when the train stopped in front of him, or when the doors opened, and people started streaming in to find their seats.

5 minutes left.

_What do I do if he doesn’t come? Do I wait? Do I go?_

_I don’t want to go if it’s not with h-_

“Tsukki-“ he heard someone call, so faintly he almost imagined it. Then again.

“Tsukishima!”

Was that-

He whipped around, and sure enough, there he was. Running towards him at full speed, dragging his suitcase behind him awkwardly, almost stepping on the halfway undone scarf was Yamaguchi, in all of his glory.

Tsukishima’s heart skipped a beat.

“Yamaguchi!” he shouted back, subconsciously already moving to take a step in his direction, following the burning need to meet him halfway, but Yamaguchi shook his head violently and waved the free hand at the train.  
  
“No! Go! The door!“ he panted, coming closer and closer, “We’re gonna miss the train!”

Right. Fuck.

Tsukishima turned on his heel and made a beeline for the train, much closer to him than Yamaguchi was. They should still have a minute or two before it left the station, but better safe than sorry. The platform was almost abandoned by now, empty except for a few bored-looking passengers already waiting for the next train, and the unimpressed conductor at the front.

One leg in the door, he heaved his own bag into the cart to have his hands free, and when he turned back towards the station to see how far Yamaguchi had gotten, he was already there.

Running into him at full speed.

Before he could even think about what was happening, they were both already stumbling inside under his momentum, Tsukishima’s leg catching onto the bag he left in the corridor, and then he started falling, taking Yamaguchi right with him.

They landed with a thump that knocked all the air from Tsukishima’s lungs, but the impact was by far not the only thing taking his breath away. Yamaguchi’s body was sprawled right over him, flush against his chest, and even through all the layers of clothing separating us, he could feel the warmth radiating from him.

Tsukishima wouldn’t have had any complaints about staying like that just a little longer, but as soon as the situation registered in Yamaguchi, the man was already pulling away again, frantically scrambling to stand up with a red face. “Ahh! Tsukishima! I’m so, so sorry!”

And just like that, the moment was over.

Yamaguchi started babbling. It was something he did a lot when he got nervous, to cover up his embarrassment, and Tsukishima found it very endearing, -

“Oh god, I didn’t realize how late it was and I didn’t want to miss the train so I just kept running, and then you were there already and,-“

-most of the time. This was not one of those times.

“Are you hurt?” he interrupted, and Yamaguchi shut up.

He stood there for a moment and assessed himself. His bag first, which was standing just barely on the inside of the train, then he tapped down the pockets of his coat, relief washing over him. Only then did he glance at his own hands, the hands that he had gripped the suitcase with, and the hands that had tried to stop the fall. They must have hurt.

Still, he only shook his head. “All good, all safe. Thanks for-“ the train suddenly shut its automatic doors behind him and Yamaguchi flinched at the sudden noise, interrupting himself. As the cart started to move, he turned back towards Tsukishima and beamed the brightest smile right at him.

His heart fluttered.

“Thanks for catching me.”

Tsukishima could only nod hastily before he had to hide his face behind his scarf, too embarrassed about his own reddening face.

\---

When they finally manage to settle down in their cart, they both slumped down in the assigned seats, exhaustion finally catching up to them. Tsukishima had let Yamaguchi slide into the aisle first and take the window seat, not only because he suspected the man to be a window-seat-person, but also because he felt like he had to create a little barrier between him and the rest of the train, caging him in their little space, keeping him safe from the outside world.

It may have been a selfish thought, but Tsukishima wasn’t afraid to admit that he was a selfish man. And by the looks of it, Yamaguchi definitely needed some peace and quiet.

If he hadn’t already known exactly what Yamaguchi had been doing the night before, he would have probably asked why the man looked so incredibly exhausted. And, if he hadn’t already know exactly how much Yamaguchi enjoyed that very reason he was so tired today, he would have probably felt a little bad about it.

Probably.

But now that Yamaguchi was right there next to him, his face already visibly relaxing to the soothing, monotone sound of the train and the blurry passing scenery, he had no regrets.

“’m sorry I didn’t call back earlier, Tsukishima,” he mumbled out, eyes already drooping. “I barely made it home in time to pack, ‘nd I had to catch the train here.”

Tsukishima would have done anything to scoop him up in his arms right then and there.

“Kei. You can call me Kei when we’re not at the office, remember?”

That brought a little smile onto Yamaguchi’s face. He pressed deeper into the cushions of the seat, curling up on himself slightly. “Kei,” he said as if to test the name out on his tongue.

“Kei. Okay. ‘m sorry about that, Kei.”

Tsukishima snorted. _Cute_. “It’s okay. I thought you were probably packing. It was late notice after all. Damn that stupid bastard.”

Yamaguchi chuckled, but his eyes remained closed. “Yeah, damn him indeed. But hey-“ a long yawn interrupted him and he rubbed his face the way only tired people do.

 _Cute_.

“At least now we can have our date in Kyoto, right Kei?”

Tsukishima froze.

_He still thinks about the date. He isn’t mad. He still wants to go out with me. He doesn’t hate me._

_He doesn’t hate me._

By the time Tsukishima recovered from that, Yamaguchi was already drifting off to sleep next to him. His features were soft in his drowsy state, relaxed, and it was soothing to look at him like that, all vulnerable. Out of all the many different faces Tsukishima had been allowed to see of him so far, this one had to be his favorite.

“Sleep well,” he mumbled, more to himself than to the man curled up next to him who definitely didn’t hear him anymore, before leaning back to close his heavy eyes himself. Tsukishima knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, he never could on journeys like these, and especially not if he had to look out for stops and attendants and emails from their bastard client, but he could at least rest for a little.

For a moment he was tempted to pull his headphones out of his bag, but that required moving and he really didn’t want to do that. So he just stayed there, with nothing better to do than to focus on the presence right next to him and think about the time they would have. Together.

Tsukishima didn’t travel much. He didn’t travel at all, really, unless it was for business, which never really bothered him – until now. Even though he had seen Kyoto a handful of times, he had never considered it anything but a chore, and he certainly never intended to spontaneously plan a date in the city.

A thought crossed his mind. Maybe he should-

Carefully, without waking the sleeping man beside him, Tsukishima reached into his pocket where he left his phone earlier and, with quick fingers, googled the most pathetic thing in the entire world.

_Date Ideas Kyoto_

As humiliating as it was to scroll through the cheesy and overly detailed articles of women’s magazines, it was helpful, at least a little. He wasn’t sure whether Yamaguchi had even been to the city before, so maybe it would be good to look at one of the famous shrines? The castle, maybe? And where would they get dinner?  
  
He spent the next half hour browsing through websites and looking at maps, planning potential routes, and positively overthinking everything. What if it started raining? What if they got cold? Did Yamaguchi pack enough warm clothes? It wasn’t quite winter yet, but the nights grew increasingly icy with each passing day, and if they had to stay with their client until noon, they would probably have to resort to spending the evening together.

By the time Tsukishima was confident in his plan, at least enough to make it through without embarrassing himself, probably, they were already halfway there. Yamaguchi had slept through the ride peacefully, curled up in himself like a cat, and only ever moved around to relieve the strain on his neck from staying in a position for too long. It definitely wasn’t comfortable, but if he could get some rest that way, Tsukishima would let him.

That was until he reached down to grab the water bottle from his bag, and he moved a bit too quickly, and Yamaguchi shifted and slid down the seat further and further and further – until his head hit Tsukishima’s thigh.

He sucked in his breath at the weight that was suddenly in his lap.

 _Don’t wake up please,_ he prayed quietly, not sure how to explain himself if Yamaguchi suddenly found himself in a position like that, but the man only sighed contently, nuzzling his head against his newfound pillow and continued sleeping soundly.

They stayed like that for the rest of the ride, and Tsukishima was torn. As much as he enjoyed the proximity of Yamaguchi and the soft, happy expression on his face as he cuddled up against his thigh, it cost him all of his self-restraint not to just bury his hands in his soft-looking hair or pull him closer by his waist. He shouldn’t be taking advantage of him like that. Then again, who knew when the next opportunity would come.

He settled on snapping a picture of the sleeping beauty in his lap. Just one. Maybe two. To keep this memory forever. He buried them deep in his files, a little embarrassed about his childish, selfish behavior, but if he thought about how he would be able to bask in the soft image of Yamaguchi’s even just a few more times, it was all worth it.

Maybe Tsukishima’s day wasn’t all so bad.

When they finally arrived in Kyoto, Tsukishima’s leg was numb, and Yamaguchi’s face was red.

Tsukishima may or may not have twisted himself in a way that the man beside him was shielded from the people in the aisle as he slowly woke up, the thought of sharing the sight of a sleepy, blushing Yamaguchi with the rest of the world stinging uncomfortably, and he may or may not have caught him by the waist when he stumbled slightly on his way out.

Their hotel wasn’t far, they could walk the distance from the station in just a few minutes, and he quietly thanked Yachi for considering this detail earlier. It was nice too, with a clean but traditional lobby and a friendly receptionist, welcoming them warmly.

“Tsukishima? Of course, one moment,” she said before typing something in the computer and ushering to the back for paperwork and keys. Next to him, Yamaguchi was still a little groggy, slumping slightly and yawning every few minutes. Maybe, if they were dating already, he would have leaned into his side for support. Maybe he would have held his shirt again. Maybe he would have let him rub the sleep from his eyes gently, kiss him awake.

Tsukishima really wanted to.

He hoped Yamaguchi felt the same.

“Thanks for letting me sleep on the way, Kei,” he finally said, after another yawn, and the smile he received felt like the warm streaks of sunshine on a spring morning, spearing right through his chest.

“Mh, you looked like you needed it.”

_No, no, no, stupid Kei, stupid Kei, why would you say that?_

That sounded way ruder than he intended. But Yamaguchi just laughed, nodding his head in agreement. “Absolutely I did. Let’s hope the beds are comfortable here, right?”

Tsukishima nodded, but before he could reply, the receptionist was back, a paper in one hand and two keys dangling from the other. “Alright, here are the keys to room 311 and 312. If you would sign here,-“

She babbled on, explaining the key system and the route to the rooms, but Tsukishima could only focus on Yamaguchi whose face had suddenly darkened a little, the corners of his mouth pulled into the slightest hint of a frown as soon as the woman had returned.

Did he look - disappointed? Was something wrong? Was he not happy about-

 _Oh_.

It dawned on Tsukishima when he followed Yamaguchi’s eyes onto the set of keys on the counter.

Keys.

_Plural._

Had he hoped that they would-?

Tsukishima couldn’t even bring himself to finish the thought.

Silently, he cursed Yachi, suddenly wishing she would have only reserved only one room in a clumsy mistake. Damn her and her excellent organization skill.

Yamaguchi remained quiet when they signed the paperwork and headed towards the elevator, following behind him a half step with draggy feet. Tsukishima thought about saying something, browsed his mind desperately for anything, but he couldn’t decide on something in time before they arrived in front of their respective doors.

They stood there for a moment, both unsure what to do or what to say, but when Tsukishima made a move to get the keys out of his pocket, it shook Yamaguchi out of it, and he started, “Ah, I’ll take 312. Twelve is my lucky number.”

Tsukishima nodded and handed over the key to him, his chest tightening uncomfortably as Yamaguchi headed towards his own door without another word, head turned away from him.

“Food-“ he started, his voice almost cracking pathetically Tsukishima immediately bit his lip.

_Stupid Kei. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That’s not how you ask._

At least it made Yamaguchi stop and return his attention to him.

_Try again._

“Do you want to get food?” he corrects himself. “It’s late, but we can probably still order room service.“

Yamaguchi avoided his eye contact very subtly by staring holes into the floor. “Ah no, it’s okay, I’m not really that hungry.” He turned and approached his door, opening it and stepping halfway inside before Tsukishima could even say something.

“Goodnight, Kei.”

Then he was gone.

_What the fuck._

Dumbfoundedly, Tsukishima stayed behind in the empty hallway, trying to process what in the hell had suddenly caused bubbly, cheerful, clingy Yamaguchi to act like that.

Had he done something wrong again? He definitely had done something wrong again.

At this point, he had genuinely lost count of how many situations he had fucked up between them. He really needed to do better.

With a sigh of resignation, Tsukishima turned to his own door, opening into a spacious, modern room centering around a western-style king bed, and parting into the brightest, shiniest bathroom he had probably ever seen. If the situation was any different, he would have probably acknowledged the beauty of it. But right here, right now, he only wanted to sulk.

So sulking he did.

Tsukishima just about managed to kick his shoes off and dump his coat near the door before collapsing on the bed in a boneless pile of sour thoughts and regrets. He stayed there in silence, faintly hearing steps from the room above him and he focused completely on trailing the stranger’s path, imagining what they would do up there. Anything to keep his mind from drifting.

Time passed.

At some point, he could hear running water through the wall right next to him. Yamaguchi bathing. It drowned out the sound of the stranger walking their rounds in room 411 and gone was the welcome distraction.

His thoughts circled back to Yamaguchi in the hallway, Yamaguchi on the train, Yamaguchi in his office, Yamaguchi on the screen of his laptop.

Yamaguchi in the shower. Yamaguchi in this room, in his bed, in his arms.

His mind ran wild.

It hurried through the messy maze of memories and snippets of the possible future, up the inviting streets of fuzzy warmth and onyx eyes, down the shady alleyways of empty bedrooms and unanswered questions. He stumbled through stalls of soft hands in his own, only to crash into a dead end that stabbed disappointment right through his chest. 

He started to get lost.

In a desperate attempt to find his way out, he traced back his steps, but they only led him back to the same, overcrowded junction, over and over again. He panicked. Every time he returned to the spot once again, the warm streets and stalls became more distant, only leaving creeping cold. It inched closer with every step he took, closer with every breath, closer with every blink of his eye-

“Kei?”

Tsukishima ripped his eyes open and gasped in air like a drowning man.

_What-_

A few rapid knocks against his door. Then his name again.

“Kei? Are you still awake?”

Yamaguchi.

He was on his feet immediately, reaching for the handle while still in his step and ripping the door open with so much force, he almost crashes it into himself. And sure enough there he was, in purple, star-dotted pajama pants and damp hair wetting the white fabric of his shirt.

“I’m sorry, I-“ he begun but stopped when he met Tsukishima’s eyes. His own widened and he started babbling again. “Oh gosh, did I wake you? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just- I wanted to apologize and ask if you still wanted to eat because I wasn't sure if we should or not but then I got kind of hangry and I haven’t stayed in a hotel room alone, like, ever and I wanted to ask if it’s okay if we can eat together and watch a movie or something until-“

“Come in,” Tsukishima interrupted, and Yamaguchi beamed at him, immediately slipping into his room.

As he walked by him, the air between them faintly smelled of what could only be strawberry shampoo and something minty, and it replaced all the thoughts in his head with the pleasant image of summer and Yamaguchi.

Who was currently sitting on the edge of his bed.

Huh.

Maybe his day wasn’t all so bad.

\---

Getting upset about not being able to fulfill his cheesy only-one-hotel-bed moment that he had always dreamt of was, admittedly, not one of Yamaguchi’s proudest moments.

Turning Tsukishima’s offer away to have food just because he wanted to calm himself down first and not sour both of their moods was an even worse one. Because standing completely alone in the middle of a massive, luxurious hotel room with only a growling stomach and an ache in his heart to keep him company was no fun. At all.

_Stupid Tadashi._

They could have ordered food. They could have eaten in one of their rooms. Maybe he could have pretended to fall asleep if it was Tsukishima’s room, or maybe he could have convinced him to stay the night, or maybe he could have just enjoyed and appreciated his company while it lasted like a normal person.

But Yamaguchi had a bad habit.

He had a bad habit of thinking in all-or-nothings. A bad habit that, whenever his emotions slipped out of his control even the slightest, he was forced to choose one of two options.

Option one was to isolate himself until his head cleared and he was himself again, away from anyone he was close to so he could avoid pulling them along with it.

Option two was – well. It was a little messier than that.

And he had no desire to reveal that side of himself to Tsukishima yet. It would only scare him away.

So there he was, alone in Kyoto, starving and lonely. He started scouting his room, unpacking his suitcase, inspecting the bathroom. He set up his laptop and a small stack of files on the desk near the window so he could look over them again the next morning when they met with their client, before setting out his pajamas and heading to have a bath.

It was nice to let the hot shower wash away the tenseness of his shoulders, and once he sunk into the bathtub, the knot inside his chest unraveled just as quickly as it had gotten there.

Yamaguchi scolded himself.

What had he expected? That Tsukishima would book only one room for them, just because he had asked him out once? Of course he didn’t, and it should have been seriously concerning if he had. But a tiny voice inside of him still whined about it, about the missed opportunity of being close to him.

He really had to stop watching cheesy romcoms.

As Yamaguchi soaked away in the warm water, he formed a plan, convincing his inner bad habit that no, not all was lost just because one of his stupid little expectations wasn’t fulfilled earlier and he could fix the situation right back up again.

So when he followed through with it and successfully found himself stretched out on Tsukishima’s bed half an hour later, plates of delicious room-service-food between them and a trashy stand-up comedian on the TV, his bad habit shut up for good. He won. He fixed it. And he was proud of himself.

Seeing Tsukishima like this, with slightly messy hair and his face bare without his glasses, felt like he had won the reward of the century. Hit _the_ jackpot.

Conversation flowed comfortably between them, but as their plates started to empty and the third commercial break interrupted the program, Yamaguchi could tell that the blond was starting to grow tired next to him. As quietly as he could, he started to clean up, making room on the bed and getting the dirty dishes out of the way.

Tsukishima was definitely still awake though because as Yamaguchi finished carrying the last plate to the desk, he spoke up with a low, sleepy, and illegally sexy voice.

“Oh god Tadashi, look at this,” he said, and the use of his given name still sent shivers down his spine. “Can you imagine? I played against that guy in High School.” Tsukishima pointed at the TV where the next comedian had taken the stage. A man around their age with short dark hair and a casual red hoodie had just started his routine, the little pop-up bar at the bottom reading Fukanaga Shohei.

“Really?” Yamaguchi answered as he settled back on the bed, and maybe he scooted a little closer to the middle than just a moment ago, but he wouldn’t have admitted to that out loud.

“Mh. Bastard. He doesn’t look it, but he was really good.” Tsukishima frowned, but it wasn’t the face he usually pulled when he was judging people. This frown was closer to reminiscing of bittersweet memory.

_Cute._

“What sport did you play?” he inquired, both surprised and curious to hear more about Tsukishima’s younger years. He spoke of himself so little, Yamaguchi would soak any snippet of information he could get up like a sponge.

“Volleyball.”

Yamaguchi whipped around in surprise. “No way! Seriously? Me too!”

Tsukishima laughed. “Yeah seriously. We were pretty good too. Went to nationals and all.”

“Shut up, so did we! What team did you play?”

“Fukurodani in Tokyo. That bastard there,” he pointed to the TV again, “went to Nekoma. Same prefecture, so we always had practice games and-“  
  
“-and training camps.” Yamaguchi finished the sentence.

Suddenly he felt sad. “We played Fukurodani and Nekoma too. Went to their camps. And nationals. Fuck, no way-”

“You went to Karasuno?”

Yamaguchi just nodded. Tsukishima counted his fingers. “You’re 21, right?”

Another nod and Tsukishima sighed. “Three years apart. What are the chances?”

They both fell quiet after that. Yamaguchi could feel melancholy pulling on his heart, and his mind whirred with pictures of the Tokyo training camp and nationals, only now, there was an additional person on the other side of the net. Would they have liked each other? Would they have even spoken at all? Would they have had a friendly rivalry going between them? Would they have fallen in love like that?  
  
He would never know.

Next to him, Tsukishima had sunk a little deeper into the cushions and his eyes were visibly drooping again. He mumbled something, barely audible over the soft sound of the TV, but it made Yamaguchi’s heartache.  
  
“Would’ve been nice.”

_Ouch._

“Mh. We could have had the barbecue together. And team sleepovers after games. Did they already do that when you were on the team?”

The blanket rustled and he heard Tsukishima groan. “Captain introduced it in my second year. It was the _worst_.”  
  
Yamaguchi chuckled and cuddled into the bed closer himself, turning onto his side to give the man next to him his full attention. They were closer now, much closer, but it was comfortable.

“No, no, no, I don’t believe you. They were always a blast. I bet you would have had fun if we were in the same year.”

Tsukishima turned onto his side too, honey eyes meeting his own. He was completely serious as he said, “I would have, no doubt.”

They were so close, and it was definitely not the ideal time to blush, but Yamaguchi’s blood shot straight to his cheeks anyway. He flushed red at the admission, and all he could suddenly think of were futon-covered gym floors and watermelon slices, and a white jersey next to his black one. He closed his eyes and basked in the images, sighing quietly.

“Would’ve been nice,” he repeated.

“Mmh,” Tsukishima agreed, sleep in his voice.

Silence fell between them, and the blond next to him started drifting off slowly to the monotone sound of the TV - which left Yamaguchi in a pickle. Should he steel his self-control and leave, like a gentleman? Or should he give in to the temptation and pretend to just fall asleep, soak up the warmth and proximity while he still could?

He really shouldn’t. He really, really shouldn’t. Tsukishima had booked two rooms for a reason after all. So Yamaguchi wiggled out of bed quietly, making his way over to the door without shaking Tsukishima from his half-sleep state.

Until he was met with a problem.

He groaned loudly at the realization, and Tsukishima stirred on the bed. “What’s wrong?” he asked, and Yamaguchi slowly trotted back to the mattress, a look of defeat on his face.

“I uhm-“ he started, fiddling with his fingers. “I may or may not have forgotten my key in my room…”

For a moment, they looked at each other, Yamaguchi’s face growing hot with each passing millisecond. Then, Tsukishima laughed. A full chest, pinched eyes laugh that shook his shoulders and produced the most beautiful sound Yamaguchi had ever heard. He patted the mattress beside them and nodded over at the empty spot, still smiling.

“What are you waiting for?”

Yamaguchi’s heart skipped a beat.

Without hesitation, he climbed onto the mattress and sunk under the covers, snuggling into the pillow right next to Tsukishima.

“Goodnight, Kei.”

“Night, Tadashi.”

As sleep pulled both of them into a sweet slumber, only separated by half an arm’s length and some fabric, Yamaguchi’s inner bad habit keened.

\---

“This is a disaster! Fix it! Immediately!”

“Of course, Mitsunaka-san. If you would be so kind to provide us with the details of your wife’s threat, we can begin this instant.”

The man pacing the room groaned impatiently. Mitsunaka Susumu was an artist through and through, with an eccentric mansion and an eccentric personality, and even just two minutes into their meeting already took its toll on Tsukishima’s and Yamaguchi’s sanity.

They were currently sitting patiently in one of the many tatami floored rooms his expansive, traditionally Japanese estate housed, surrounded by impressive artwork and with a perfect view on the massive koi pond that centered the inner courtyard. But no beauty in the world could have eased the tension in the room. Tsukishima next to him was visibly fighting a scowl, and Yamaguchi had to keep his eyes trained on the teacups in front of them to keep himself from rolling them at their client’s behavior.

“You should know every detail by now, why did I even hire you? I told you to fix it and it’s not fixed yet! You’re useless!”

Right. This is what Tsukishima’s father meant when he said their clientele was insufferable.

“Mitsunaka-san. The reason we’re here is that your wife threatened you, correct?”  
  
“Yes, of course that’s correct, get to the point!”

“Which is, if you would look at the files you sent us, _new_ information.”

“So? Just fix it!”

“Fix _what_ exactly?”

“Just stop her from making my junk go viral without taking all of my goddamn money, you idiot!”

Yamaguchi had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from bursting out into laughter. That was supposed to be _the f_ amous, awarded director that people praised like he was a god? He could barely answer a simple, logical question. He wondered how he had even made it that far.

Next to him, Tsukishima remained stoic. He was probably much more used to encounters like these, and Yamaguchi applauded him silently for his professionalism.

“Do you have proof of this threat? Written? Recorded?”  
  
Mitsunaka huffed his breath in annoyance but dug out his phone from the pocket of his jeans and threw it on the low table after unlocking it. A chatlog was on the screen, multiple messages of his soon-to-be-ex-wife and a video file.

“That bitch wants half of my net worth, a monthly allowance, and the fucking beach house in Okinawa, -“ the man ranted in anger, and Tsukishima raised an eyebrow when he noticed something missing.

“And the custody of your children?”

“Yeah that too, whatever.”

Great. Maybe the kids were better off with their mother after all. He’d have to talk to Tsukishima about that later. If they could arrange it just the right way and offered his wife the custody, she might let up on some of the other demands, making both happy and keeping the children in a favorable environment at the same time.

“Is that the video she threatened you with?” Yamaguchi inquired, eyeing the dark, blurry thumbnail of the file. It was a solid ten minutes long, but they had yet to see it.  
  
Mitsunaka stopped in his tracks, and for the very first time since they met him, he looked unsure of himself. The moment of vulnerability was gone as fast as it appeared though because he immediately wiped the hesitation away with anger.

“Of course it is! What else would it be?” 

He sighed quietly as Tsukishima started prodding him for more details and they fell into a discussion about copyright laws, all options open to him should she choose to publish the video, and possible amends to the divorce request to prevent it. They went back and forth forever, but no matter the solution offered, the possibility of her leaking the video was a threat in all of them.

Needless to say, Mitsunaka wasn’t very happy about that.

As the conversation became more frantic between the two, Tsukishima visibly having to control his annoyance and Mitsunaka letting it out freely, Yamaguchi thought’s circled back to what Satoru had said the day before.

_I’ll give you this one chance._

He had to think. Do something. Fix this. Fast.

Before he could stop himself, he had already burst out with it.

“Is there a reason you don’t want the tape to get leaked?”

Slowly, both of the other men’s heads turned towards him, Mitsunaka in anger and Tsukishima in shock. Yamaguchi definitely regretted it, but it was too late to take it back now.

“Is there anything you could lose?” Yamaguchi continued nevertheless.  
  
“My fucking dignity, you fucking idiot, isn’t that fucking obvious?” he spat out in anger, his face turning rosy with all the blood collecting in it.

Still, Yamaguchi was on a roll now. He’d had to get it out before he got kicked out. For good, probably.

“She will always have access to the tape, even after you settle on an agreement. The threat won’t disappear, and once it’s out, it will be almost impossible to track and take it down fully. But what’s the harm if she does?”  
  
The pink on Mitsunaka turned deep red. “Do you want to compare me to filthy pornstars? I’m not like one of those disgusting whores that have to sell their bodies for success. Nasty.” He spat the words out with so much venom that little drips of saliva flew through the room. “I’m not like that and I don’t want to be seen like that, and if you can’t understand that you can leave!”

_Ouch._

Filthy, disgusting, nasty whore, huh?

Maybe he could use that as Nyx's new profile description.

Next to him, Tsukishima tensed and gripped his thighs so hard his knuckles turned white. Despite his obvious discomfort, he remained silent, leaving Yamaguchi to deal with their angry client - rightfully. It was his fault he was angry, and it was his mess to fix. He only hoped that Tsukishima wouldn’t despise him after this.

“Hear me out, Mitsunaka-san, please. I do not mean to offend you in the slightest, I’m trying to find a way out of this without harming your reputation,” he amended, and it was apparently enough to convince him to at least let him keep going.

“The only way she has power over you is if you _let her_ have power over you.”

Mistunaka started protesting, but Yamaguchi kept going nevertheless. “What if you take that power back? She loses her pawn completely, and your image remains untouched. It’s a Win-Win, isn’t that what you want?”  
  
For a long minute, the room was silent.

Tsukishima was the first to regain his composure. “I apologize, Mitsunaka-san, we will-“  
  
The man interrupted him. “No, no, no shut up, I want to hear his proposal. Yamaguchi, was it? Spit it out. I know you have a plan and if it lets me keep my money and my image, that’s the only thing I care about.”  
  
The fish was on the hook.

Now Yamaguchi only had to reel it in.

“You’re a director, aren’t you? _The_ director. How many awards do you have in this house? Definitely enough to justify that you’re an artistic genius, right? “  
  
Mitsunaka tapped his foot impatiently but continued to listen. “Of course. What’s your point, exactly?”

Yamaguchi took a deep breath and already raised his hands defensively. He had to do this smartly. He only had one shot.

“Hear me out here, please: What I’m proposing is that you should use the video in your next film.”

Mitsunaka’s eyes bulged out in shock at the suggestion, but Yamaguchi just kept going.

“By publishing it yourself first, she loses all of her power over you. And if anyone could make a sex tape artistically valuable, it is you. Make a film out of it, keep your money, and if you’re as good as they say, you can probably get another couple of awards on top of it too. A director using his own sex tape? That’s as scandalous as it is revolutionary. Think about it.”

Yamaguchi could feel Tsukishima’s eyes staring into him, but he kept his gaze fixated on their client.

_Please don’t fire me, please don’t rip my head off, please consider it-_

“You’re a _genius_!” he yelled out, and in two steps the man had rounded the table and scooped Yamaguchi into his arms. “Genius! Brilliant! Revolutionary! You, son, have the brain of an artist, how did I not think of that?”

He let go of him again and started pacing the room restlessly while wrestling his phone out to type in a number. “I have a vision. A deconstructed autobiography. Holy shit, Hayao listen to this-“

Mitsunaka left the room, still rambling on the phone, leaving him behind with Tsukishima. Who was still staring at him. All at once, the situation caught up with Yamaguchi and he realized what just happened.

He had just told the most famous, most successful director, a big old rich asshole, to publish his own sex tape.

“Oh my god-“ he groaned and hid his face behind his hands, completely overwhelmed by the embarrassment and adrenaline rushing over him all at once.

Then he heard a chuckle. A chuckle that slowly merged into a full chested laugh. A moment later, Tsukishima was wheezing for air, trying desperately to calm down but failing miserably.

“T-tadashi-“ he laughed out, “Tadashi you- you, oh god-“

He just couldn’t stop, and at some point, the feeling sprung over to him too, pulling on the corners of his mouth and finally forcing him to giggle along with the blond.

“Fuck you really are a genius,” he finally said once he calmed down enough, and immediately, Yamaguchi’s cheeks heated up.

“I just-, I just panicked, and I had that idea, but I really thought he would execute me on the spot, oh god I was so scared Kei, what if it didn’t work out, I’m so sorry I could have ruined everything-”

Yamaguchi groaned and lifted his hands towards his face again, but he was stopped by Tsukishima’s fingers wrapping around his wrist halfway. He pulled his arm closer to him and essentially forced Yamaguchi to turn with it, facing him closely. Amber eyes stared at him, and it sent a shiver down his spine.  
  
“Don’t be sorry. You saved our asses. That was the coolest thing I’ve ever witnessed, and it worked out, so don’t you dare be sorry.” His words were stern and serious, and Yamaguchi could barely contain the feelings it stirred up inside him.

_I want to kiss him._

_I want to kiss him so, so, so fucking bad-_

“Tsukishima-san, Yamaguchi-san, Mitsunaka-san extends his gratitude. He will be in touch again, but you are free to leave now. Thank you for your visit,” a voice behind them interrupted, and once again, they jumped apart. A woman in formal wear stood in the doorway, probably a maid or assistant, and she held their coats over her arm already.

Yamaguchi sighed internally, but got up without complaints, following Tsukishima outside.

No kiss.

 _Not yet_ , his mind supplied, and he smiled to himself. They still had their date in front of them, and if he had reeled in one big fish already, he would have no trouble with the next.

Yamaguchi was on a roll.

Tsukishima stood no chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear loves!
> 
> Fun Fact 1: Writing this chapter started with panic! because I completely forgot to choose a name for Tsukki’s dad but I had already mentioned that it started it with an S and – well. I’ve been obsessed with Jujutsu Kaisen lately so here’s a tiny reference, both the name and the eyes. Kind of. Gojo Satoru is just significantly less asshole-y than Tsukishima Satoru. Fun Fact 2: I had the same problem with the divorce case name so I took the liberty of using the Haikyuu animation director’s name. I hope you guys don’t mind. 
> 
> Next time: a date, a good time, a catastrophe. 
> 
> Love, miso <3
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/messymiso)


	5. Stumbling, Falling, Pleasure, Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! 
> 
> Welcome back dear reader I hope you're doing well. You're finally getting some smut again this time, so quick content warning of subspace - but I won't go into it as much here as I will in upcoming chapters. 
> 
> Now enjoy: a bunch of firsts.

“What do you _mean_ you haven’t been to the castle?”

Tsukishima pouted.

“I just never had the time-“ he started, but Yamaguchi interrupted him before he could get out his rather pathetic excuse.

“Three times! You’ve been to Kyoto three times and you didn’t do _any_ sightseeing? You’re a disgrace to any tourist, like, ever!”

As much as Tsukishima wanted to disagree, Yamaguchi definitely had a point. He was a bad tourist indeed.

The worst, probably.

But today, Tsukishima had a chance to redeem himself.

They were currently walking through the castle gardens, steadily approaching the main building, and even though they arrived quite late in the afternoon, it was still way busier than Tsukishima would have thought. Yamaguchi walked next to him closely, both to take up less space in the crowd, and to save himself from the cold. He was halfway burying his face into his thick knit sweater and little clouds of air emerged from the fabric in the regular intervals of his breathing.

_Cute._

After Yamaguchi had successfully saved the day by taming Mitsunaka’s temper tantrum in record time, they had returned to the hotel to get changed and start fresh for their evening.

Not without a fight though.

“It’s no big deal, Kei, we can go now! I don’t mind, really,” Yamaguchi had assured him when they were in the cab back from the mansion and first heard the suggestion, but he was having none of it.

Today, Tsukishima was taking no chances.

He would take Yamaguchi on the perfect date.

No. Matter. What.

“I am absolutely not taking you on our first date straight from work. Besides, I’ve seen you in this outfit already, and I’m not supposed to do that yet. I’m pretty sure that’s a rule. Or something.”

That had made Yamaguchi break out in a laugh so loud, the driver eyed them suspiciously in the back mirror.

“Kei that’s-,” he wheezed, “That only applies to weddings, oh my God.”

“Oh.”

_Oops._

Fine. Maybe he just wasn’t experienced with these kinds of things.

So what if this was his first date? So what if he didn’t want anything to go wrong? So what if he just really, _really_ liked the idea of formally picking Yamaguchi up for their time together, and being able to admire his beauty as they did in the movies, even if it was only from the room right next to him?

So what if he was secretly a hopeless romantic at heart?

He definitely wouldn’t let Yamaguchi suffer through a cold evening date in an uncomfortable suit.

_Sue me._

It had absolutely been worth it too. Instead of his usual work attire, his date was dressed in a long brown and plaid coat - appropriate for the weather, like he had hoped - and his face was half-hidden underneath a thick dark green turtleneck sweater.

Yamaguchi looked perfect. Well, he _was_ perfect, either way, but seeing him wrapped up in cozy wool and glowing up at him with a healthy light pink flush to his cheeks was convincing Tsukishima that there would never be anyone more perfect than him.

A hand tugged on his sleeve, and Yamaguchi nodded towards the massive traditional arch they were approaching.

“Look, Kei! The palace!”

The already unwavering smile on Yamaguchi’s face grew impossibly wider at the sight of the buildings behind it, and he sped up, trying to reach it faster. “C’mon, c’mon,” he urged, pulling on the fabric on Tsukishima’s black coat again, and who was he to deny his date such a demand?

“Yes, yes,” he nodded and matched his step with Yamaguchi’s. Maybe he was being a little overenthusiastic because, after just a few strides, the man behind him had to hurry to catch up again. For a second, Tsukishima thought he should slow down again, but Yamaguchi’s face was determined, and just a blink of an eye later, he was being pulled along again by his sleeve, Yamaguchi speed walking ahead of him with vigor.

Huh. Okay, then.

Mentally, Tsukishima added _competitive_ to his ever-growing list of traits he noticed in Yamaguchi, saving the information in the back of his head. At this point, he already had quite an extensive archive of little habits and characteristics noted down in his imaginary brain folder, but there was something new to add to it every single day they spent together.

For the remaining distance to the main building, they raced each other.

Without ever falling into a jog, they overtook each other, over and over again, Tsukishima taking advantage of his long legs shamelessly, but Yamaguchi got right back at him by purposefully blocking him with unknowing pedestrians.

 _Tactical_ went straight into his folder on Yamaguchi’s personality.

 _A little mean_ right next to it.

When they finally arrived at the entrance, they were both breathing heavier than before, fogging up the cold air around them with clouds of puffy condensation.

“I won,” Yamaguchi declared proudly.

Tsukishima glared down at him. “Absolutely not. I won. You cheated,” he countered, but his competitor was not having it.

“Nope. We never established rules. I could have pushed you into that pond we passed, and it still wouldn’t have counted as cheating, because we never ever define that cheating was a thing in this competition in the first place. Therefore,” he grinned confidently, “I win.”

Tsukishima stared down at him with amusement.

“You definitely wanted to push me into that pond, didn’t you?”

Immediately, Yamaguchi started sputtering that he would _never_ do something like that, but he just couldn’t wipe that smug grin off his face no matter how hard he tried.

 _Awful actor_ found its place two folders down from _evil tendencies._

“I would have pushed myself into that pond too, no shame. I know you wanted to.”

Finally, a coy smile took the place of Yamaguchi’s horrible, fake apology.

“Of course I wanted to. But I didn’t want you to use wet shoes as an excuse to get out of this trip. I’m not leaving here before we’ve seen every single dusty corner of this castle, and at least three ghosts, and/or angered spirits. Maybe I’ll push you into the pond once we’re done.”

 _Evil tendencies_ was replaced by _evil – just evil._

“I’d like to see you try,” Tsukishima shot back, but Yamaguchi just beamed up at him with a smug grin.

“Don’t you dare underestimate me, Tsukishima Kei. I bet you’re gonna be choking on these words in gross pond water later.”

“You’re on.”

Tsukishima reached out his hand to him, and Yamaguchi took it enthusiastically, nodding in satisfaction at the deal.

“You’re on.”

As soon as their hands met, Tsukishima grinned. Now it was his time to be smug.

_Perfect._

Yamaguchi had walked blindly, right into his trap.

Instead of letting go again, Tsukishima gripped his hand tightly and tugged - with probably a little more force than necessary - but it did its job. Yamaguchi stumbled closer to him, surprise on his face, and he would have crashed right into his side if he hadn’t already started walking towards the door of the castle.

Without looking back, he pulled his overwhelmed date along with him and right into the beginning of the tourist route that was suggested by little signs around the premises.

“C’mon. If you want to see every single corner of this castle and/or at least three ghosts, we have to get going already or it’s going to be too dark by the time you push me into the pond. You wouldn’t get the full experience. That’d be quite disappointing, don’t you think?”

Yamaguchi didn’t respond and worry sparked in Tsukishima’s stomach, but when he turned around to check on him, he was smiling softly, gaze fixated on their intertwined hands.

_Easily pleased._

“Mkay. Let’s go, Kei,” he finally said, and the grip on his hand became a little stronger.

Tsukishima suppressed a grin.

_Perfect._

_He’s perfect._

Over the next hour or two, they roamed the castle grounds, checked every dusty corner for a ghost, and pointedly stopped in front of every little river or koi pond they came across in the gardens.

Not once did Yamaguchi let go of his hand.

\---

“Uwah that was great! Those were the best dumplings I’ve had, like, _ever_! How’d you even find this spot? I would have totally walked past that street.”

Tsukishima smiled to himself. “Just a hunch.”

His phone’s search history and the extensive notes he made to find the street without having to check his navigation app were judging him profoundly.

“Your hunches are quite something then,” Yamaguchi beamed and, without missing a beat, grabbed his arm and pressed himself right up against his side. Even through all the layers of clothing between them, his presence was warm, and Tsukishima reveled in the feeling that his date was comfortable enough with him to just go for obvious contact like that, even in public.

Yamaguchi was so much braver than him, but – well, Tsukishima was something of a sore loser. 

He wouldn’t be one-upped.

So, against his usual aversion to public displays of affection and his underlying fear of judgment he wrapped an arm around Yamaguchi’s shoulder and pulled him just a little closer.

“O-oh,” Yamaguchi half shrieked, half whispered as he stumbled into him even more, but when Tsukishima eyed him from above to check on him, he was smiling warmly and snuggled closer into his side.

“Okay?” he asked anyway, just to make sure, and he got an enthusiastic nod back.

“Very okay.”

Half-wrapped up in each other, they slowly walked through the dark streets of Kyoto, only illuminated by the warm streetlights and the lanterns hanging in front of the shops and restaurants they passed, comfortable silence between them.

Being with Yamaguchi was nice.

It felt natural, like they had known each other their entire lives, like Tsukishima didn’t just meet him less than a month ago, like they had been friends forever. For once in his life, he felt like he didn’t have to constantly be on his tiptoes like he did with others, no sign of the all-consuming fear of ruining a connection looming over him with every word he said whenever he was pushed into a social setting.

He had never been good with people.

Not having time to play with his peers as a child really didn’t help with developing social skills, and neither did his general lack of understanding for anything between reading cues to understanding jokes and sarcasm. He had picked up on a few things here and there, copying his classmates wherever he could, but it was never quite enough.

Tsukishima knew he came off as rude more often than not, and at some point in his adolescence he had just given up on trying. It was as exhausting as it was futile, and his general strategy of surviving interactions with people became the very simple but effective _avoid-everyone-as-much-as-you-can_.

It had worked surprisingly well too – until Yamaguchi had stumbled into his life and avoidance suddenly wasn’t an option for him anymore.

As intimidating as the constant presence near him was at first, he truly appreciated Yamaguchi’s persistence, and at this point, he wasn’t sure whether he could ever be without him again. His little jokes that he whispered under his breath when he thought no one could hear him, his stupid challenges over seemingly unimportant things, his anecdotes about anything and everything, Tsukishima needed them just as much like he needed the air around him.

He _needed_ Yamaguchi.

There was no way around it, and Tsukishima would do anything to keep him.

“Kei, oh my God, look at that!”

Right next to him, Yamaguchi nudged him one, two, three times to get his attention, and when Tsukishima looked down, his eyes were glued on something ahead of them.

He followed his line of sight and landed on an outdoor ice rink.

Tsukishima had a bad feeling about that.

“Please tell me you can skate,” Yamaguchi asked, and Tsukishima just sighed.

Of course he couldn’t skate.

His defeated expression merely got laughed at. “That’s a no, huh? Well, today’s your lucky day because I, the great Yamaguchi Tadashi,” he pointed at himself proudly, “will teach you!”

“Tadashi, I’m not sure that’s-“ he tried, but Yamaguchi interrupted him.

“Nope, no, absolutely not. I won’t take no as an answer.”

Tsukishima pulled a face, and he amended, voice a little softer now. “At least try? Please? I promise I won’t let you fall.”

Looking into Yamaguchi’s puppy dog eyes definitely was a mistake on Tsukishima’s part, because there was absolutely no way he would be able to deny him that request now. Not when he was so excited about it. And even less if he promised to help him through it.

“Ugh. Fine.”

Yamaguchi’s eyes sparked, and immediately, he jumped up and down next to him with a little cheer. A second later, he grabbed his hand again, and then they were rushing towards the illuminated rink in the middle of the city.

Tsukishima’s stomach churned.

Rightfully so, as he discovered several minutes later when he tried to stand up on wobbly feet, tied tightly into borrowed skates, clutching Yamaguchi’s hand tighter than he would have liked to admit as they made their way over to the ice. His date just laughed at his embarrassing attempts at walking on stupidly thin blades, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t imagining the evil gleam in his eyes every time he was about to fall over.

And they hadn’t even made it onto the ice yet.

“Alright, let me get on first, then I’ll help you up,” Yamaguchi instructed, already setting one foot onto the slippery, intimidating surface. Tsukishima held onto the railing while he did, not even able to stand just like that, and he felt positively pathetic.

Wasn’t the whole point of a date to try to impress the other? Because this was seriously doing more harm to his image in front of Yamaguchi than anything ever before.

Eyes glued onto him; Tsukishima watched as he lifted himself onto the ice carefully and tested out the glide, immediately brightening up when he moved smoothly down a few meters only to turn back around in a half-circle and approaching him with an outstretched hand and a blinding smile.

“C’mon, Kei! The ice is great! Ahh, I’ve missed this so much!”

Skeptically, Tsukishima grabbed the offered hand and, without letting go of the railing even once, lifted one foot onto the ice carefully. Immediately, his weight shifted, and he was leaning dangerously far, dangerously fast into one direction, threatening to fall over – but a firm hand grabbed his waist and kept him from toppling over completely.

Yamaguchi held him securely, bend over along with him to stop him from falling, which unfortunately placed his face incredibly close to his own. Tsukishima was awe-struck as he stared into his deep eyes, illuminated by the warm lanterns and fairy lights strung around the rink, and for a moment he completely forgot about his embarrassing situation and his fear of the ice.

“Careful,” Yamaguchi just said, smooth and cheerful like always, and with one swift tug of his hands, he pulled Tsukishima along with him.

Before he knew it, he was standing on the ice.

Without falling over. 

“Thanks,” Tsukishima grumbled, still a little disoriented, but at least he was standing securely now, one hand firmly in Yamaguchi’s, the other on the railing. The hand that had caught him was still pressed against his lower back, radiating warmth through his coat.

He felt like a child that was trying to walk for the first time again, but somehow, he had no incentive to complain when it gave him an excuse to revel in Yamaguchi’s touch.

“Try to move, Kei, I promise it’s fun!” his date encouraged, and Tsukishima gave in.

Carefully, he moved his right foot forward, still clutching at the rail, but then he was moving and – it wasn’t so bad?

“Oh.”

Yamaguchi chuckled, patiently sliding next to him as he inched along the sides, one half-step-half-glide at a time. Once Tsukishima made it safely down the first length of the rink, they stopped in the corner and Yamaguchi praised him, wide eyes and a huge grin on his face.

“You did it, Kei! That was great!”

He grimaced. 

“You don’t have to lie, Tadashi, I almost fell five times,” Tsukishima shot back, but he secretly soaked up the praise like a sponge.

It was nice to be acknowledged for trying.

“That’s fine though, seriously. When I first started, I fell on my ass at least a hundred times. Probably. Mostly because Shouyou kept pushing me over but at least you’re already doing way better than me! That’s something, isn’t it?”

Tsukishima snorted. “That Shouyou sounds like a real pain in the ass.”

“Oh he absolutely is,” Yamaguchi laughed. “I had my hands full with keeping him out of trouble in school. Who am I kidding, I still do now, really, but he’s great, absolutely.”

With a little push to the side railing, Yamaguchi started skating again, dragging Tsukishima along with him carefully. They made their rounds, slowly, as he told him more about his friends and volleyball club back home in Miyagi.

He spoke fondly of Shouyou who was playing professionally in Osaka now, worried about his senpai who became a director after graduation and who he dearly hoped would never come into contact with Mitsunaka, joked about his rivalry with Inarizaki’s captain and the mishap with his brother, and reveled in memories of his mentor and boss at a part-time convenience store job who taught him serving.

“Why did you come out here to Tokyo? You seemed to like it there,” Tsukishima inquired after their third round around the rink.

Yamaguchi sighed. “Uni. Job opportunities. All that stuff, you know? Todai has the best program around after all and I didn’t want to miss out on that.” He turned around on the ice, skating backward now to look at him. “On top of that, it scored me this internship, didn’t it? And I can always go visit home.” He smiled brightly and it warmed Tsukishima’s heart up, the feeling spreading through his chest and down his limbs slowly, steadily.

He nodded sluggishly, eyes fixated on the man in front of him who left home with a heavy heart to be here, and suddenly, Tsukishima was overwhelmed with adoration.

Suddenly, the hand holding his wasn’t enough anymore. Suddenly, he needed to be closer, needed to express the overwhelming whatever it was that he felt, no matter what.

So he did a stupid thing.

Even though Tsukishima was still unstable on his skates, and in no way capable of moving on his own, he attempted to anyway, scooting towards Yamaguchi with a little bit too much enthusiasm.

Two things happened at once.

For one, Tsukishima fully, utterly, and completely lost his balance, stumbling forward with so much momentum that he crashed down to his knees at full force, a sharp pain shooting up both of his legs the moment they met the ice with all of his body weight.

For the other, his little stunt pulled Yamaguchi right down along with him, forcing him to fall back onto his hands and behind with a surprised yelp - which left them in the following predicament:

Tsukishima was kneeling between Yamaguchi’s spread thighs, bent over him slightly since he tried to catch himself with his hands – effectively caging Yamaguchi in between his arms, his looming torso, and the ice beneath them. Their faces were mere inches apart, and Yamaguchi was staring up at him in shock, barely having registered what had just happened to him.

“K-kei, are you okay?” he started, but the words barely reached Tsukishima.

His eyes were fixated onto Yamaguchi’s soft, moving lips. They were slightly paler than usual, probably from the cold air, and little puffs of condensated breath left his mouth with every word he spoke. He had a handful of freckles adorning this part of his face too, one on the left side of his upper lip, barely visible from any other viewpoint, but Tsukishima was close, so, _so_ close and now Yamaguchi was staring at him with this look in his eyes and – were his lips moving again? Maybe he should listen to what he was saying, tune his hearing back with his surroundings, pay attention to something other than the overwhelming urge to kiss him stupid-

“-f you don’t kiss me right fucking now, I’ll throw a fit Kei, I swear,” Yamaguchi whisper-hissed at him with a pout, and finally, the words registered in his brain.

_Kiss me._

_Kiss him?_

_I can kiss Yamaguchi?_

_Yamaguchi wants me to kiss him?_

_Oh my god he wants me to kiss him, move, do something, anything -_

A rough hand grabbed the front of his sweater and yanked him out of his spiraling thoughts, and before he knew what was going on, soft lips slammed against his.

Tsukishima ripped his eyes wide open and sure enough, Yamaguchi was right there, kissing him with furrowed brows and pinched eyes.

His breath caught in his throat in surprise, but Yamaguchi only pressed closer, and finally, Tsukishima softened against him, giving himself up completely in the feeling of warmth and pleasant tingles against his lips. Carefully, he kissed back, shutting his own eyes again to savor the moment and brand the sensation into his memory forever.

Yamaguchi was warm against him, tender even in his sudden, frantic movement, and Tsukishima completely melted, turning to nothing but pliant, blissed-out mush under his touch.

When they broke apart again - way too soon in Tsukishima’s opinion - they were both panting for air, their faces so close still that they were breathing each other in and out. For a moment, they just stared at each other, Yamaguchi’s eyes dark and a little glossy in the soft light around them, and he looked flushed, glowing, beautiful under him.

The situation finally, _finally_ registered in Tsukishima’s brain and his expression must have looked stupid enough to make Yamaguchi snort at the sight of it, and a moment later he was giggling and laughing and snickering and Tsukishima really had no other choice but to join in with him.

“Kei, Kei, Kei,” Yamaguchi muttered finally after calming down enough to talk, and he reached for his face again, cradling it softly between his cold fingers. Tsukishima leaned into his touch, warming his freezing skin with his heated cheek.

“Cold,” Tsukishima mumbled out and Yamaguchi frowned, but before he could pull his hands away again, Tsukishima reached for them and brought them to his lips, placing little kisses down on each of his knuckles and more on his palms. When he was done, he enclosed both of them in his own hands, rubbing to keep them warm.

Faint childhood memories popped up in the back of Tsukishima’s head, but he smothered them down again quickly.

Yamaguchi. He had to focus on Yamaguchi.

“Let’s get up, Tadashi. You’ll catch a cold.”

“M’kay.”

Somehow, with much more struggling than Tsukishima would have liked to admit, they managed to stand up again on the ice without falling right back down again. Tsukishima winced at his sore, achy knees which were probably sporting nice red-ish purple bruises by now, but he couldn’t get himself to dwell on the pain when Yamaguchi sported such a dopey smile on his face.

His date was radiating delight and content, and Tsukishima was happy.

Because he put that smile on Yamaguchi’s face.

“You know, I didn’t think you’d be that shy,” Yamaguchi finally admitted after another half circle around the rink. “You’re so confident. I thought you’d be the type to just go for it.”

Tsukishima chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “You think so?”

“Duh. Look at you. All smug and intimidating. But then you turn around and can’t even kiss your cute, handsome, and – in my humble opinion - very kissable date.

He snorted. “You are very kissable indeed. I think. As far as I can judge, anyway.”

Yamaguchi cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

“You’ll have to figure that one out yourself, dear.”

Tsukishima smiled as he watched the gears visibly turning in his date’s head, thinking and thinking and thinking until-

Realization fell over Yamaguchi’s face and he spun around on his skates, eyes, and mouth wide open.

“No way. No. Way.”

“Yes way,” Tsukishima answered, amused at his reaction.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Sadly, I can’t exactly get any evidence to prove myself. You’ll just have to believe me.”

Yamaguchi stopped and blocked his way, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and proceeded to stare him dead in the eye. “Look at you. You’re,-” he gestured around wildly as if that would explain his point any better _._

 _Cute_.

“There’s no way you’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“False. I just did. Like two minutes ago. I hope you haven’t forgotten yet, Tadashi, that would be a little concerning-“

“Ugh, shut up, you know what I mean.” Yamaguchi rolled his eyes and pouted.

_Cute._

He was about to continue when something else seemed to cross his mind. Tsukishima followed his eyes as they ran over him once, all the way down to his skates and back up to meet his eyes. A soft blush crept onto Yamaguchi’s face, along with a slowly widening smile.

“Oh,” he stated.

Tsukishima didn’t quite follow.

“Does that mean-? Does that mean you have never-“

Nevermind.

Tsukishima did follow.

He smiled. “It does.”

Yamaguchi’s smirk deepened and he reached to grab his hand again.

“Feel like going back yet?”

And oh did Tsukishima follow.

\---  
  


They were quiet almost all of the way back to the hotel, but Yamaguchi could feel the tension between them through their intertwined hands.

As soon as the door to Tsukishima’s room fell into its lock, Yamaguchi felt hands on his shoulders, and then he was pushed against the wood, Tsukishima towering over him with a look in his eyes that only meant one thing.

Yamaguchi chuckled. “Eager tonight, are we?”

The hands on his shoulders lessened their hold slightly, but Tsukishima stayed as close as he was, their noses almost touching. “I’m not at all ashamed to admit that. Not when you’re this,-” he let his eyes sweep over his face, lingering at his lips for a moment, “ _kissable_.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Not having to be told twice, Tsukishima dipped down and captured his lips in a searing kiss as soon as the words left his mouth. 

It was nothing like the kiss they had back at the ice rink, no hint left of Tsukishima’s clumsy reluctance. He was more confident now, more possessive in the way he let his hands slide down Yamaguchi’s sides, slipping off his coat in the process and landing on his hips with a tight grip as their lips met over and over again.

It was intoxicating.

As was the thought of being Tsukishima’s first.

Yamaguchi sighed against his lips, shifting their bodies even closer so their fronts were pressed together fully, and then let his mouth wander away, tenderly kissing down his neck. He let his hands slip under Tsukishima’s clothes, running them over the smooth, soft skin of his back and slowly helping him out of his jacket too, dropping it carelessly to the floor to join his own. Never once did his lips leave the skin of his neck and when he reached the hem of Tsukishima’s top, he pulled the fabric down so he could pepper his collarbones with little kisses and gentle bites.

Tsukishima groaned quietly and tilted his head back to give him better access to his skin, subconsciously rubbing his hard-on against his hip.

 _Good,_ he thought _._

_I’ll make it good for you._

_I’ll make it so good for you it will ruin you for anyone else._

Immediately, Yamaguchi shook that last idea off again because that was _definitely_ a bad thought.

Bad Tadashi. Very bad.

Even if it made him ache a little more, even if it tightened the growing heat in his stomach, even if it made his mind swirl through a million different, delicious scenarios, it was a bad thought, nevertheless.

 _Ruin him – responsibly?_ his mind supplied and yeah. He could live with that.

“C’mon, Kei,” he mumbled against his warm skin and tugged his sleeve. “Bed?”

Tsukishima hummed in agreement and, although reluctantly, pulled away enough to free him from the door. When they next locked eyes, the usual sharp honey of his eyes was hazed over with lust and desire, his cheeks flushed, his lips red and glistening.

Yamaguchi’s dick twitched.

If the blond already looked this wrecked after a few kisses, he could only imagine the beautiful image of him coming undone completely. He’d make Tsukishima fall apart tonight, and he’d enjoy every second of it.

Responsibly, of course.

Still intertwined in each other, they started stumbling towards the bed, Yamaguchi pushing Tsukishima backward further and further until the back of his knees hits the mattress and he fell onto it, placing him right below him.

Without further ado, Yamaguchi dropped to his knees.

“T-tadashi,-“ Tsukishima started, voice shaky, but he shushed him.

“Let me take care of you, Kei. Please. I want to.”

The blond visibly swallowed and then nodded, face red and eyes hazy.

As Yamaguchi placed his hands onto Tsukishima’s jeans, running them over his thighs and making the man shiver under his touch, he said, “Tell me what you’re thinking, Kei, tell me what you want. I won’t do anything you don’t like. Just say the word and I’ll stop, understand?”

Again, Tsukishima nodded. Yamaguchi placed a kiss on his thigh and then, when he got no reply, bit him lightly through the fabric in the same spot, earning a half-muffled whine from him.

“Words, Kei. Can you do that for me?”  
  
“Y-yeah,” he managed to get out, and immediately, Yamaguchi rewarded him with another couple of kisses up his legs.

“Good. Now tell me, Kei, what do you want?”

Above him, Tsukishima bit his lip, clearly struggling to form words. It was adorable how out of it he already was, from just a few touches here and a couple words there, but Yamaguchi needed a yes first – no matter what.

“Kei?”

Tsukishima breathed deeply, collecting himself, before finally speaking.

“You. I want you.”

Excitement flooded Yamaguchi and he beamed up at him, reaching to cup his cheeks and kissing him deeply. They broke apart breathlessly after just a few seconds, but they were both burning with desire and by now, Yamaguchi was itching to touch him, feel him, taste him.

He sunk back to the floor and ran his hands up Tsukishima’s thighs, keeping steady pressure on them until they reached the top of his jeans.

“May I?” Yamaguchi asked, and Tsukishima nodded hastily.

“Please,” he got out, voice strained, and it was the hottest thing he had ever heard.

The button and zipper were open immediately, pants pulled down in a rush, and finally, Yamaguchi freed what was hidden beyond.

“Pretty,” he breathed out, and it was no lie.

Eagerly, Yamaguchi placed a kiss on the wet, drooly tip of his flushed cock and above him, Tsukishima sucked in a sharp breath, shuddering at the contact and gripping the sheets with white knuckles. His face was tinted red and scrunched together in concentration, and Yamaguchi couldn’t help but smile brightly at the beautiful view of seeing Tsukishima Kei’s oh so well-kept façade crumble apart piece by piece under his touch.

_Cute._

“Relax Kei. I’ll take care of you, mh?” he whispered against him, his close breath making Tsukishima’s dick twitch against his lower stomach, and Yamaguchi reached to hold it at the base, wrapping his fingers around it just firmly enough to keep it where he wanted it.

“Tadashi-“

“Yes, baby?”

The pet name made Tsukishima whine lowly and he tried to hide his face behind his hands, but Yamaguchi was faster, quickly using his free hand to keep them from obstructing his view.

“I want to see you. You look so good, Kei, don’t hide from me. Please?”

Reluctantly, Tsukishima lowered his hands again and Yamaguchi slid one of them into his, interlocking their fingers and starting to brush his thumb over the back of his hand in a soothing motion. Tsukishima relaxed and sighed, mumbling something so inaudibly Yamaguchi couldn’t make it out.

“Mh?” he inquired, and Tsukishima turned even redder.

“Touch me,” he repeated, still nothing more than a whisper but this time, he understood. “Please,” he added, and Yamaguchi chuckled a little at his eagerness.

“Of course, baby.”

Without further ado, he wrapped his lips around Tsukishima’s cock and took him halfway down his mouth in one swift go. Immediately, the hand that wasn’t holding his shot to Yamaguchi’s head and he felt fingers bury themselves in his hair, grabbing on tightly. Tsukishima groaned and shivered and held on for his dear life and it was so endearing that Yamaguchi smiled, even with a dick between his lips.

As he started to move, flattening his tongue down the velvety skin and tightening his lips around his shaft, Tsukishima ran his hands through his hair, over and over again. The muscles of his thighs were tense, flexing with every bob of Yamaguchi’s head, and it was clear that he was holding himself back from thrusting right into him.

Such a gentleman.

After a few more strokes with his tongue, every movement of his head down taking Tsukishima deeper and deeper until the tip was hitting the entrance of his throat, Yamaguchi pulled off with a wet _pop_ , drool making his cock glisten prettily.

“You don’t have to hold back, Kei, I can take it,” he said, and Tsukishima’s eyes widened.

“Tadashi I-“ he started, “I didn’t mean to-“  
  
Yamaguchi chuckled and shook his head. “I know you didn’t, baby, but I want you to. Don’t hold back, please.”

Without waiting for a reply, Yamaguchi pulled himself back on his cock, swallowing him down as far as he could go without opening his throat.

“Fuck, ah-,“ Tsukishima cursed out and this time, his hips didn’t stop the thrusting he wanted to do so desperately. Yamaguchi choked a little at the sudden pressure, and it brought tears to his eyes, but it was exactly what he had been waiting for. Carefully, he stretched his throat, concentrating on breathing through his nose steadily, and then Tsukishima’s tip slipped past and right past the barrier with a sinful moan.

Yamaguchi let go of the base and instead gripped Tsukishima’s thigh for support as his entire length disappeared down his mouth, so far down he could have licked his balls if he reached out with his tongue. Through his veil of tears, he saw Tsukishima’s blissful face, red, panting, groaning, whining with every little movement of either of them.

This image would be burned into his memory forever, no doubt.

“Tadashi, Tadashi, fuck, ah-,“ Tsukishima mumbled as he fucked his throat, thrusting into his mouth and holding him right where he wanted him with a tight grip in his hair. Yamaguchi would have whined if his throat wasn’t stuffed full of hot, wet, pulsating skin.

He could feel his pace quickening, his thrusting becoming more and more desperate, his groans louder and hoarser, and Yamaguchi already prepared to swallow down the inevitable load of cum when he was suddenly pulled off Tsukishima’s cock by a rough yank of his hair.

A little puzzled and lightheaded from the sudden influx of oxygen and the brash movement, Yamaguchi stared up at him in confusion. Above him, Tsukishima was shaking all over and breathing heavily, face flushed so red that, for a moment, Yamaguchi wondered how he kept his dick that hard when all of his blood clearly went to his head.

“Kei-,” he started, but Tsukishima shook his head.

“Y-you,” he managed to get out between gasps of air, “Want-, You, ‘Dashi. Please-”

_Oh._

Immediately, Yamaguchi got up and basically launched himself at Tsukishima, pushing him down until he was lying on the mattress and caging him in between his legs and arms.

“Of course, Kei, of course,” he mumbled as he hovered down to kiss him deeply, shifting his weight on one hand so he could run the other under his sweater and over his skin, pushing the fabric up to expose him. Tsukishima whined against his lips and did the same, both hands working to push off his clothes, and, after a bit of wrestling, they were finally both fully exposed.

In awe, Tsukishima reached towards his right nipple, brushing his fingers over the jewelry gently and rubbing over it with just enough pressure to make Yamaguchi twitch against him. He hesitated for a second, but then Tsukishima let his hands slide down, wrapping them and around his waist and - with strength Yamaguchi had not expected at all, suddenly flipped him around, making his back hitting the mattress.

Tsukishima was towering over him with hunger in his eyes and Yamaguchi wouldn’t have been surprised if he would have gotten mauled right then and there.

“C’mon, Kei,” he enticed, arching his back up seductively so their bodies pressed together in midair and coaxing a low groan out of Tsukishima’s throat.

He dove down to mouth at his neck and his kisses quickly turned into biting, sucking at the sensitive skin so hard Yamaguchi was sure it would leave marks the next morning.

_Good._

_Claim me._

As Tsukishima kissed and sucked down his torso, his hands moved further down, over his sides until they settled on his hips. He stopped for a moment and looked down at him, and Yamaguchi felt like he was eating him up with his eyes, undressing him even if he was already as naked as the day he was born.

“So beautiful, Tadashi,” he said, caressing the skin around his hipbone gently and it sent shivers down Yamaguchi’s spine, lighting a fire in him.

“Keiii-,” he whined, squirming under his touch. “Touch me already.”

Now it was his turn to chuckle at him. “Yes, yes, your highness. So demanding.”

“I wouldn’t have to be if you weren’t being such a te-“

He never got to finish that sentence.

All at once, long, slender fingers wrapped tightly around his weeping cock and a hot mouth started lapping at his nipple, making Yamaguchi choke on his own words. With a pathetic sound, he arched into the touch, thrusting his hips into Tsukishima’s hand involuntarily.

“Mgh, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he cursed, and he could feel Tsukishima’s lips curl into a smile against the skin on his chest. He licked over his nipple, sucking it into his mouth before pulling it between his lips and lifting his head with it, making Yamaguchi yelp out.

His big hand felt amazing on Yamaguchi’s length, covering way more skin than his own could, and the feeling was so goddamn intoxicating he was sure he would lose his mind.

It wasn’t long until he could feel his stomach tighten, his leg muscles flexing, the heat in his belly coiling, and his moans got needier and louder with each flick of Tsukishima’s wrist and tongue.

“Kei, I’m-” he started, but he was cut off with a searing kiss.

Tsukishima hummed against his lips and then Yamaguchi felt a hot weight against his groin. Their cocks were rubbing together now, warm, slick skin pressed together between Tsukishima’s hand and Yamaguchi’s torso and it felt so, so, _so good_ -

“Tadashi, fuck,” Tsukishima panted between kisses, and his voice was so raspy it made Yamaguchi shake and shiver. He thrust against him faster, so close to bliss, whining and moaning against wet lips and pressing against hot skin until he finally tipped over, Tsukishima’s name on his lips.

Yamaguchi instinctively laced his fingers through his blond hair, pulling him down against his neck, and throwing his own head back against the sheets as he rode out the waves of pleasure washing over him. He barely felt the wet, hot cum splattering his chest, so caught up in the electrifying feeling that shook his entire body to the core.

When he pried his eyes open again, sucking air into his lungs like he just ran a marathon, he stared right into wide gold. Tsukishima was looking at him in hazed awe, mouth open slightly as he breathed just as heavy as Yamaguchi.

“Wow,” he breathed out, and Yamaguchi huffed out a quiet laugh.

_Cute._

Coming to his senses slowly, eyesight clearing along with his head, he let his gaze run over Tsukishima’s flushed face, his red lips, and all the way down where his cock was still rock hard and leaking, hanging heavily between his legs.

Yamaguchi clicked his tongue. “Look at that. Here I said I’d take care of you and now you made me cum first. That’s not very polite of me, is it?”

He didn’t give him any time to answer and instead took advantage of his post-nut-clarity and Tsukishima’s half-gone state, reaching down between them swiftly to grab his dick, and making him wince at the sudden contact.

“Tadashi, please,” Tsukishima pleaded out, voice almost pained with desire, and Yamaguchi didn’t need to be asked twice.

“I got you, Kei, relax. C’mon,” he said soothingly, coaxing him to roll over onto his back again so Yamaguchi could reach him better in all the right places.

He was beautiful like this, flushed, hazy, unraveled.

Yamaguchi took his time kissing over his torso and thighs, smoothing his hands over any skin he could reach, and it may have been a little mean to not hurry up now, but he wanted to savor the day he made The Great Tsukishima Kei fall apart underneath him for the very first time.

And oh did he fall apart.

“Tadashi, please, please, please.”

“One more kiss, baby, you taste so good.”

“Please,” he whined again, trying to writhe out of his touch, but in his state, Yamaguchi had no trouble keeping him down.

“Look at you, Kei, so pretty.”

“Please, ‘Dashi, _please_ ,” he pleaded, and this time, Yamaguchi obeyed.

One hand firmly placed on his hip to keep Tsukishima steady, he wrapped the other around the base of his now deep red cock and finally dove down again to swallow him into his mouth. The salty taste of precum leaking all over his head hit Yamaguchi the same time the strangled sound left Tsukishima’s throat, and immediately, hands were on the back of his head, pushing him further down.

Yamaguchi let him fuck into his throat with pleasure.

“Tadashi, fuck, feel- ahh, so good Tadashi,” he babbled above him, and Yamaguchi would have praised him – if he wouldn’t have been completely unable to talk. Instead, he petted the skin on his lower back encouragingly, hoping to get the message across.

It wasn’t long until Tsukishima’s thrusts became more erratic, stuttering only to speed up again, and along with it, his moans got hoarser and louder. Yamaguchi could feel his cock twitch in his mouth, and a moment later, Tsukishima stilled completely, holding his breath and scratching his nails against Yamaguchi’s scalp.

Then, his entire body shuddered with a sinful moan and hot, bitter cum flooded Yamaguchi’s mouth.

Immediately, Tsukishima’s body went slack, falling against the sheets as his tense muscles finally relaxed, and as he did, Yamaguchi slid off his dick, all the cum he couldn’t swallow spilling from his mouth. He coughed a few times, both to clear his throat from liquid and to release the strain on it a little, but he would take all the sore throats in the world to have this view forever.

Completely blissed out, breathing heavily and flushed red almost head to toe, Tsukishima looked the most beautiful he had ever seen him. 

Happy with his work, Yamaguchi crawled up the bed to lie next to his pretty mess, placing one hand over his chest and treading the other through his hair, gently stroking his head as he watched Tsukishima slowly come to. It took him a while, much longer than himself, but he finally started moving again and opening his eyes, blinking lazily against the lights.

“How are you feeling Kei?” he asked, smiling at Tsukishima warmly, but he didn’t get any reaction back whatsoever.

Gently, he moved to cup his cheek, brushing a finger over the pink skin with just enough pressure to get him to lean into his hand. “Kei?” he asked again, but nothing.

Tsukishima’s eyes were unfocussed, hazed over completely, and it was starting to worry Yamaguchi.

“Kei, hey, are you with me?” he tried once more, and this time Tsukishima moved his head into the barest hint of a nod, his reaction time delayed by long, long seconds.

_It looks almost like –_

_No way._

_So fast?  
_

The unresponsiveness, the faraway eyes, the delayed reaction – all signs pointed at the possibility that Tsukishima had just slipped into subspace.

Fuck. 

Any other time, Yamaguchi would have been thrilled to experience this with him, honored to take care of him in such an intimate way, but here, in a strange place, with a completely new partner?

Not ideal.

Yamaguchi scanned the room in search for something to help ease Tsukishima out of his headspace gently, and, after a second, spotted exactly what he was looking for.

He slowly started to get up, intending to quickly grab the bottle of water sitting on the desk across the room, but a hand grabbed his wrist and yanked him back, effectively pulling him back onto the bed and sprawling him halfway over Tsukishima’s lap.

Arms wrapped around him, as fast as they would move in their lazy state, and a face buried itself against Yamaguchi’s shoulder. Tsukishima mumbled a few words, so quiet it was almost inaudible.

“No,” he could make out, barely.

“Stay.”

It hit right in his heart.

Immediately, Yamaguchi went to wiggle around - gently, of course, no sudden movements so he wouldn’t startle another bad reaction - and he wrapped his arms tightly around Tsukishima, cradling him against his chest and stroking through his hair gently.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here, Kei, I’m here. Not going anywhere.”

“Mh, ‘dashi.”

Tsukishima nuzzled into his chest and held him tight in his lap. Yamaguchi almost felt like a dragon hoard’s most treasured piece.

They stayed like that for a long while, bodies intertwined, whispering sweet nothings at each other, caressing and holding their lover until, slowly, step by step, Tsukishima starts resurfacing. His mumbled sounds formed words, his words short sentences, and gradually, his movements became faster.

When they next interlocked eyes, the honey color was back, sharp and bright.

Yamaguchi kissed him.

Tsukishima kissed him back.

“Welcome back,” he whispered, and he knew it was true when Tsukishima started chuckling at him.

“I wasn’t gone, Tadashi.”

“Yes you were! You scared me, Kei! Give me a little acknowledgment here,” he pouted, but it quickly turned into a smile when he was hugged closely and peppered with kisses. 

“Thanks for taking care of me,” Tsukishima said, honestly this time.

Yamaguchi felt warm. 

“Anytime, Kei.”

They stayed like that in silence, just a little longer, but they could only hold out so much until their sticky skin became uncomfortable.

“Bath. I’m gross.”

“If you would let me go for a minute, I could go run us one.”

“No.”

“Kei, you clingy bastard, come on already.”

“No.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

Running a bath with a 6-foot-and-3-inches tall man clinging to his back was probably the most tedious thing Yamaguchi had ever done but seeing Tsukishima’s dopey smirk in the massive bathroom mirror made it all worth it.

“You’re a spoiled princess, Kei.”

“I know.”

\---

When he woke up to rays of sunshine breaking the blinds the next morning, Yamaguchi was toasty warm and comfortable, head to toe.

Right next to him, Tsukishima was still sleeping peacefully, face smooth and relaxed in his dreams, and it was hard to hold himself back from kissing him awake, but Yamaguchi wanted to allow him to sleep in, so he left it.

Instead, he carefully slipped out of the bed and tapped over to the bathroom, doing as much of his morning routine as he could with the hotel toiletries and giving himself a once-over. Even though his neck was sporting multiple deep red hickeys and his hair was a huge mess, Yamaguchi’s skin was glowing, and he felt _good_.

For the first time in a long while, he felt like everything was right where it was supposed to, be like everything was falling into place. His efforts were finally paying off in his career, he felt confident in himself, and – most importantly – he had Kei. All to himself. 

Yamaguchi was happy, so fucking happy.

Everything was finally alright.

Once he was done, he quietly made his way back into the hotel room, spotting their coats still laying on the ground from when they had dropped them carelessly the night before. Yamaguchi picked them up and hung them, not before checking the pockets to make sure nothing would suddenly fall out and wake Tsukishima up.

He fished out both of their phones and wallets, opening his own up to check his notifications as he made his way back to the bed. Yamaguchi stopped right before to place the valuables down on the nightstand and then sat down on the mattress gently so he could text Hinata about last night and maybe check for angry work emails.

That was what he was going to do anyway – until he saw the date on the screen.

Saturday.

It was Saturday morning.

When the realization hit him, Yamaguchi had to bite back a storm of curses-

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-_

_No fucking way._

_Oh god they’re going to hate me._

Because for the very first time since he started his career, Yamaguchi had forgotten to stream.

Just straight up forgotten.

_Fuck._

With hasty fingers, he opened his browser, logging into the mobile website and opening his profile. The little post rubric on the sidebar was filled to the brim with worried questions and mean comments, and Yamaguchi didn’t even dare to go through all of them, knowing he had disappointed his fanbase.

It wasn’t like he didn’t have a very good reason for missing out on that stream, but he should have at least announced it.

People were expecting his performance, and he was relying on them.

He had to apologize.

With a heavy heart, Yamaguchi opened a new post and started typing. He explained that he had a work emergency and that he was so busy he fully forgot to update them, and that he would definitely, _definitely_ make it up to them with the upcoming shows. 

Once he was satisfied with the wording of the short text he pressed send and put down his phone on the nightstand, sighing in relief.

They would forgive him. Probably.

But now he could go cuddle back into the covers and maybe-

_Buzz_

Oh. That was fast.

Yamaguchi blindly reached for the lit-up phone and brought it to his face, skimming over the top notification to see who had answered him so quickly.

**Nyx just posted – check it out!**

For a moment, he just sat there.

When his eyes finally caught up with the unfamiliar phone, and the unfamiliar wallpaper, and the unfamiliar case, and his synopses made the connection that this was Tsukishima’s phone and Tsukishima got a notification about the post he just made, not as Yamaguchi, but as Nyx, his heart dropped.

Breathing became hard. 

Yamaguchi’s world crumbled to pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi it's me again, 
> 
> THANKS FOR READING! 
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying LB3 so far (ive shortened the title to this in my head because its so goddamn long but thats my own fault) and i wanted to thank you guys for the support ive received up to now it really means the absolute world to me! <3 much love. 
> 
> About this chapter: i thought long and hard (like kei's dick haha - oh god i'm too old for dick jokes - anyways carrying on) about how to write their first time but i settled on this because 1) i wanted them to take it slow, at least a little and 2) i really wanted to introduce the idea of tsukishima going into subspace FAST. for what reasons you ask? you can start guessing (¬‿¬) 
> 
> see you next time! love, miso <3
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/messymiso)


	6. Simsala Grimm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the delay, I've been pretty busy, but it's finally here: drama! so much drama. 
> 
> I've been planning the center scene of this ever since I started this fic so this was fun to write, I hope you approve (─‿‿─)
> 
> CW!!!! mention of neglect of eating a little later on in the chapter. It's not crucial so if you want to skip it, go from //“When’s the last time you ate?”// to //“Tadashi,” he started.//
> 
> Now: enjoy!

  
_“Kei, Liebling, come here,“ a soft voice calls and Kei follows it happily, little feet tapping on the wooden floor in short intervals._

_“Mama! Can we play?“_

_"Of course, Schatz. Up with you.“_

_Gentle hands lift him off the floor and then he curls into his mother’s lap, snuggling into her warm arms, inhaling the scent of honey milk and lavender. His tiny hands are held by bigger ones, slender, smooth. Blond hair tickles Kei’s nose, but he giggles happily, shaking at the feeling._

_“Mama, mama! This one!” he demands, flexing his hands in hers impatiently and she complies, lifting his fingers to her lips._

_Gently, she places a kiss on his outstretched thumb, and Kei squeals._

_“Das ist der Daumen,” she starts, and immediately, Kei wiggles his index finger next._

_“Der schüttelt die Pflaumen.”_

_A second soft kiss._

_"Der hebt sie auf,“_

_Another kiss, on his middle finger now._

_"Der trägt sie nach Haus‘,“_

_A ring finger kiss._

_"Und der Kleine,“ she starts, pressing her lips softly against his pinkie finger, making him giggle, “Der Kleine isst sie alle, alle auf.“_

_Hands are on him suddenly, tickling his sides and Kei throws his head back, laughing and laughing and laughing until he is heaving for air and begging his mama to stop._

_She does stop - but it’s not because of his pleas._

_Heavy coughs shake her entire body, and the hands disappear from Kei’s sides to cover her mouth, instinctively trying to protect her baby from the illness that’s been plaguing her, even though she knows he would never be able to catch it._

_Kei is too young to understand that it would never go away._

_“Mama?”_

_Cough. “Y-yeah,” Cough. “Liebling?”_

_“Mama, are you okay?”_

_Cough. “Mmh, M-mama is just,” Cough. “Just fine.”_

_She hugs him closer once she calms down a little, body shuddering only a few more times, but she rocks Kei through it, whispering in his ear about how he doesn’t need to worry, and how everything is going to be alright._

_“There’s something that you always have to remember, mein Schatz. Promise your Mama this, don’t ever stay alone. Okay, Kei? It’s important to be with people you love. Like Mama, and Papa, and Aki love you. We love you so much.”_

_“I love you too, Mama.”_

_“I know you do, Liebling.”_

  
Tsukishima was crying when he woke up that night. 

Rain was pounding against his windows steadily, but the noise did nothing to soothe his aching heart, to ease the sobs away that shook his body to the very core. 

He was in pain. 

So, so much pain. 

A week had passed since he had awoken to a cold bed and an empty room in Kyoto, Yamaguchi long gone. It wasn’t hard to piece together what happened that morning, with his phone on the ground and the notification of the only cam website he had ever subscribed to blinking back at his tired eyes angrily.

Yamaguchi hadn’t shown up to work once since then. 

He had caught a fever, according to Yachi. 

Tsukishima knew that was a lie. 

His calls were blocked, his emails unanswered, the relayed messages through Yachi deflected. 

A fever didn’t break a heart. 

Tsukishima Kei did. 

Every new morning he woke up to no notifications again, he cursed himself. Every lunch break he spent alone, every painfully quiet walk from office to office, every decline to after-work-drink-invitations, he cursed himself and his very existence through all the nine circles of hell and back, because he had taken the only good thing that had ever happened to him in his life, and he had ruined it. 

All on his own. 

“That new intern did well on your trip. Mitsunaka called me right after you left his house, he was very pleased. Is he still sick? I wish to speak to him.” 

“No, he is still gone, father.” 

He was currently sitting in one of the ridiculously big leather chairs his dad liked to intimidate his clients in, staring out into the gray skyline, stewing in his own misery. 

“Shame. Well, he’ll have to make do with this until he comes back, then.” 

Tsukishima barely paid attention to what his father was doing, much more interested in the tiny droplets of rain peppering the unnecessarily big windows, until he slid a sealed letter in front of him, addressed to Yamaguchi. 

“Take this down to Yachi, would you? Tell her to send it out with the noon mail-run.” 

“What is that?” Tsukishima inquired, confused about why he would send him a letter and not just an email or something. 

“A check. And an offer, at least a provisional one. It’s unfortunate that we’re not allowed to officially pay our university interns, but it shouldn’t be an issue to relay a clients’ gift of appreciation. And we could use quick thinkers like him in the future.” 

Tsukishima nodded and pocketed the letter. 

This was good. If even his father was impressed with Yamaguchi’s skills, it would make things much easier for him once he graduated. Maybe he could even start working for them full-time. They could be partners, maybe take over the company one day. Together.

If only he hadn’t fucked up. 

Once again, Tsukishima’s head flooded with self-despising thoughts. 

He was the _worst_. 

He could only imagine what Yamaguchi must have felt when he realized that Tsukishima knew about his _other_ profession, and every time he thought about it, his insides pulled together painfully. 

It obviously looked like Tsukishima had just chosen him for his body, to feed into personal interest, to get closer to him like a disgustingly creepy stalker. If only he knew it was nothing like that. Never once had Tsukishima even thought about discovering who Nyx was outside of his alias until the very moment his face and name appeared on the desk in front of him and his father asked about his opinion. 

The one thing Tsukishima wanted for Nyx - for Yamaguchi - was to live a happy, comfortable life. 

Could he really be blamed for wanting the best for him? 

Absolutely. 

He had never thought this far ahead, but of course Yamaguchi was bound to find out eventually, and it went in the worst possible way. He should have laid open his cards, maybe, or hint at it until he figured it out, or maybe just be upfront from the beginning. Either way, he couldn’t blame him for being angry. 

Still, Tsukishima was adamant about fixing this. He had to apologize - properly. 

But that would only work when Yamaguchi actually listened. 

Suddenly, the letter in his coat pocket felt heavy. 

_Oh._

An idea flashed through his head, probably stupid, definitely bound to end in disaster, but he was already planning it through anyway. Tsukishima had lost so much already, there was little left of him to ruin. 

It looked like Yachi didn’t have to make that delivery run after all. 

\---

Half an hour after leaving the office that afternoon, Tsukishima stood in front of an unfamiliar apartment complex, the letter secure in his pocket.

He was nervous. Terrified, actually. 

There was no doubt that Yamaguchi would probably tear him to shreds once he realized who was standing on the other side of his door, but Tsukishima was fully prepared to carry the consequences of his actions. Still, even his resolve didn’t help with his nerves. 

Instead of ringing the doorbell at the building entrance, Tsukishima got lucky and managed to slip inside along with another resident, carefully making his way up the stairs, hunting down the apartment number scribbled onto the envelope that he had memorized a thousand times on his way there. When he finally came to a halt in front of it, Tsukishima was shaking. 

Fear, nerves, doubts, they all came crashing down on him, and he knew that if he didn’t ring the bell right now, he would probably give in and run away, like the coward he was. 

Without giving himself another second to think this through, he quickly pressed the button next to the door and waited. 

For Yamaguchi to come and tear him apart, or for the earth to open and swallow him straight down to hell, he didn’t know.

The only thing he was certain about was that he would not make it out alive. Probably. 

He waited and counted. 

One.

Two. 

Three. 

When his mind made it to four, he was ready to turn on his heel and leg it out of here defeated, but then the door opened, and a dark tuft of hair peeked out of it.

“Kobayashi-san?” he heard him say, and then, finally, his eyes met Yamaguchi’s. 

For a moment, they just stared at each other. 

Almost like time had slowed down, Tsukishima could see Yamaguchi’s expression shift from joy to shock to gloom, until it finally landed on anger. Before Tsukishima could even blink, an arm grabbed the front of his coat and then he was being yanked inside of the apartment in one swift motion, stumbling over the threshold and hearing the door fall into its lock behind him. 

He found himself trapped between very solid wood and a very angry Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima’s life flashed before his eyes. 

“You,” Yamaguchi hissed out and took a step closer towards him. 

Tsukishima shrunk in on himself at the dangerous fire blazing behind onyx eyes, and he brought up his hands in a defensive manner instinctively. 

“I’m so-“ he started but Yamaguchi shushed him with a glare that could cut diamonds in half. 

“Don’t you _dare_. A sorry won’t fucking cut it.” 

_I’m sorry_ , he wanted to say anyway, wanted to plead for forgiveness, but he knew that would make everything just worse than it already was. 

“I can’t believe it. I’m not even safe in my own apartment now, huh? You have some fucking nerve showing up here. What – you think I can’t look after myself?” 

Yamaguchi took another step, forcing Tsukishima to stumble against the door. 

“You think I need your help?” 

Step. 

”You think I need _you_?”

Step.

“I don’t need shit!” 

Yamaguchi was so close now that their chests were almost touching, and Tsukishima sucked in a breath in fear. 

“I know, I know,” he tried to amend, “I just wanted what’s-“ 

“Bullshit. Fucking _bullshit_ , I don’t want to hear it!”

Yamaguchi was fuming.

“You wanted what’s best for me? Am I your goddamn charity case? Do you really think I couldn’t manage on my own? You had to go and sabotage my career because I’m such a pity case? The poor whore that can’t achieve anything by himself? Is that what you want to say? Huh?” 

“No, I-“

“Shut up.” He pushed him by the shoulders, and Tsukishima’s knees almost buckled under the pressure. “Shut the fuck up!” Another push, and he wavered. “I don’t care what your pathetic excuses are, but you clearly thought you could charm me with your fucking money and your fucking position, and you really almost made me fucking fall for it.”

The third push sent Tsukishima to his knees, but he didn’t fight it. 

It’s what he deserved after all. 

He crashed to the floor, his barely healed bruises screaming at him in pain, but Tsukishima could only look up at Yamaguchi who was looming over him, transfixed on the disgust and fury burning in his eyes. 

“Are you happy now?” he asked, a mocking smile on his face. “Pretty convenient when one of the applicants turns out to be an easy slut, right? Were the others not to your taste? Would you have treated any of them like me? Or did I get special treatment because you’re so hopelessly in love with me?” 

Tsukishima almost choked on his own breath and Yamaguchi chuckled darkly. He bent down and grabbed his chin in his hand, forcing him to keep eye contact even more than before. 

He shivered. 

“Of course you’re in love with me. You gave me so, so much money, you gave me in that job, you even gave me your fucking virginity. You’re obsessed with me, aren’t you?”

He pushed his socked foot on Tsukishima’s chest, keeping him down on his knees in front of him, like a dog. 

Tsukishima couldn’t suppress the low whine that escaped his throat. 

Yamaguchi pulled a face.

“Pathetic. You’re disgusting, K-,” he caught himself before he finished the sentence and started again, still a grimace on his face. “No, you know what? You don’t even deserve to be called that. You ruined the name for me.”

Tsukishima’s heart broke. 

“I’m so sorry, Yamaguchi,” he whispered, not able to get anything more out than that. But he truly meant it. 

“You should be. You fucking should be.” 

Finally, Yamaguchi let go of Tsukishima’s face and leaned back up to rub his forehead with a sigh, suddenly looking exhausted. Now that he could look at him properly, Yamaguchi was much paler than usual, lines under his eyes hinting at dark circles, and his hair was a mess. He looked sick, actually sick, and it was worrying him. 

“Yamaguchi, are you okay?” he asked, carefully, but he only got a scoff back. 

“Fucking brilliant, actually, thank you so much for your concern.” 

Ouch.

He winced. “I mean it. I’m worried about you.” 

“Of course you are worried about me. I would be worried too if my favorite toy suddenly disappeared.” 

“Yamaguchi, you’re nothing like that, please let me explain-“ 

He was interrupted by an angry, frustrated groan, and suddenly Tsukishima was being pushed up against the wall again with a foot on his hipbone and a hand on his shoulder. Yamaguchi was close, dangerously close, and he looked ready to rip his throat out. 

“I said,” he hissed, quiet but deadly, “ _I don’t want to hear it!_ ” 

Tsukishima flinched back and remained quiet. 

He knew how much he must have hurt Yamaguchi, but seeing him this angry, this upset, was really doing a number on him. If only he would listen, actually listen to him- 

_Knock._

Yamaguchi suddenly snapped out of his state. 

_Knock, knock._

He turned his eyes back down to Tsukishima slowly, a death glare, but he remained silent. 

_Knock, knock, knock._

“Sit there, don’t fucking move, and if you say a single word, I will kill you and rip you into so many pieces that you’re going to decay before anyone even realizes you’re gone.” 

Tsukishima swallowed heavily but he nodded, unable to do anything but follow his orders. He scooted over on the floor towards the spot that Yamaguchi had pointed at, right behind the door, and he settled there, waiting quietly. 

Without giving him as much as a second glance, Yamaguchi pulled open the door, hiding him from the view of the intruder. 

“Kobayashi-san! Thanks for coming by!” he heard him say, a complete switch in mood from just a second earlier, and it was frightening how convincingly happy he sounded. 

“Of course, dear. Here, make sure to eat up so you can get back on your feet soon, Tadashi.” 

“You’re the sweetest. Thank you so much!”

He heard a lighthearted laugh of the, what had to be an elder woman, and Yamaguchi returned it. 

“I actually cooked the rice porridge with chicken thigh this time, my daughter sent me this recipe the other day and-“

They chatted on for a few minutes, about recipes and family and the new neighbor down the hallway, and Tsukishima was alone with his thoughts. 

It was painful. 

His instincts screamed at him to run away, to shield himself, to let Yamaguchi calm down on his own until he was ready to listen, but deep down he knew that wasn’t going to get him anywhere. This was different. This was important. For once in his sad, pathetic life, Tsukishima had found something important – someone important – and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t at least try. 

“Thank you again, Kobayashi-san. Say hi to your granddaughter when she visits, would you? She can come over again if she needs help with English homework.” 

“You’re such a kind soul, Tadashi, I’ll let her know. Take care now, and make sure to eat up.” 

“Will do!” 

They bid their farewell, and then the door finally closed again, revealing Yamaguchi, now holding multiple containers of food and drinks. As soon as the lock clicked, his face dropped from the smile he had been holding to an empty, apathetic look. 

Tsukishima wanted nothing more than to reach out, to smooth his hands over his frown, to kiss him over and over again until his smile that rivaled the sun in brightness was back on his face, but he didn’t move, frightened of setting him off again. 

Without giving his existence as much as a glance of acknowledgment, Yamaguchi made his way to the small kitchen right behind the entrance and started putting the food into the fridge, leaving one of the containers out and dumping its contents into a pot to heat up on the stove. Only then did he turn around to face him again, and his expression was unreadable. 

He looked Tsukishima up and down multiple times, peeling every layer of him away solely with his eyes until there was seemingly nothing left of him. 

Yamaguchi thought long and hard. About what? Tsukishima couldn’t have answered that question if his life depended on him. He hoped he was at least considering hearing him out. 

Only, Tsukishima was very wrong. 

“I hate you.” 

The words, spoken with so little emotion, like they didn’t mean anything to Yamaguchi, shot right through Tsukishima’s heart and shattered it into shards so tiny he couldn’t have picked them back up of he had a lifetime to do so. 

“I hate you so much.” 

He felt waterfalls break, rain unleashing their wrath on humankind, but it wasn’t him. Instead, Yamaguchi’s onyx was glistening, tears welling up in his eyes and spilling over with a choked-off sob. 

“I hate you-,“ he cried, “I hate you so much because even after all of this bullshit you pulled, my stupid fucking heart still wants me to believe you. I just want to believe that you didn’t use me, that you actually care about me, but I feel so, so, so fucking stupid-“

He took a step towards him and wiped at his eyes, breathing raggedly, and Tsukishima just couldn’t stand it anymore. The moment Yamaguchi took another step forward, stumbling and wavering in his dazy state, he surged up and crossed the distance between them, just in time to keep Yamaguchi’s weakened body from hitting the floor. He didn’t fight the arms catching him, instead curling up against his chest and sobbing into him freely. 

“Stupid, I‘m so, so, stupid,” he wept into Tsukishima’s front, clutching him tighter. 

“You’re not stupid, Tadashi, you’re not. You’re the smartest person I know and I care about you so much.” Tsukishima was hurting, every single cell in his body screaming at the pain in Yamaguchi’s voice, and he had to bite back his own tears.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, so, sorry Tadashi.” 

He repeated it over and over again, bur Yamaguchi didn’t seem to hear.

“I hate you.” 

“I know.”

“I hate you so much.” 

“I know, Tadashi. I know.” 

_I hate me too._

\---

  
Softly mumbled words pulled Yamaguchi out of his sleep. 

It wasn’t like waking up to an alarm, or abruptly opened curtains, no. He was submerged in an ocean of comfort, slowly letting himself drift up to the surface, gliding through warm water leisurely, no rush to make it out yet. Breaching through the waves felt nice, but it took time to shake off the water, rub it out of his eyes, his hair, his ears. 

When he finally felt himself wake up, he was surrounded by his blankets and cushions, comfortably tucked in. A wet cloth was dripping over his forehead and down his temples, but the cooling sensation felt great against his skin, and he sighed into his covers. 

Yamaguchi was just about to lazily let himself drift off again when he heard humming from outside his bedroom. 

Was that – 

_Kei?_

All at once, the events of that day came crashing down on him and Yamaguchi winced at the memory of how Tsukishima had shown up on his doorstep, how he had yelled at him, and how he had broken down in his arms, giving in to him like a weak, stupid, pathetic damsel in distress. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He was supposed to be mad.

He was supposed to hold his point and not forgive, supposed show him that he was strong and independent, but he had messed up and crumbled in front of him like a disgusting, stale, week-old graham cracker.   
  
Yamaguchi felt weak. So fucking weak. 

But - if he was being completely honest - he had started cracking way before Tsukishima had come around. Yamaguchi had been a mess the entire week. 

Everything since taking the first train back from Kyoto was a blur. He didn’t even cry on the way back home, he just felt empty, used, and gross. He had been so stupid. Of course there had been _something_ fishy going on with the sudden offer, the sudden connection he made to a customer, the sudden change in behavior of the unapproachable Tsukishima Kei. 

Of course he couldn’t just be a normal student that earned a normal internship spot in a normal way and had a normal hook-up with a normal colleague. 

The messages he received from Tsukishima before he blocked off all contact were just more salt rubbed into his gaping wounds. 

_Misunderstanding my ass._

He didn’t want hand-outs. He didn’t want pity. He had earned his grades and his recommendations with years of hard work and dedication, surpassing the naturally gifted and the privileged with elbow grease and nothing else, and he wasn’t going to accept treats like a spoiled kitten.

Especially not if Tsukishima thought he could get a quick fuck out of him in the process. 

But as the days blurred together in his apartment, and his body started to weaken from the food he refused and the shelter he despised - because Tsukishima definitely paid for a significant part of his groceries and rent, and he just couldn’t get himself to make use of it – his heart grew lonely. 

Overlooking the unnatural circumstances of his employment, he missed him. Yamaguchi just couldn’t believe that it had all been an act. The hours they spent together, the calls, the date – there was no way Tsukishima had faked all of that just to get in his pants. 

Right? 

He was more than a whore to him. 

Right?

He had worth as a human beyond his profession. 

_Right?_

The doubts made him spiral. His body gave out, slowly but steadily, fever rising, strength fading with every day he was left alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t even call Hinata, who, like everyone else in his life, was utterly unaware of his part-time job. 

He thought of Kei more and more, of him and the other Kei and Tsukishima at the office, and as his mind got hazy behind his burning skin, his thoughts started questioning whether anything had been real at all. 

But now Tsukishima Kei, his one-time lover, his client, and his boss was standing in his kitchen, singing words softly along to a song he couldn’t make out. Even after he had screamed at him, kicked him to the ground, commanded him like a dog, and told him off in a million different ways, he was still there. He tucked him in when his body couldn’t stand anymore, exhausted from all the bundled-up anger and frustration he had finally let out, and stayed. 

For him. 

Yamaguchi wasn’t sure how much time had passed since that afternoon, but the sky outside had long turned dark, and only the faint light of traffic and the neighboring buildings shone through his blinds. 

As he slowly peeled himself up from the covers, running the damp cloth over his face to rub the last bits of sleep away, he made a decision. 

He wouldn’t forgive Tsukishima. 

Not yet. 

He had tricked him, he had manipulated his education, his livelihood, and his sex life all at once, and there was no excuse for that. 

But, at the same time, Yamaguchi couldn’t deny the pull in his heart anytime he thought of him and his gentle kisses and his big hands holding his own like they were the most precious thing in the world - so he would at least hear him out. 

He could decide what to do afterwards. 

Careful not to overexert his aching body, Yamaguchi tapped out of his bedroom and headed towards the humming in his kitchen. He couldn’t make out the words even as he got closer, foreign sounds that made no sense to him, and it awakened his curiosity. 

“What language is that?” he asked as he opened the door, and Tsukishima let out a surprised yelp, dropping the cooking chopsticks he was holding and whirling around. 

It took a moment for him to calm down from the initial shock, and he had to right his glasses that had slipped halfway down his nose in a crooked way from his sudden movement, but he finally got out a “holy shit you scared me,” and Yamaguchi couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Sorry,” he laughed, but Tsukishima just grunted. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course you are.” 

Yamaguchi felt warm, and it wasn’t because of the fever. Being with Tsukishima was so easy. They worked together effortlessly like cogs in a well-oiled machine, and as much as the rational part of his brain screamed at him to not fall for it, Yamaguchi couldn’t help but relax and slip back into the routine. 

“How are you? I didn’t expect you up again this soon.” 

“’m okay. A little sleepy still, but I shouldn’t be passing out anymore.”

Tsukishima hummed in response and turned back to pick up the chopsticks, wash them, and resume his cooking. Yamaguchi trotted next to him and attempted to heave himself on top of the far kitchen counter, but failed miserably, his weakened arms not pushing him enough to make it all the way. He could feel himself stumbling and falling, but instead of hitting the floor, two solid arms reached out to steady him, and before he knew it, Tsukishima had already picked him up like he weighed nothing and sat him down gently. 

Heat rushed to Yamaguchi’s cheeks, and he mumbled out a quiet “Thanks,” more than a little embarrassed over how easily he was being carried around today, and how much he enjoyed it. 

Once again, he only received a quick nod for an answer, and then Tsukishima was back working the stove. With surprising elegance, he chopped scallions and tofu, stirring the blubbering rice porridge occasionally, and prepping dashi for the miso soup. 

It was nice to watch him go around, and even though Yamaguchi could tell that their fight was still looming over them, only half resolved, it was comfortable. At some point, Tsukishima started humming again, the same song as before, and Yamaguchi tried once more. 

“Is that Dutch?” 

He chuckled and shook his head. “German.”

“How the hell do you know German songs,” he questioned further, and the corners of Tsukishima’s mouth suddenly struggled to hold the smile. 

“My mother was German. She moved here for work. Made me watch German TV as a kid so I would learn the language.” 

_Oh_. 

_Was._

Guilt spread through Yamaguchi at the past tense he used, and his shoulders visibly dropped. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Tsukishima smiled down at the cutting board, sad still, but not upset. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.” 

_It doesn’t look like that time healed you, though_ , Yamaguchi thought, but he kept it to himself. He didn’t want to make it worse.

“What kind of song was that?” he asked instead, changing the topic, even if just a bit. “It sounded nice.” 

He chuckled. “It was from a stupid kids cartoon. Horrible animation. These two things, whatever they were, something like a lizard and a rodent anyways, would hop from fairytale to fairytale with their magic book and fix the protagonists' problems. Stupid. It was so stupid. But I just can’t get the song out of my head.“ 

That made Yamaguchi laugh. “Sounds like a good memory though.” 

He once again hummed in agreement, taking the pot off the stove and setting the cooking chopsticks aside. “It is. Bowl?” 

Yamaguchi complied and opened the cupboard he was sitting in front of, handing over dishes one by one as Tsukishima filled them with porridge first, and then with miso soup. It smelled good, and suddenly Yamaguchi remembered just how little he had eaten the past week. As soon as he got his hands on the filled dish, he dug in, shoveling the steaming rice into his mouth and immediately regretting it when it was way too hot to consume.

Before he could even ask, Tsukishima handed him a glass of water and he downed it thankfully. 

“Hot, hot, hot, hot,” he mumbled, blowing onto it to cool it down as fast as possible. Tsukishima laughed at him, leaning against the counter and gracefully waiting for his own food to turn to an edible temperature. 

“When’s the last time you ate?” he asked finally after watching him go through the process of taking a huge mouthful only to huff out the hot steam and quickly reach for the water for the third time in a row, and Yamaguchi almost choked on a piece of chicken thigh. 

“Uhm,-“ he started, thinking hard about the answer, not because of embarrassment but mostly because he genuinely couldn’t remember. 

He couldn’t remember much of anything really, what had happened the past week. He had eaten a few times, sure, showered way too long, and kept a bottle of water near his bed, but a proper meal? It had been a while. 

Tsukishima sighed at his lack of response and just reached over to the stove to plop another massive spoonful of porridge into Yamaguchi’s bowl. “Eat,” he instructed, watching with hawk eyes until he made sure that Yamaguchi actually did before returning his attention back to his own food. 

They ate in silence, Tsukishima making it through one serving, Yamaguchi downing three. It was the first time in a while that food actually tasted of something again, and his stomach was demanding to make up for all the nutrition he had denied it the days before. Even once it was only him eating, Tsukishima still stuck around, watching him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. 

When Yamaguchi finally set down his chopsticks, full and happy, Tsukishima spoke up again. 

“Tadashi,” he started, hesitating a moment as if to see whether he was allowed to continue or not, but just Yamaguchi nodded, and he carried on.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I know I did, and I apologize, from the bottom of my heart.” He swallowed visibly. 

“Will you hear me out? Please?” 

He nervously went to right his glasses, even if they were already perched on his nose perfectly, and Yamaguchi found the little habit endearing. He collected himself too, before answering. 

“I will hear you out. I won’t forgive you, not yet, because I was hurt, and I am hurt, and I won’t act like it’s all okay again with a small apology. But I will hear you out. This once.” 

Yamaguchi struggled to keep his voice as harsh as he wanted it to sound when all he was aching to do was to curl up in Tsukishima’s warm side and doze off with long fingers stroking through his hair, but he scolded himself on wanting to give in this easily. Yamaguchi had to remind himself that he was still angry. Very angry. Even if his outburst earlier washed away most of the bottled-up rage and sorrow that he had carried with him that week, and his heart ached for comfort and forgiveness now, his mind was still ready to defend himself and fight if necessary. 

He expected an explanation. A good one.

A good enough one that would shut the rational part of his brain off so he could sink back into outstretched arms and steal more kisses like he so desperately wanted to. 

“Thank you,” Tsukishima breathed out next to him, tense shoulders relaxing slightly, and he righted himself to start.

“Your spot for the internship wasn’t chosen by me.” 

_Huh._

_What?_

“What?” Yamaguchi repeated out loud, because what the fuck. That would throw all his suspicions of being hired for his body, all the anger over manipulation and control completely out of the window.

But- how else had he known about his other occupation? It couldn’t have been- 

“Believe it or not it was a coincidence. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m not lying. Ask my father if you need to.” 

Yamaguchi sputtered. “What? But-,” he started, and shook his head in disbelief. That was too much. He had to be lying, or making it up or _something_ \- 

“Nope. I don’t believe you.” 

Tall shoulders hunched over again, and Tsukishima sighed. “I know, I know, I wouldn’t believe myself either.” 

Yamaguchi’s mind was whirring. “But how did you find my cam page? How did you know about that? Why did you order me into a private session that night I got the letter? Why have I never seen you before that? That makes no sense-“ 

“That wasn’t the first night I watched you, Tadashi,” he interrupted, running a hand through his blond curls nervously. “I-,” he started, “I had been following you for months before that. I was just never brave enough to make any advances. My friends convinced me to look at the website and I didn’t even want to because I was never interested in any of that stuff but when I saw your stream that night, with that god-dammed fucking light-up plug, I just couldn’t click away. I kept going back, but I was so inexperienced, and you just intimidated me. But you,-“ 

He hesitated, looking for the right words, fiddling with his fingers. 

“You are gorgeous and hilarious and kind, and you just made me fall head over heels. Back then I was completely fine just watching from afar. I knew you were way out of my league anyway, and I didn’t want to be a creep, so I never asked for a private session or anything like that. I felt stupid and pathetic, but I cared about you in a weird way, so I made sure to send you money in small portions so I knew you’d have enough but at the same time you wouldn’t notice me at all.” 

Yamaguchi swallowed heavily.

That was a lot of information at once, and he needed to process it first. A heavy silence was hanging over them, and Yamaguchi was itching to ask more, but at the same time, he was scared. This was definitely not how he had expected the whole thing to go down. 

“What changed?” he finally asked, and Tsukishima’s face softened at the question. 

“Seeing your application on my father’s desk.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t have a hand in choosing me.” 

Tsukishima sighed and fumbled with his fingers. “Not really, anyway. Every year we get thousands, and I mean thousands of applications from students all over the country, the world even. We have employees whose only job it is to sort through them and sift out anyone that doesn’t have perfect scores and perfect recommendations and perfect everything, really. They go through rounds and rounds of deciding who would be worth considering at all, and in the very end, it goes to my dad. Tadashi, for your application to make it to my father’s desk, you need to be the best of the best. And you did. You made it there all by yourself. Please understand that.”

Slowly, Yamaguchi nodded, and he continued. 

“He doesn’t really care about the interns, my father. So he asked me to help him choose. At that point, there were only two applications left. I don’t even remember the other one because once I realized who that picture reminded me so much of, I couldn’t take my eyes off you anymore. You were right there, and, I’m sorry, Tadashi, but I had to, I just had to-“ 

“Had to do what?” 

“I pointed out a recommendation letter.” Tsukishima blurted it out and immediately bit his lip, chewing on it while staring at the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I know it was manipulation, and I know it was selfish, but-“ 

“You pointed out a recommendation letter.” 

Tsukishima nodded. “Professor Takeda went to university with him, they’re still friends today. Once I saw his signature on the paper, I knew he would take you. And he did. He did and now you’re here.”

He sighed. 

“I know that I had my hand in it, Tadashi, and I’m so, so, sorry, but please believe me when I say I only wanted what was best for you. And maybe I also wanted to get to know you, actually get to know you, without having to hide behind a screen and think that I’d never be able to reach you. It was selfish, I know, and you have all right to be angry with me. I shouldn’t have gone about it that way. But please believe me when I say that you earned your spot rightfully, and I never planned to get closer to you than you were comfortable with. I care about you Tadashi. And I’d never hurt you. That’s the truth and nothing else.” 

Yamaguchi’s thoughts were running wild, turning and twisting and going over every self-destructive thought he had in his life, every interaction he had with Tsukishima and with Kei and with both, every all-nighter he pulled to appease his professors, and every bill he paid with money that he had earned himself. 

Every thought he had that past week of manipulation and doubts about his worth as a person were slowly being unwinded, one by one, and things became clearer, transparent almost.

He could see Tsukishima scrolling through his website at home in secret, he could see his expression when he recognized him in the application picture, he could see his nervousness when he burst into the stream and demanded to speak to him away from the masses, clumsily tempting him with heaps of money because he just didn’t know any better. 

Yamaguchi thought long and hard about everything, completely silent.

Only, he must have been too silent,m for too long, because, besides him, Tsukishima began moving towards the door, head bowed downwards. Yamaguchi barely registered that he was trying to leave until he was already putting his shoes on. 

“I’m sorry, Tadashi,” he said quietly towards the ground, once again apologizing. One shoe was on already. “Call Yachi if you need anything. I can relocate you to a different department for the remaining time of your internship if you want. Just say the word.” 

_No, no, no, he couldn’t leave yet-_

“Tsuki-,“ Yamaguchi croaked, his voice suddenly not complying with him anymore, and Tsukishima didn’t seem to hear him. The second shoe slipped into place and he reached for his coat. 

Yamaguchi started to panic. He tried to wiggle off the counter, but his legs were not nearly strong enough to hold him if he jumped. 

_Fuck._

“My father sent you a letter. Here,” Tsukishima continued, with his back turned, setting down a white envelope on top of the shoe rack. “It’s a check, and an offer to work with us once you graduate. Consider it, please.”

When Tsukishima reached for the door handle, Yamaguchi just couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed himself off the kitchen counter and landed awkwardly on the floor with a loud thump, having just enough strength to not twist anything too bad, but it would probably leave a few bruises. “Wait-,“ he managed to get out, and finally, Tsukishima turned around. 

“Tadashi, what-“ 

“Wait, wait, wait, don’t leave,” he said, struggling to get off the floor but trying to make it anyways. “Don’t leave, Kei.” 

Tsukishima cursed and toed off his shoes at lightning speed, rushing over to him and kneeling down in front of him, arms outstretched.

“Hey, hey, don’t move, I’m not going anywhere,” he said, a little panicked himself, but Yamaguchi was just happy that he didn’t walk out of that door. 

Throwing all of his earlier anger and confusion out of the door, his brain finally satisfied with the explanations it had gotten, he sagged into his lap, weakly wrapping his arms around Tsukishima’s waist, keeping him there with the little strength he had left. 

“Don’t leave,” he mumbled against the soft fabric of his clothes that smelled so comforting, he couldn’t help but snuggle closer against it. Tsukishima let him, gently placing a hand on his head and stroking through his hair. 

“I’m sorry, I thought-“ he started, “I thought you didn’t want me around.” 

Yamaguchi violently shook his head against him. “No, no, no, I’m sorry, I do. I just had to think. ‘m not mad. Not anymore.” 

He could feel Tsukishima exhaling. “Okay. I’ll stay. I'll stay if you want me to.” 

Yamaguchi grabbed him tighter. “Mh. Thanks.” 

They remained in that position for a while, all perception of time leaving him with every gentle stroke through his hair, working almost like hypnosis. At one point, Tsukishima shifted, probably to ease tension from his knees and Yamaguchi took it as a cue to peel himself up again. 

“Your father really sent me an offer?” he asked warily when his gaze landed on the stark white envelope in his entrance. He had temporarily ignored it in favor of keeping Tsukishima from leaving, but now his interest was sparked, and he realized just how much of a big deal that was. 

“He did indeed. I was surprised too, but you must have left a good impression. I don’t think he’s ever done anything like this before.” Tsukishima chuckled and poked him in his side. “See?”

Suddenly feeling incredibly embarrassed, Yamaguchi buried his face behind his hands. “Ugh. Yeah. I see. I see now.” 

Tsukishima hummed in agreement. “Good.” 

Completely exhausted, but finally happy, Yamaguchi let himself sink back into Tsukishima’s arms, curling up on top him like a spoiled kitten. He didn’t seem to mind. 

“I missed you,” he whispered against his chest, eyes closed and basking in the comforting scent of his laundry detergent, lavender, and something that was just him. 

Tsukishima wrapped his arms around him. 

“I missed you too.” 

“So-,” Yamaguchi started after another timeless while, when his legs started getting uncomfortable, and sleep pulled on his mind.

“To make up for a making me sick and sad for a week - carry me to bed? Please?” 

Even if he couldn’t see his face, he knew Tsukishima probably rolled his eyes at him. Still, the hands around him gripped tighter and then he was lifted off the floor like a child, without complaints. 

For the third time that day, he was being carried around by him, and Yamaguchi couldn’t help but think that yes, he could definitely get used to this. 

\---

Tsukishima called in sick the next day. 

Not because he was feeling bad, no. Quite the opposite was the case, actually. 

He was content, happy, for the first time in a long while. 

The real reason he couldn’t make it to the office that day was simply because Yamaguchi wouldn’t let him go.

He had demanded him to stick around after tucking him in, and barely let him go to take a shower or make them breakfast the next morning. Almost constantly an arm was around him, a hand lingering somewhere, a thigh touching his, but even if Tsukishima wasn’t big on physical contact, he couldn’t have denied Yamaguchi the proximity if he wanted to. 

At least he was finally feeling better. His fever had dropped significantly overnight, and his strength was returning steadily. 

Yamaguchi was eating properly again, drinking tea and water hourly under Tsukishima’s strict watch, and he even agreed to take some medicine he got on a grocery run. It had been more than a little tedious to convince him to let Tsukishima go for twenty minutes, just to run down to the convenience store and stock up the fridge, but after bribing him with fries from the take-out station, he finally let him go. 

It was good to be with him again. Tsukishima didn’t even realize just how much he missed his company, until he felt the center of his mind shift back into the right place after being completely offset for the past week. 

Clearing the misunderstanding up had been harsh and painful, even after they both had calmed down, and Yamaguchi once again turned serious to lay down ground rules for them. All of which had been quite obvious to Tsukishima even before, but he wouldn’t make the mistake of risking a miscommunication again, so he listened closely, explained whatever Yamaguchi questioned, and agreed to all of his demands. 

No mention of his job to anyone.

 _Obviously_.

No attempts at convincing him to stop camming.

 _Duh_.

No being overly possessive on streams.

 _Mhpf_.

That one was a little harder to agree on. 

But the knowledge that, at the end of the day, Yamaguchi would return to him, curl up in his side, and pepper him with kisses, was more than enough to shush his jealous side. They could stare all they want, shower him with their money and compliments, but they would never get the privilege of tasting Yamaguchi, hearing all the gasps and moans and whimpers up close, and marking him up as- his. 

_His?_

_Ah._

That was something they hadn’t talked about yet. 

Currently, Yamaguchi was lounging on his bed, only wearing a bathrobe and a towel over his shoulders to catch the drips of his wet hair. He had taken a shower – no bath, so he wouldn’t raise his temperature again, which he had grumpily agreed to – and was now watching a volleyball game of a few days ago. 

The score bar read MSBY vs. Falcons, and Yamaguchi seemed to be completely focused on the movements on screen. The team was vaguely familiar to Tsukishima, and he only realized why when he saw the back of a black jersey with a big 12 printed on it, and an even bigger, bolder Bokuto right above it. 

“Oh god, why are you watching that,” he sighed, rubbing his temples as a reflex, the sudden phantom headache he usually got from just looking at his former captain and probably-something-like-a-friend bright grin appearing behind his forehead. 

“Mh? Shouyou is playing, of course I’m watching. I would have gone in person, but I couldn’t, obviously. I wanted to wait a few days until I felt good enough to focus on it, but I can now and it’s great. Look? They’re definitely taking the second set too.” 

Tsukishima’s brain finally made the connection. 

He groaned. 

“Please don’t tell me that it’s _that_ Shouyou. He’s playing with Bokuto? Fuck, I can only imagine what their captain has to put up with.” 

Yamaguchi whipped around. “How do you know Bo-,” he started, but then realization fell over his face. “Holy fuck, he was your captain at Fukurodani, right?” 

He nodded in defeat as he made his way over to join him on the bed, setting down the bottles of water he was carrying over. 

“That’s so cool! Bokuto is great. Shouyou really looks up to him. Why didn’t you tell me you knew someone in the Jackals? We could go to their games together or something.” 

Tsukishima sighed. “I don’t really-,“ he started, and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened. 

“What? You don’t go to your senpai’s games? What the hell, Kei, that’s not very good-kouhai-ish of you.” 

He frowned. It wasn’t a lie that he hadn’t been upholding his friendships that well lately. Or ever, really. Bokuto was loud, and especially paired with Kuroo, they were a menace to his sanity, which is why he had kept contact with them to a minimum, only giving in when they literally showed up on his doorstep and dragged him out with them. 

But since they indirectly had led him to Yamaguchi – maybe he could give them some credit. 

“The games are loud,” he simply said instead, and Yamaguchi chuckled. 

“Yeah. That’s kind of the point, Kei.” 

Tsukishima leaned back against the pillows and reached for one of the bottles, sipping on it awkwardly. 

“It’s not like I _can’t_ go.” he finally grumbled out, and Yamaguchi giggled. 

“Oo, is that an invitation?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Definitely. We should go next season! I think there’s a few games in Tokyo too, so we won’t have to travel-“

Yamaguchi started rambling about game plans and arenas and how he might see some of his old classmates and how they could maybe even organize a game with everyone, and how it would be so much fun to reunite the old training camp gang, even if they were separated by years, but Tsukishima could barely focus on what he was saying when his mind was whirling with thoughts of how much Yamaguchi had him wrapped around his little finger. 

The idea of going to a game suddenly was not nearly as terrifying as it should be when he imagined a hand on his, or a thigh pressed against his own, a voice to distract him form the horrible background noises.

Shit. Now he kind of _wanted_ to go.

Yamaguchi was a magician healing all his inner wounds, while simultaneously tickling out the best in him, challenging him to do more, be better, and Tsukishima was overwhelmed. 

Without giving himself a second to consider what the hell was going on in his head, he blurted out the first thing on his tongue.

“Be my boyfriend.” 

Yamaguchi stopped mid-sentence; mouth half-open in surprise.

“What?” 

“Be my boyfriend,” he repeated. ”Please.” 

The skin underneath Yamaguchi’s freckles turned dark pink in record time, and he immediately went to bury his face in his hands, letting out a sound somewhere between a groan and a squeal. 

Tsukishima waited patiently. 

_This is fine, right?_

They had been on a date before, they had kissed and everything beyond that, and just yesterday, Yamaguchi had begged him to stay, clinging to him in his sleep like he was a lifeline. 

_It is okay to ask, right?_

Yamaguchi finally peeled the hands off his face and looked at him, still blushing, but at least he was smiling. That was a good sign, right? 

“You’re so blunt, Kei, jeez,” he finally mumbled out, and he was just about to open his mouth again to say something else when the doorbell rang. 

They both halted, Yamaguchi groaning out at the interruption, but he started moving to get off the bed anyway. 

“I’ll get it,” he exhaled, “Sit tight.” 

With that, he was tapping out of the bedroom, leaving Tsukishima behind, literally letting him to dangle off a cliff with nothing but a thread of support. 

He cursed whoever was behind that door to hell and back. 

What was Yamaguchi about to say? Would it be a yes? A no? Did he just royally mess up _again_ when they just made up?

Tsukishima was upset. 

When he finally heard the door open, there was only a fraction of a second where things were quiet. 

Then, hell broke loose. 

“’Dashi! Hey, hey, hey! How are you? Why didn’t you come to my game? I missed you! Do you still have that futon with my name on it?” 

He could hear Yamaguchi let out a muffled scream. 

“Shouyou!” 

Tsukishima had a bad feeling about this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo- 
> 
> German Tsukki. Because I say so. That little finger game is something my mother played with me a lot as a kid and I thought about it when I wrote the little hand kiss scene at the ice rink last chapter, it reminded me so much that I couldn't resist. The song he hums later is the ending credits of "Simsala Grimm" a kind of terrible show i grew up with but the song is a bop. translations at the end
> 
> I hope you liked this! It was a little tough to write out their entire fight, but i hope its somewhat cohesive.
> 
> Next time: Shouyou being the ball of chaos that he is, and: a strangely familiar face. 
> 
> Love, miso <3
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/messymiso)
> 
> ++++  
> \- Liebling - my dear  
> \- Schatz - treasure   
> \- Das ist der Daumen, der schüttelt die Pflaumen, der hebt sie auf, der trägt sie nach Haus, und der Kleine isst sie alle, alle auf - this is the thumb, this one shakes the plum (tree), this one picks them up, this one carries them home, and the little one eats all of them alone   
> \- [the song Kei hums](https://youtu.be/JUzwH3tN3LE)


End file.
